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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about birthday cake

69 replies

NeedACleverNN · 24/03/2016 18:31

Dd's birthday is on Saturday and we are having a Peppa Pig party at our local soft play. All we have to provide is the cake.

My SIL immediately offered to buy the cake despite our protests when the party was first arranged in January.

She has mentioned it a few times and we kept saying we don't mind if we go and buy it to make it clear they don't have to. I even mentioned I saw a perfect cake in sainsburys (it was daddy pigs car)

Got a phone call and they have bought her.....a frozen cake. I am so wound up, probably unreasonably so. I'm just annoyed in the fact that I even said I saw the perfect cake so I'll buy it and they simply said what is it and oh we will get that one then. I even showed them it!!

So wibu to go out and buy this cake myself and serve that one at the party or do I have to grin and bear it?

OP posts:
StrictlyMumDancing · 24/03/2016 18:59

Buy the Peppa Pig cake for the party. Have the Frozen aside in case there's not enough Wink

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 24/03/2016 19:00

I can at least sigh a breath of relief she told us ahead of time and not just turn up at the party with it

OP posts:
Grilledaubergines · 24/03/2016 19:02

Cut the frozen one in half, wrap separately and freeze. It'll defrost fine for when you want a bit of cake further down the line.

It's not an of the world thing but annoying because she hasn't actually done you a favour.

WhereYouLeftIt · 24/03/2016 19:03

No clue why my posts are looking so weird Confused.

Vintage45 · 24/03/2016 19:08

Think it might have to do with OP not really disclosing whats going on in the family at the mo "WhereYouLeftit" The OP starts of by saying one thing then it unravels that there's a rift going on that hasn't got much to do with a damn cake Grin

HackerFucker22 · 24/03/2016 19:12

I would buy and serve the peppa cake and if sil dares to say anything then she needs to be curtly reminded it is her nieces party and she needs to behave. Or you could tell her MIL bought the peppa cake

DinosaursRoar · 24/03/2016 19:17

Buy the peppa pig cake - send SIL text: "hi SIL, DH said you couldn't find a Peppa Pig cake, great news, I've tracked one down in the Sainsburys near us and managed to grab one quick! If you don't want to return the cake you picked up, we can cut both and put an extra slice of cake in each party bag or serve at the party for parents. See you on Saturday! x".

If she is trying to wind you up, just act like you think she's behaved the way she did for the stupid reasons she stated - she said she bought the Frozen one because she tried to get the Peppa one and they'd sold out/didn't stock it in her sainsburys, so would be happy that you had been able to find the correct one. Don't say anything before buying the Peppa Pig one, she's delivered this as a done deal, you do the same.

She can only upset you if you let her. Go to Sainsburys tonight and get the cake your DD wants. Say "No thank you" to any suggestion like this from your SIL again.

EastMidsMummy · 24/03/2016 19:19

we kept saying we don't mind if we go and buy it

Well, that's as clear as mud.

HanYOLO · 24/03/2016 19:26

You should have said "thankyou that is so very kind but I have seen the cake that DD wants and I will go and get it".

But tbh no-one will give a toss whether the cake fits the theme, least of all the party-goers. Have the Frozen cake and save your angst for something else.

JuxtapositionRecords · 24/03/2016 19:35

From your last post, buying a new cake seems like it will open up a whole can of worms. I would just accept the cake and not get another, it's just cake at the end of the day. The kids won't care!

Katedotness1963 · 24/03/2016 21:01

Can't you just "forget" to defrost it in time for the party?

WonderingAspie · 24/03/2016 21:05

How weird. She sounds like one of those people who want to do what they want despite what others say. You quite clearly showed her the cake you want so for her to go and get a Frozen one is very deliberate.

Why is she so bent on getting the cake? No one has ever bought my DCs a cake apart from me. I'd find it odd if anyone insisted on getting one.

babba2014 · 24/03/2016 21:05

There can never be too much cake so cut her one up and putting on a serving table.

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 24/03/2016 21:12

Why is she so bent on getting the cake? No one has ever bought my DCs a cake apart from me. I'd find it odd if anyone insisted on getting one.

I really don't know!

She was complaining about being so busy that she was going to have to buy it a week early.

I turned round and said don't worry about it. I will go and get it Friday. All you have to do is turn up on Saturday.

I was immediately fobbed off and told not to worry she will find time to get it closer to the day.

OP posts:
WonderingAspie · 24/03/2016 21:17

She is being difficult for the sake of it. I think you are going to have to be more assertive/blunt with her.

PhyllisKemp · 24/03/2016 21:32

To be honest, it's a complete lack of thought on your sister in law's part. She's showing that she is controlling (I'll buy the cake) at the same time as not caring about you or your daughter (cheap, frozen cake).

The thing I don't understand is who buys frozen cake? Cake is best stored for a very short amount of time in a refrigerator and its taste and texture will be all but ruined by freezing it.

TheCometAndLittleLegend · 24/03/2016 21:36

I read the OP and thought the SIL had bought a frozen (small F) peppa cake.

I was thinking... I didn't know you could get birthday cakes out of the freezer section Blush

Birthgeek · 24/03/2016 21:39

Ahaha - It's a Frozen cake OP? As in Anna & Elsa?

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 24/03/2016 21:41

Yes Frozen as in Anna and Elsa not frozen as in cold Blush sorry

OP posts:
Birthgeek · 24/03/2016 21:44

I'm giggling at the posters assuming it was a cake that was frozen! Erm, I'd get the cake you want and serve both. If SIL questions it say "the more the merrier"

Vintage45 · 24/03/2016 21:51

Its obviously not about a friggin peppa pig cake.

Its about adults acting like children Grin

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 24/03/2016 21:54

But viiiiiiiiintage

OP posts:
weirdsister · 24/03/2016 21:57

Just serve the peppa cake. It's dd's birthday so she gets to decide.

DinosaursRoar · 24/03/2016 21:59

Honestly, if you think it's likely she's done it to upset you, and the way she's chosen to upset you is by delibrately upsetting your DD, then don't put up with it.

Go get the cake your DD wants tonight, tellher that yay, you were able to get one, act like you believe her that she "tried to buy a Peppa Pig cake but they didn't have any" because if that was the case, she'd be happy you'd managed to get the one your DD wanted.

Never let her be in a position of hurting you by hurting your child.

Get your DD the cake. Act like you don't think your SIL did this delibrately, whilst not letting her spoil your DD's day.

Vintage45 · 24/03/2016 22:21

Go for it OP.