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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask your opinion's on big age gaps?

52 replies

TwistedTruth · 05/03/2016 18:04

Just what the title says really.

Theres 10 years between me and my partner, we had some negitive comments and people saying we wouldn't last because a maturity issues but we've been together 4 years now!

OP posts:
Perfectlypurple · 05/03/2016 18:05

10 years between me and dh. We have been together 8 years, married for 5 this year.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 05/03/2016 18:07

Nine and a half years between DP and I. Together from 16 and 25. Five years and a DD together, very happy, outlasted any "closer in age" relationships among friends.

AStreetcarNamedBob · 05/03/2016 18:09

I'd say a big difference between 16 and 26 and less between 50 and 60

However my MIL is currently living thru hell as carer for her 79 year old husband (15 year gap) so I only see that side and wouldn't recommend spending your retirement like that.

MyBreadIsEggy · 05/03/2016 18:09

6 years between me and DH which doesn't seem a lot now, but when I met him, I was 16 and he was 22, so it seemed quite big then!
I have a friend whose mum was 17 when she married my friends dad - he was 35. They are still together now 25 years and 5 kids later Smile

MyBreadIsEggy · 05/03/2016 18:10

Should probably add, they married to cover up the fact that she was pregnant with my friend!

jollyjester · 05/03/2016 18:10

6 years between dh and i. Got together when I was 18 & that was 13 years ago.

We've grown up together but both still been pretty independent.

One of his favourite sayings is 'you're only as old as the woman you feel'. Although now I'm 30 I dont hear it as much!! Grin

DeoGratias · 05/03/2016 18:11

If he's rich and over 90 you tend to be on to a good thing. If you 3earn a lot and he's good looking and younger good deal partgicuarly if you don't marry (if you marry rights to claim money come in and you're better off just living together in case you split up).

On the whole someone within 5 years of you either way tends to be wise unless the other person is very very young.

JanetOfTheApes · 05/03/2016 18:13

Depends on ages. 26 and 36, 30 and 45, 35and 65 etc, whatever floats your boat.

14 and 24, or 17 and 35, or 20 and 70....not so much with the ok.

Original poster
TwistedTruth · 05/03/2016 18:13

I had just turned 21and DP had just turned 31.

Theres exactly 10 years and 21 days between us.

OP posts:
lessthanBeau · 05/03/2016 18:14

9.5 years between me and my DP, been together 18 years 1 dd and getting married in 3 weeks. (I'm the older one)

SwedishEdith · 05/03/2016 18:14

I'm assuming you're older? Age gaps are fine when you're in your 20s and he's in his 40s/50s. They become problematic as you get older, though.

Owllady · 05/03/2016 18:16

I met my dh when I was 18 and he was 26 and married 18 months later. Been together 20 years
Confused

allegretto · 05/03/2016 18:18

11 years between us which once seemed big but now we are in our 40s and 50s seems like nothing I am aging faster than him

Dolallytats · 05/03/2016 18:20

12 years between me and DH. Met when I was 18, he was 30. Have been together almost 23 years.

BadDoGooder · 05/03/2016 18:27

There is 15 years between me and DP.
I am 31 and DP is 46, never had a weird look or comment, have been together 8 years with nearly 4yr old DS.
My ex before DP was 19 years older than me!

Halftruth · 05/03/2016 18:36

My partner is 10 years younger than me . and to be honest it has been my most loving and enjoyable ...but can also be very fiery ... Wouldn't change her for the world

Pinkheart5915 · 05/03/2016 18:39

I am 25 and husband is 35 so 10 year age gap.
We have been together 5 years, married for 7 months have a 6 month old son and am currently pregnant with number 2.
When we got together some friends said he was too old etc, but we have the same interests and I am very very happy.

meatliqour · 05/03/2016 18:40

24 years between me & DS Dad

Original poster
TwistedTruth · 05/03/2016 18:42

Halftruth

With you being the older one, how did your family react?

My brothers hated the fact there baby sister was seeing someone older than them and we still have trouble with them now.

OP posts:
Zorbathegeek · 05/03/2016 18:46

15 years between us, me older. 5 years together. Best relationship I've ever had.

Heatherplant · 05/03/2016 18:48

10 years between me and my DP, works for us. Get a few bizarre comments and some people assume I don't work and I'm with him for his money. Obviously these are stupid people as they seem to think my DP has money beyond the massive pile of change on the bedside cabinet.

Halftruth · 05/03/2016 18:49

I don't have a lot to do with my family. my friends where a bit shocked ,but i think it was more the fact it was my first lesbian relationships.lol

BlueJug · 05/03/2016 18:50

12 years between us. 30 years now. Got comments didn't care

People always find something to judge but they know nothing about individual relationships. It may or not be happy. It may be difficult or it may not. The judging, (especially if one party is very young), makes people feel superior. Ignore it.

QuiteLikely5 · 05/03/2016 18:51

Different ages, different stages is what I always think.

When the man is the younger partner I think much less chance of the relationship succeeding

Halftruth · 05/03/2016 18:51

Love the name by the way