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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH playing mortal f'ing Kombat with DS aged 4.5

76 replies

Bizzy2011 · 29/02/2016 17:29

Title says it all, he says its fine as he's explained its not real and he 'covers his eyes' during gory bits.
I'm hopping mad at his attitude, DS informed me that 'its not really mummy and fighting games are'nt very good'. DH all 'research is inconclusive' blagh blagh.
Any advice, links to solid research that if necessary I can shove somewhere painful on DH?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Abed · 29/02/2016 17:31

No, just no.

The finishing moves are fucking gory!

PirateJones · 01/03/2016 02:25

I second the suggestion of using libero up and go, it's a pullup rather than a nappy but it holds loads.

PirateJones · 01/03/2016 02:27

sorry wrong thread. Blush

CultureSucksDownWords · 01/03/2016 02:52

It's an 18+ game, doesn't that tell its own story to your idiot DH?

I don't know what you could say to him if he doesn't get it. Sorry, that's not very helpful. Why does he think that PEGI do the ratings and mark a game as 18 plus? Only 4% of games are rated at 18, whereas 50% of games are rated 3 plus. There will be plenty of suitable games to choose from.

Isetan · 01/03/2016 04:15

Your H is an idiot but I'm guessing this isn't the first time he's broadcasted his idiocy.

Original poster
Bizzy2011 · 01/03/2016 10:22

PIrate Jones I thought it was advice ;)
iSetan he's not normally a muppet like this - but I'm at a loss what to do except for basically telling ds I'm not happy about him playing games like this etc and offering alternatives which thankfully he generally will trot off and do. Short of tipping a steaming nappy on DHs head (courtesy of DD) as I initially thought pirate was suggesting...not sure what to do.

OP posts:
mummymeister · 01/03/2016 10:30

Oooh I second the steaming nappy! clearly his head is full of shite if he thinks letting a toddler view and play such a vile game is acceptable.

sorry OP but why don't you just ban all adult games until your dc are in bed. would you watch an 18 film whilst your dc was in the room?

this is going to make for some very interesting conversations when your dc starts school.

tell your dh, don't ask, tell him that if he wants to do violent make believe then he either does it when dc are in bed or in a separate room.

I am staggered at the parents that don't understand the harm that this repetitive violence has sublimely on kids. seriously, he is a parent now, not a nerdy 18 year old.

VocationalGoat · 01/03/2016 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iMatter · 01/03/2016 10:37

Your husband is a dickhead.

I know that's unhelpful but these things really really make me angry. It beggars belief that someone can be so bloody ignorant.

Have a google of ratings for games and why games are given particular ratings. Was it Tanya Byron that did a report a few years ago on exactly this sort of thing? I'm a bit brain frazzled this morning so not 100% sure.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 01/03/2016 10:45

Blimey Shock

I do remember having to pretty much tell DH not to play grand theft auto in front of (not with) DD when she was a toddler - I hadn't said anything when she was a newborn, and he somehow seemed not to connect the fact she was getting older, and taking notice of what was on the screen... He did stop immediately when I said.

Playing an 18 game with a 4 yo though and trying to justify it Shock

Could they play a driving game together (not GTA!!! One that is just driving - my 4.5 yo likes playing Forza Horizon with my 8 yo and sometimes DH plays with one of them, although it is a 6 (not sure if the 6 rating exists in the UK, might be a PG) ... a lot better than an 18!

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 01/03/2016 10:50

Lego Starwars and Disney Infinity are the only fighting games allowed here - I do sometimes wonder if they are a brilliant idea for the youngest... but certainly they are not gory...

OneMagnumisneverenough · 01/03/2016 10:51

Ask him if he'd sit and watch Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs etc with DS as part of a family movie night......and there is your answer.

GloGirl · 01/03/2016 10:52

There is no way that your DH isn't doing that because he is nothing but selfish. There would be hundreds of games your son would like more, it's just your DH can't be fucked to play something he doesn't like.

If your husband can't play appropriately tell him he can't play at all. What a Cunt.

GloGirl · 01/03/2016 10:52

I don't know what the hell I am saying in my first sentence! Sorry, just nonsense.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 01/03/2016 10:53

...or at what age he would try to get him into the cinema to watch an 18 movie with him?

OneMagnumisneverenough · 01/03/2016 10:55

...and I say that as someone who doesn't stick rigidly to age guidelines. I have generally allowed games a bit younger than the limit but I'm talking 14/15 for an 18, not 4.

ThorsLady · 01/03/2016 10:55

It's just a game.
I used to spend all day watching my brother play games like Doom, GTA, much worse games than Mortal Kombat.

Shock & horror I'm not a serial killer, I haven't murdered anyone and I don't have a tendancy towards violence.

They're just games.

mummymeister · 01/03/2016 10:56

ask him to read this thread OP.

use mr google and see the harm this has on small kids. it desensitises them from violence. is your dh going to be the one to deal with this when your dc is older and beating the crap out of other kids?

ThePebbleCollector · 01/03/2016 10:58

I think Mortal Combat was one of the first games I played with my brother (12 years older than me) and Die hard on the playstation, I don't think I was 4, looking at the release dates I was probably about 7.

The ONLY thing that scared me about that game was this fella, (a normal person not an animation) that used to pop up on the screen and shout "whoopsie!!!" it still shits me up now haha.

Can't see it being a bad decision in my instance because me and my partners are both gamers and it never affected me.

I do have the newer mortal kombat games now and they are particularly gory and graphic.

BUT that being said. He's obviously just being a selfish git who doesn't want to play anything age appropriate. If he wants to play games with DS get on the bloody cbeebies website!

Jasonandyawegunorts · 01/03/2016 10:59

Shock & horror I'm not a serial killer, I haven't murdered anyone and I don't have a tendancy towards violence.

That's exactly what you would say if you were a serial killer...!Shock

BadDoGooder · 01/03/2016 11:00

No no no.
I have a secret liking of the Dead or Alive series of fighting games, it is no where near as gory as MK, but there is absolutely no way on earth I would play it in front of DS (3.9)
The only games DS is allowed to play is a Cars one, and a couple of other driving games we have, and some of those silly little ones. That's it.

AFAIK a lot of research points to early exposure of violence in video games as being a bad thing.
I had a row with DP the other day because he wanted to watch some film with DS, and although it's a PG I had seem some of it and knew it wasn't suitable for him. On the other hand I did watch Monty Python in front of DS (rated 15) and just FFwrd through the one and only bit thats vaguely gory (the killer rabbit!) it's all about common sense!

mummymeister · 01/03/2016 11:00

Thorslady - cant reply to your comment because seriously "they are just games" how old are you 12?

they have an 18 rating for a very good reason. there is plenty of research out there about the desensitising effect of this.

so you aren't an axe murderer - yippee!! but how do you know that this hasn't had some effects on your own emotional maturity and well being. have you been tested?

nothing is 100% certain but the evidence is there, time and again of how these games affect peoples perspectives. just staggered by your comments.

do you let your 4 year old watch 18 films then? what about inappropriate comments at school or is watching violence ok but sex not?

OneMagnumisneverenough · 01/03/2016 11:03

I don't necessarily think that seeing the violence always causes them to be more violent or turns them into a serial killers though clearly there are cases where this has been linked. For the vast majority it wont. However I do think that it causes emotional changes on a very young developing brain and affects their ability to empathise and care which transfers to real life. Possibly similar to children who have witnessed domestic violence. They get engrossed in the games and care about the characters and watching them being violently slaughtered is bound to have an effect.

ThePebbleCollector · 01/03/2016 11:04

Despite me playing games and watching 18's at a very young age. And me not turning into anything dodgy (but I would say that wouldn't I?) Me and my OH don't play games such as fallout or GTA infront of our 1 year old. Always wait til she's asleep. Not that we'd have time to play it while she was awake anyway!!

ThorsLady · 01/03/2016 11:04

Er, no, not 12... I just grew up in a time period where mumsnet wasn't a thing & life wasn't so PG.

I let my 2 year old hang around while DH is playing GTA. I don't sheild her eyes, mostly because she doesn't really care what is on the TV. I suppose that makes me a terrible mother setting my poor, innocent child up for a life of crime?

My emotional maturity & wellbeing are nothing short of perfectly fine.