DH playing mortal f'ing Kombat with DS aged 4.5

[Bizzy2011]

Title says it all, he says its fine as he's explained its not real and he 'covers his eyes' during gory bits.
I'm hopping mad at his attitude, DS informed me that 'its not really mummy and fighting games are'nt very good'. DH all 'research is inconclusive' blagh blagh.
Any advice, links to solid research that if necessary I can shove somewhere painful on DH?

Thanks in advance.

[ColdTeaAgain]

Yes should add, the parent was called in for a quiet word about it at pick up but sadly she just denied they were playing the game before the child was in bed and said well he must be sneaking down and watching it from the stairs...yeah, pull the other one.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

Could you engineer a sudden interest in improving his swimming/learning to swim or ride a bike etc that you could get DS to ask his Dad (or you ask on his behalf) so that would limit the time available for other stuff?

[Bluewombler2k]

Funnily enough he needs serious work on his cycling skills so that could be a very good idea!!

[ThePebbleCollector]

This is completely irrelevant for a 4 year old, still stand by the fact he's being a lazy git, but for older older kids, just remembered you can actually turn blood and fatalities off on mortal kombat, so even worse that your oh is just getting ds to cover eyes on the "bad bits"!

[NewLife4Me]

I think your dh has to be the most irresponsible parent I've ever heard of.
Sort him out, throw the bloody console and game in the bin, he's a grown man ffs.
Tell him to play age appropriate toys with him of fuck off.

[CommanderShepherd]

I'm a gamer, love mortal combat but.... Yeah, it's rather gory for a young child. I don't believe movie/video game violence desensitises as its not real violence. They put the ratings on for a reason. The guy in the video below explains things a lot better than me,

btw he shows the difference between real and fake violence, just a warning

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

Can you tell your DHs that they are building memories for your child's future? And do they want those memories to be where they are playing outside together or learning new skills or actually spending time together or do they want those memories being stuff like I sat next to my dad looking at people getting killed on a computer screen?

Imagine the speech at their child's wedding when they can talk about teaching them to swim/ride a bike, score a goal, fish, bake a cake rather than, "I can remember when he/she was 4 and watched me blowing stuff up on the tv"

[MetalMidget]

There isn't any definitive evidence that shows that violent games (or movies/TV) do long term damage to kids. However, there's no way I'd let a child that young watch me play something like Mortal Kombat, and I say that as a big Mortal Kombat fan!

[mummymeister]

MetalMidget there is definitive evidence.

CommanderShepherd you can tell its not real violence because you are an adult. a young child cant. read the full thread. others have posted this far more eloquently than I can.

[ThePebbleCollector]

I don't even know how it's got into a debate about video game violence and children, this child is only suitable for the most basic of games, you'd have to be a bloody idiot to think MK is a suitable thing for any child to watch at all, for violence, aggression, nightmares....etc.

I'd expect this discussion for a "can my 15 yr old play gta" type of thread.

This one seems very cut and dry. Too young, lazy fella, do something more in the child's interest!

[Flashbangandgone]

Thorslady: "They're just games."

I'm utterly staggered by your attitude! It seems that playing and watching these games has adversely your ability for reasonable thinking! By your logic it would surely also OK to let 4 year olds watch hardcore porn? After all, "sex is only natural"....

[Flashbangandgone]

My emotional maturity & wellbeing are nothing short of perfectly fine.

Although she doesn't have the language skills to express it quite like you have done, my four-year also believes she is a "grown-up" emotionally. Doesn't mean she's right.

[thelittleredhen]

While he's out, remove console and games from the house and store in a "safe place" (your mum's or a friend's house) until DH agrees to play responsibly or not at all.

[ColdTeaAgain]

In my mind it's not so much an issue of potential for long term effects, although I'm pretty confident that seeing graphic violence at age 4 or 5 is hardly going to be beneficial to their development....

It's more the simple fact that a child is being exposed to material that is completely inappropriate for them to see/hear at that age. And the number of parents who are prepared to ignore this just so they can carry on gaming at their own convenience astounds me.

[CultureSucksDownWords]

You could ask him a simple question - why wouldn't your DH want to play a game that is aimed at your DSs age group, where he can enjoy all of it and there is no risk that he will be traumatised by it?

[mummymeister]

I really hope that the OP shows this thread to her partner. apart from a couple of exceptions people think that this is unacceptable.

though, having read the comments of those that don't see this sort of violence as a problem if her DH is like that then he has been completely desensitised to what is and what isn't appropriate for a 4 yr old to see and do. Its just such lazy parenting. why are adults/parent playing these games when their children are there and would probably quite like a bit of interaction.

[OohMavis]

We don't let 5yo DS play any videogames at all, despite it being a major shared hobby of mine and DH's. There's time for that when he's older, and then he'll be starting out with a SNES, just like we did.

Unrealistic, unfair? Possibly. But I've had conversations with young children who are given free reign over what games they play and how long they play them for, and the things that come out of their mouths...

[JacobFryesTopHatLackey]

Absolutely not unreasonable, op and that's me saying it as a gamer and a huge fan of the Mortal Kombat franchise

Hell would freeze over before I let my DSes watch me play. Ds1 is 4 and the only game he's seen me or dp play in front of him is batman arkham in a very very limited capacity. He likes watching the batmobile race around the tracks.

[JacobFryesTopHatLackey]

*arkham knight.

[NickiFury]

Hope he's not talking about this at school. My friend is a teacher and at her school they'd be flagging this up and keeping an extra eye on your family especially if they're hearing your child repeatedly talking about being exposed to age inappropriate content. I actually had her speak to my ex about this because he seemed to think it was ok for seven year old DS to be playing COD when he had him.

[DingleberryFinn]

Two issues here, in my view:

1. Watching violent scenes - taking a passive role: evidence is conclusive that watching violence desensitises children
   
   
2. Playing violent games - taking an active role: there aren't really any long term research studies as graphic video games are a relatively new phenomenon. But you would struggle to find a research study looking at the effects of video game violence on 4 year olds because you would never, ever get it past an ethics committee to get permission to do it.
   
   Link here to some research findings: www.apa.org/action/resources/research-in-action/protect.aspx

[mummymeister]

good point 2) dingleberry. hadn't thought of that aspect of it.

why are some parents so blinkered that they don't think there kids will talk about these games when they are at school. glad to know it isn't just the schools in my area that take this seriously.

[MetalMidget]

There isn't definitive evidence - there have been several studies that have suggested that violent games don't cause increased aggression or desensitising to violence, such as the one done by academics at Oxford University that raised aggression levels are linked to the length of time spent each day playing games, rather than the content. Academics are still pretty divided over whether there's any link.

Regardless of studies either way though, I personally don't think it's particularly good to expose young kids to graphic violence, horror and foul language just from the short term aspect of giving them nightmares! Let their imagination be fuelled by singing dinosaurs and mice wearing hats for a few years, rather than ninjas ripping out people's spines and cutting people in half!

[Piemernator]

Gamers like your DH give gamers a bad name. I game and would never have let my DC have access to stuff like this at that age.

[BarefootAcrossHotLegoPieces]

Ugh, yanbu