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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not in someone delivering a parcel

38 replies

SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 18:50

I am single and live on the ground floor of a block of flats. Got a knock on the window from a delivery man who wanted me to let him into the block to deliver a very large object. He said there was no response from the flat. I don't know the people who live there. He wanted me to let him in to let him in to deliver to their door. I felt really uncomfortable and refused. I did offer to take a card and put in their box that they tried to deliver. That was refused. There was much muttering from the man on the way back to the van.
Should I let these type of people in? It was obvious he had the parcel but I just feel a bit panicked when people ask to be let in. I feel even more panicked if I ignore then knock on the window altogether. AIBU - now my depression is kicking in to tell me I did this wrong.

OP posts:
GabiSolis · 23/02/2016 18:52

I would've done exactly the same tbh. I might've knocked on the door of the people he was delivering to, but I certainly wouldn't let someone into the building who came knocking on my window.

Redglitter · 23/02/2016 19:11

Personally I'd have let him. I wouldn't let someone in who just buzzed wanting access but for someone who's clearly making a delivery then I don't see why you wouldn't.

Vintage45 · 23/02/2016 19:13

I'd also have just let him in.

thebiscuitindustry · 23/02/2016 19:16

YANBU. You're not under any obligation to take someone else's deliveries. Yes I too have had them muttering when I've occasionally said no, but it didn't make me change my mind!

Lilmisskittykat · 23/02/2016 19:19

Id have let them in as it sounds clear it was a delivery

Joolsy · 23/02/2016 19:24

Don't understand why he wanted to come in if he'd already tried the flat but got no response! I think your request to take the card for him was reasonable

Original poster
SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 19:34

Joolsey
He either wanted me to take it (impossible as I wouldn't have wanted him bringing it in and not much space in my flat for it) or he would leave it outside their door.

OP posts:
Original poster
SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 19:40

Just read the thread title should be 'let in' - should have read through twice- this thing has really got me down, which I do know is being unreasonable but I suppose that is what depression does to you. Sad

OP posts:
Redglitter · 23/02/2016 19:41

He was probably going to leave it at the front door Joolsy That's a regular occurrence in the block I stay in. We all let deliveries in for each other Smile

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 23/02/2016 19:44

I'd have let it in so he could leave it outside their door. He'd get paid for the delivery, then, and they would have their parcel when they got back.

Don't beat yourself up, though. It's clear that you're anxious and it's not important. They'll just presume nobody was in.

Sarah715 · 23/02/2016 19:52

What if someone stole it though? What if he wasn't genuine?

What are the actual mutually agreed rules about this?

Iagreewithmrsdevere · 23/02/2016 19:55

Knocking on windows is very rude YANBU

Oysterbabe · 23/02/2016 19:58

I'd have let him in.

MrsNoraCharles · 23/02/2016 20:03

I live in a bungalow and I utterly loathe it when people knock on the window of the living room instead of walking an extra two steps to knock on the door.

It makes me jump and it feels really rude.

For that reason alone YANBU.

BillBrysonsBeard · 23/02/2016 20:06

I'd have let him in but get that your response isn't usual because of your depression, so understandable.

Redglitter · 23/02/2016 20:06

If he was a delivery man in a van with a large parcel it's probably unlikely he wasn't genuine

Several delivery companies state if you want the parcel left at your door or in a safe place it's at your own risk. I wouldn't risk it with valuable stuff but as a keen online shopper I'd be lost if they didn't just leave my stuff for me when I'm not in Smile

FoolsAndJesters · 23/02/2016 20:06

I would have let him in to leave it outside their door. It a bit irritating and if kept happening I might drop them a note and suggest they use a drop off location or pay for a timed delivery.

Outaboutnowt · 23/02/2016 20:07

Don't worry about it OP you haven't done anything wrong. Is it a large block of flats? If no one was in at all they still wouldn't have got their parcel - these things happen and unless you're at home all the time you're bound to miss the odd delivery when you order stuff.

Depending on how big the block of flats is and how big the parcel was I might have said I'd sign for it and he could leave it with me then put a note through their door saying it was at my flat. But if that's not appropriate or you wouldn't feel comfortable doing that then no harm done.

AgentProvocateur · 23/02/2016 20:14

I'd have let him in. It's really quite obstructive and unneighbourly not to. "These kind of people", aka delivery men and women, are doing a difficult, poorly paid job, and you just made their day harder.

Tiggeryoubastard · 23/02/2016 20:18

He knocked on her fucking window, Agent. He's have had more than a refusal from me if he did that! Neighbourly wouldn't have come into it.

GirlOverboard · 23/02/2016 20:18

Why the need to mention you're single and why would you feel so 'uncomfortable' and 'panicked' by a delivery man? Would you have refused access to a woman delivering a parcel?

I think YABU and should have let him in. I would have refused to take the package myself (not for safety reasons, I just think it's too much hassle) but he could have left it outside their door.

Tiggeryoubastard · 23/02/2016 20:19

And I do have sympathy for delivery people. They are badly paid and treated like shit by some of the companies they deliver for.

Onlytimewilltell · 23/02/2016 20:19

Try not to worry about it, he was annoying to knock on your window, he could have frightened an old lady for all he knows. If they are not in and he left it outside their door and another neighbour decided to steal it then you would feel responsible for letting him in. Also if it was damaged and you had signed for it then you would be responsible, it's really not worth the hassle. Don't give it anymore thought. People have to have parcels re-delivered all the time due to being out.

NerrSnerr · 23/02/2016 20:29

I would have let him in. Delivery drivers have a tough job and also it's nice for your neighbours not to have to faff with collection. We used to live in flats and neighbourly stuff like this does help.

thetroubleis · 23/02/2016 20:29

No way would I have let him in to be honest. You are not a delivery depot, nor a convenient parcel drop for people at work. If you do it once you'll be expected to do it all the time and be taking care of everyone's deliveries. I bet everyone who says 'let them in' doesn't live in the ground floor flat!

I'd put a notice on your window- 'Deliveries for this address only, please'

In short, YANBU!