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AIBU?

To not in someone delivering a parcel

38 replies

SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 18:50

I am single and live on the ground floor of a block of flats. Got a knock on the window from a delivery man who wanted me to let him into the block to deliver a very large object. He said there was no response from the flat. I don't know the people who live there. He wanted me to let him in to let him in to deliver to their door. I felt really uncomfortable and refused. I did offer to take a card and put in their box that they tried to deliver. That was refused. There was much muttering from the man on the way back to the van.
Should I let these type of people in? It was obvious he had the parcel but I just feel a bit panicked when people ask to be let in. I feel even more panicked if I ignore then knock on the window altogether. AIBU - now my depression is kicking in to tell me I did this wrong.

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Abed · 23/02/2016 20:32

I'd have let him in.

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RosyCat · 23/02/2016 20:39

I don't think it was unreasonable. Someone in our block had some things left like that stolen. Plus people on in the block think it was by someone posing as a delivery person or another visitor rather than a resident.

We have regular delivery drivers here, so I let them in if I recognise their voice or they ask me to take in a parcel for a specific flat. I don;t just buzz people in anymore (e.g. if they day they want to deliver leaflets or leave a parcel outside a door).

Sorry you feel so anxious.

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SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 20:43

GirlOverboard
Sorry about saying delivery man - it just happened to be a man, I'd have reacted in the same way to a woman. Being single is probably not relevant- maybe j should have said I live alone. I have been assessed for autism/anxiety but nothing definitely diagnosed yet - I find situations where I'm not sure how I should react hard. Sorry I should have mentioned it.

I might have been more likely to let them in if I knew the people in the flat at all.

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scarletthollie5 · 23/02/2016 20:45

With you all the way. Knocking on your window was rude and uncalled for it is his job to deliver to the addresse not to harass the neighbours . Who would have taken responsibly if the package was subsequently stolen or damaged. I appreciate that it might be difficult for you but try not to worry. Ultimately it is not your problem you have been drawn into a situation unnecessarily . Take care

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SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 20:48

NerrSnerr
My mums been nagging me to get to know the neighbours but I've avoided it, to be fair so have they - I've also never had anyone knock on my door to say hello.

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KitKat1985 · 23/02/2016 20:49

Try not to stress about it or get things out of proportion (easier said than done with depression I know). The neighbours can get their parcel another time - it'll be fine. In future I'd probably just let delivery drivers in though (as long as they had ID).

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SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 20:52

scarletthollie5
I get them knocking quite often because they can see I'm there. The car park is by my sitting room. One person didn't stop knocking when I ignored him so in the end I opened the window, so now I do it anyway.

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thebiscuitindustry · 23/02/2016 20:53

Well said thetroubleis

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SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 20:54

Thanks KitKat1985
I'll try to calm down a bit - it was just a man with a white van, not a company I know,

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ouryve · 23/02/2016 20:59

Do you have anything up at your window for a bit of privacy?

I'd have let him in so he could do his job (so long as it wasn't a massive block of flats with dodgy tenants, meaning a parcel left outside the door would be at risk) but I would be annoyed if my window was constantly knocked on because I happened to have the window that everyone could reach.

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GirlOverboard · 23/02/2016 21:16

OP no need to apologise for saying he was a man. I just think it would have been unfair to treat a delivery person as a threat JUST because they were male. But you would have felt the same way about a woman, so fair enough.

I live in a ground floor flat too and I would have been a bit freaked out by someone knocking on the window. He should have used the buzzer.

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Gabilan · 23/02/2016 21:27

Agree with PP - try not to worry about it OP. It's your choice to let him in or not. If you were anxious you might not want someone you didn't know around. You need to be a bit kind to yourself.

I'm fortunate to live in a small community so I tend to take deliveries. I wouldn't do it in a large block unless a neighbour had asked and specified me to the delivery co.

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messystressy · 23/02/2016 21:36

I live in flats, and delivery drivers are very aggressive with my neighbours accepting parcels if i am not in. It drives me crazy - I would rather they left a card, and that I re-arranged delivery rather than bully my poor elderly neighbour - or anyone else. I feel terribly guilty about it - would never be annoyed that someone didnt allow access to a random person, regardless if it means I don't get my parcel. Would much rather that everyone is safe. YANBU.