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AIBU?

To not in someone delivering a parcel

38 replies

SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 18:50

I am single and live on the ground floor of a block of flats. Got a knock on the window from a delivery man who wanted me to let him into the block to deliver a very large object. He said there was no response from the flat. I don't know the people who live there. He wanted me to let him in to let him in to deliver to their door. I felt really uncomfortable and refused. I did offer to take a card and put in their box that they tried to deliver. That was refused. There was much muttering from the man on the way back to the van.
Should I let these type of people in? It was obvious he had the parcel but I just feel a bit panicked when people ask to be let in. I feel even more panicked if I ignore then knock on the window altogether. AIBU - now my depression is kicking in to tell me I did this wrong.

OP posts:

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messystressy · 23/02/2016 21:36

I live in flats, and delivery drivers are very aggressive with my neighbours accepting parcels if i am not in. It drives me crazy - I would rather they left a card, and that I re-arranged delivery rather than bully my poor elderly neighbour - or anyone else. I feel terribly guilty about it - would never be annoyed that someone didnt allow access to a random person, regardless if it means I don't get my parcel. Would much rather that everyone is safe. YANBU.

Gabilan · 23/02/2016 21:27

Agree with PP - try not to worry about it OP. It's your choice to let him in or not. If you were anxious you might not want someone you didn't know around. You need to be a bit kind to yourself.

I'm fortunate to live in a small community so I tend to take deliveries. I wouldn't do it in a large block unless a neighbour had asked and specified me to the delivery co.

GirlOverboard · 23/02/2016 21:16

OP no need to apologise for saying he was a man. I just think it would have been unfair to treat a delivery person as a threat JUST because they were male. But you would have felt the same way about a woman, so fair enough.

I live in a ground floor flat too and I would have been a bit freaked out by someone knocking on the window. He should have used the buzzer.

ouryve · 23/02/2016 20:59

Do you have anything up at your window for a bit of privacy?

I'd have let him in so he could do his job (so long as it wasn't a massive block of flats with dodgy tenants, meaning a parcel left outside the door would be at risk) but I would be annoyed if my window was constantly knocked on because I happened to have the window that everyone could reach.

SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 20:54

Thanks KitKat1985
I'll try to calm down a bit - it was just a man with a white van, not a company I know,

OP posts:

thebiscuitindustry · 23/02/2016 20:53

Well said thetroubleis

SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 20:52

scarletthollie5
I get them knocking quite often because they can see I'm there. The car park is by my sitting room. One person didn't stop knocking when I ignored him so in the end I opened the window, so now I do it anyway.

OP posts:

KitKat1985 · 23/02/2016 20:49

Try not to stress about it or get things out of proportion (easier said than done with depression I know). The neighbours can get their parcel another time - it'll be fine. In future I'd probably just let delivery drivers in though (as long as they had ID).

SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 20:48

NerrSnerr
My mums been nagging me to get to know the neighbours but I've avoided it, to be fair so have they - I've also never had anyone knock on my door to say hello.

OP posts:

scarletthollie5 · 23/02/2016 20:45

With you all the way. Knocking on your window was rude and uncalled for it is his job to deliver to the addresse not to harass the neighbours . Who would have taken responsibly if the package was subsequently stolen or damaged. I appreciate that it might be difficult for you but try not to worry. Ultimately it is not your problem you have been drawn into a situation unnecessarily . Take care

SingaSong12 · 23/02/2016 20:43

GirlOverboard
Sorry about saying delivery man - it just happened to be a man, I'd have reacted in the same way to a woman. Being single is probably not relevant- maybe j should have said I live alone. I have been assessed for autism/anxiety but nothing definitely diagnosed yet - I find situations where I'm not sure how I should react hard. Sorry I should have mentioned it.

I might have been more likely to let them in if I knew the people in the flat at all.

OP posts:

RosyCat · 23/02/2016 20:39

I don't think it was unreasonable. Someone in our block had some things left like that stolen. Plus people on in the block think it was by someone posing as a delivery person or another visitor rather than a resident.

We have regular delivery drivers here, so I let them in if I recognise their voice or they ask me to take in a parcel for a specific flat. I don;t just buzz people in anymore (e.g. if they day they want to deliver leaflets or leave a parcel outside a door).

Sorry you feel so anxious.

Abed · 23/02/2016 20:32

I'd have let him in.

thetroubleis · 23/02/2016 20:29

No way would I have let him in to be honest. You are not a delivery depot, nor a convenient parcel drop for people at work. If you do it once you'll be expected to do it all the time and be taking care of everyone's deliveries. I bet everyone who says 'let them in' doesn't live in the ground floor flat!

I'd put a notice on your window- 'Deliveries for this address only, please'

In short, YANBU!

NerrSnerr · 23/02/2016 20:29

I would have let him in. Delivery drivers have a tough job and also it's nice for your neighbours not to have to faff with collection. We used to live in flats and neighbourly stuff like this does help.

Onlytimewilltell · 23/02/2016 20:19

Try not to worry about it, he was annoying to knock on your window, he could have frightened an old lady for all he knows. If they are not in and he left it outside their door and another neighbour decided to steal it then you would feel responsible for letting him in. Also if it was damaged and you had signed for it then you would be responsible, it's really not worth the hassle. Don't give it anymore thought. People have to have parcels re-delivered all the time due to being out.

Tiggeryoubastard · 23/02/2016 20:19

And I do have sympathy for delivery people. They are badly paid and treated like shit by some of the companies they deliver for.

GirlOverboard · 23/02/2016 20:18

Why the need to mention you're single and why would you feel so 'uncomfortable' and 'panicked' by a delivery man? Would you have refused access to a woman delivering a parcel?

I think YABU and should have let him in. I would have refused to take the package myself (not for safety reasons, I just think it's too much hassle) but he could have left it outside their door.

Tiggeryoubastard · 23/02/2016 20:18

He knocked on her fucking window, Agent. He's have had more than a refusal from me if he did that! Neighbourly wouldn't have come into it.

AgentProvocateur · 23/02/2016 20:14

I'd have let him in. It's really quite obstructive and unneighbourly not to. "These kind of people", aka delivery men and women, are doing a difficult, poorly paid job, and you just made their day harder.

Outaboutnowt · 23/02/2016 20:07

Don't worry about it OP you haven't done anything wrong. Is it a large block of flats? If no one was in at all they still wouldn't have got their parcel - these things happen and unless you're at home all the time you're bound to miss the odd delivery when you order stuff.

Depending on how big the block of flats is and how big the parcel was I might have said I'd sign for it and he could leave it with me then put a note through their door saying it was at my flat. But if that's not appropriate or you wouldn't feel comfortable doing that then no harm done.

FoolsAndJesters · 23/02/2016 20:06

I would have let him in to leave it outside their door. It a bit irritating and if kept happening I might drop them a note and suggest they use a drop off location or pay for a timed delivery.

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Redglitter · 23/02/2016 20:06

If he was a delivery man in a van with a large parcel it's probably unlikely he wasn't genuine

Several delivery companies state if you want the parcel left at your door or in a safe place it's at your own risk. I wouldn't risk it with valuable stuff but as a keen online shopper I'd be lost if they didn't just leave my stuff for me when I'm not in

BillBrysonsBeard · 23/02/2016 20:06

I'd have let him in but get that your response isn't usual because of your depression, so understandable.

MrsNoraCharles · 23/02/2016 20:03

I live in a bungalow and I utterly loathe it when people knock on the window of the living room instead of walking an extra two steps to knock on the door.

It makes me jump and it feels really rude.

For that reason alone YANBU.

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