Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

am i being paranoid

61 replies

marsia1998 · 18/02/2016 14:08

My bf and I both have friends of oposite sex and its never been a problem but a few months ago this other girl came on the scene, no one actually knew her except from him, he said she was a girl who stayed near him when they were kids and then she moved away and he met her a few months ago on a night out and decided to keep in touch.

I have met her a few times when she has came to nights out with us and our friends and she clearly does not like me, I made an effort with her to begin with but we just didn't get on so I tried to not be in her company.

He has lied about spending time with her and when I ask him about it he said its because I don't like her so he didn't want me giving him grief for seeing her. A few nights ago I found a packet of condoms with some missing that I know we didn't use, when I asked him he said he had used them while masterbating to save mess and he said that I'm paranoid. I have never ever not trusted him before but I think somethings going on with this girl but what if he's right and I am just paranoid

OP posts:
icanteven · 18/02/2016 14:11

I don't think you're being paranoid. I'm not sure any man has ever voluntarily masturbated with a condom, sorry.

SweetieDrops · 18/02/2016 14:11

The using condoms to masturbate sounds like bullshit to me, who does that? Add in the lying about seeing her and it doesn't sound like you are just being paranoid.

ManneryTowers · 18/02/2016 14:11

You aren't being paranoid. Sorry.

Pseudo341 · 18/02/2016 14:13

You don't sound remotely paranoid to me. He's lying to you about seeing her, reason enough to ditch him IMO. I have never heard of any man wearing a condom to masterbate, why would he reduce sensation rather than just catch the mess in a tissue? I don't believe it for a second. I think he's having and affair, so sorry OP.

Jibberjabberjooo · 18/02/2016 14:15

You aren't being paranoid. He's trying to make this your fault by pushing the blame on to you. You don't like her. The condom thing is crap, he's shagging her.

sweetheart · 18/02/2016 14:15

Doesn't sound like you are being paranoid. How did you find out he lied about seeing her?

Tell him you don't hate her and you don't mind them seeing each other so long as he's honest about it - then if he lies again it's pretty obvious why I'd say.

BillSykesDog · 18/02/2016 14:15

No, he's cheating. How long have you been together? Do you have children, live together? I'd dump him purely not for coming clean when he had a chance.

Original poster
marsia1998 · 18/02/2016 14:24

We don't live together or have kids we have been together just over a year.

She tagged him in a picture on facebook when he told me he was at home and when I asked him about it he said he had went out with her but thought I would have been mad so he lied and said he was at home.

OP posts:
BillSykesDog · 18/02/2016 14:28

Just dump him. He's a twat, he's cheating and lying and doing it under your nose. Cut your losses, get out. He's not worth it.

witsender · 18/02/2016 14:34

There isn't enough invested in this relationship to make all this bullshit worthwhile. Walk away and tell him he is a cheating, lying arsehole.

bumbleymummy · 18/02/2016 14:35

I wouldn't believe the condom thing either.

Katenka · 18/02/2016 14:39

I would finish with him and tell him why.

He is cheating (imo) and gas lighting you by telling you it's all your head.

Thats really really twatish behaviour.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 18/02/2016 14:42

Sure there was a very similar thread to this a while back...??

acasualobserver · 18/02/2016 14:46

+1 for not believing the condom/masturbation story.

Robotgirl · 18/02/2016 14:48

Sorry but he's full of shit...
Hope you're ok, OP

LastOneDancing · 18/02/2016 14:49

I had a couple of male friends that DH hated me seeing and would sulk. But I still told him when I was seeing them despite him being a PITA because to lie would mean I was doing something wrong that needed to be hidden. It was his problem not mine.

The condom story is bullshit IMO.

Fairenuff · 18/02/2016 14:53

If there is something that we know would upset our partner we don't do it. It's that simple.

He decided to do it and lie to you about it.

What more is there to think about. Tell him it's over because he lied to you about seeing her.

Whether he had sex with her or not is kind of beside the point. Without trust you have no relationship anyway and he's broken that trust by lying.

londonrach · 18/02/2016 14:54

Seriously did he really believe you believe him about the condoms. Making a water balloon is more believable. Hope you ok op Flowers

VimFuego101 · 18/02/2016 14:54

I knew a few men who cheated on their partners. They were the only ones who ever used the 'condoms are cleaner' excuse. Nobody does that.

amysmummy12345 · 18/02/2016 14:58

He's shagging someone that's for sure! Condom wanking my arse!

HelsBels3000 · 18/02/2016 15:04

Get away quickly and leave them to their deceit - you deserve better OP Flowers

mix56 · 18/02/2016 15:09

Sorry love, kick him to touch, he is cheating & lying.

bolleauxnouveau · 18/02/2016 15:10

You count your condoms? How anal efficient.

ImperialBlether · 18/02/2016 15:11

He's a liar and a cheat and he treats you as though you're stupid.

Tell him where to go.

loraflora · 18/02/2016 15:12

You're not being paranoid. From what you've said it's obvious he's cheating and instead of admitting when he's caught out he's trying to make you look bad. The condom excuse is ridiculous.