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Original poster

am i being paranoid

61 replies

marsia1998 · 18/02/2016 14:08

My bf and I both have friends of oposite sex and its never been a problem but a few months ago this other girl came on the scene, no one actually knew her except from him, he said she was a girl who stayed near him when they were kids and then she moved away and he met her a few months ago on a night out and decided to keep in touch.

I have met her a few times when she has came to nights out with us and our friends and she clearly does not like me, I made an effort with her to begin with but we just didn't get on so I tried to not be in her company.

He has lied about spending time with her and when I ask him about it he said its because I don't like her so he didn't want me giving him grief for seeing her. A few nights ago I found a packet of condoms with some missing that I know we didn't use, when I asked him he said he had used them while masterbating to save mess and he said that I'm paranoid. I have never ever not trusted him before but I think somethings going on with this girl but what if he's right and I am just paranoid

OP posts:
tinglewood · 18/02/2016 15:13

Imho he shouldn't have lied about even seeing her; Once the trust is gone, it's all downhill from there. Sorry :-(

spillyobeans · 18/02/2016 15:13

Yeah no man would wank with a condom. Hes cheating.

AcrossthePond55 · 18/02/2016 15:14

Asked my DH about masturbating with a condom on. He went Confused "That wouldn't be easy, would it? You'd have to use a lot of lube, I'd think. Why would someone do that? That's really stupid". When I said 'to avoid a mess' he pointed out that you'd have a mess either way. Lube or cum.

He's cheating. Dump him and be glad he was using a condom. Get and STI test anyway.

twopinkkittens · 18/02/2016 15:19

Sorry OP. You aren't being paranoid - its your gut instinct. Dump the pathetic prick and let her have him and his condoms for his posh wanks. Flowers

DaddyDr · 18/02/2016 15:28

To put it nicely, he sounds like a knobhead, that's doing the dirty on you.

I'd be interested to know where you found the condoms. If it's in his jacket or wallets etc, as opposed to the bedside/bathroom cabinet, then he's obviously not using them for a posh w4nk (w4nking with a condom, it's a thing)

StrictlyMumDancing · 18/02/2016 15:30

My x-bf used to have 'posh wanks'. But, this was something I knew about really early on and had he suddenly started developing the need for them at the same time as sneaking around with a girl I'd have been Hmm. Honestly, I think you're being taken for a mug. Flowers

gleekster · 18/02/2016 15:32

Don't demean yourself by rooting around for "evidence." Just dump him and move on. You don't need his permission or to give him a huge explanation.

You don't trust him,it's over.

jadorecakesnbiscuits · 18/02/2016 15:37

Sorry there is such thing as masturbating into a condom and it's quite common it's called a posh wank.

However given the back story I don't believe he was having a posh wank

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 18/02/2016 16:02

Just asked the bf and he agrees with jadore that a posh wank is definitely a thing.... but that no man or boy he's ever come across has ever done it - EVER. He's 32.

You're not paranoid. Don't let him convince you you are because that, my dear, is called GAS LIGHTING.

ElizabethLemon · 18/02/2016 16:08

Posh wanks are bullshit made up by men in op's partners situation, ie cheaters.

ClarenceTheLion · 18/02/2016 16:16

I'm going to join the chorus. He's not 'posh wanking'. He's fucking the girl who doesn't like you.

hellsbellsmelons · 18/02/2016 16:22

he said that I'm paranoid
They ALL say this.
Nearly every single one of the lying cheating arseholes out there.
They love throwing this line around.
He's lying, seeing another woman behind your back, cheating on you, gaslighting you and more no doubt!
Get out of this now.
You can do much better than this tosser!

bessiebumptious2 · 18/02/2016 16:29

That excuse was used on me many, many moons ago in my 20s. Found wrappers in bathroom bin and they certainly weren't "ours". So... I actually asked the girl I thought he may be cheating with (she was a vague friend of mine) and she quite openly gave me all the details. I thanked her for being straight with me and dumped the cheating bastard. Didn't see her socially again either as I changed my social circle to include nicer people.

spillyobeans · 18/02/2016 17:09

Posh wanks Grin

BillSykesDog · 18/02/2016 17:10

Well until today I always though posh wanks were something only David Beckham had.

spillyobeans · 18/02/2016 17:12

The reason the girl 'doesnt like you' is because to her your the other woman whom he wont leave for her Angry

whattodowiththepoo · 18/02/2016 17:20

You don't sound paranoid at all but the wanking with a condom thing might be true, some men have done that and many more will.

Oysterbabe · 18/02/2016 17:37

He's definitely banging her.

DoreenLethal · 18/02/2016 17:38

Who would really waste money on wanking into a condom? Unless a female is on the outside of course!

DoreenLethal · 18/02/2016 17:39

Female or male - come to think of it.

Junosmum · 18/02/2016 17:40

You aren't being paranoid.

But masturbating with a condom is called a 'posh wank' apparently (or so my male friends inform me).

TitClash · 18/02/2016 17:41

He has lied about spending time with her and when I ask him about it he said its because I don't like her so he didn't want me giving him grief for seeing her.

Only a twat would blame you for making him lie.
You can do better. Flowers

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 18/02/2016 17:57

Only a twat would blame you for making him lie

A thousand times this! Well said TitClash

AnyFucker · 18/02/2016 18:00

He is shagging her

Kick him into touch before he gets in first

MissLanaBanana · 18/02/2016 18:02

Came on to add that's called a "posh wank" around these parts but I was beaten to it! Grin

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