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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DD with DH?

55 replies

BeardedBear · 17/02/2016 15:27

I'm a SAHM so do most of the running around after the DC. DH will be home in 20 mins, we need to leave in 30 (bus) for DS to try out a new sports club. DD will have to sit and watch for an hour. He said we can discuss if I take the car if he's home in time. I'm thinking I can take the bus, he can watch DD whilst he does his exercise routine (what he always tells me to do during the week!) and then come and pick us up. Then I don't have to entertain her whilst DS (asd) is trying out a new activity. Would make my life a lot easier, but is that being lazy? It is technically my 'job' after all...

OP posts:
Katenka · 17/02/2016 15:29

Why can't you take the car with ds in and leave dd with him?

ImperialBlether · 17/02/2016 15:30

Wouldn't your life be easier still if he acted like a dad, looked after his own daughter and you drove the car there and back?

Jibberjabberjooo · 17/02/2016 15:30

Are you serious? You're asking if your dh can watch his own child?

Original poster
BeardedBear · 17/02/2016 15:30

Good point. Never thought of that, my default thinking is to avoid driving if possible Blush

OP posts:
GraciesMansion · 17/02/2016 15:30

Of course YANBU! Wait for him to come home, take the car and leave the dd. Why would you need to 'discuss' taking the car? If he's not using it because he's exercising at home and watching dd then surely it makes more sense for you to just drive yourself there and back?

MummaGiles · 17/02/2016 15:31

Leave her with him. He is her dad after all. He's not at work, he's at home. You're a sahm for him to go to work, not for him to completely abdicate his responsibilities as a parent!

Katenka · 17/02/2016 15:31

imperial why does he need to drive there and back. Op can drive I assume.

Muskateersmummy · 17/02/2016 15:32

Seriously? They are his children too. You are at sahm but they are still his children. Of course it's not unfair for him to look after his daughter for an hour

Katenka · 17/02/2016 15:32

Does he think you shouldn't be leaving dd with him

Or is this something you are putting on yourself

eatmytoes888 · 17/02/2016 15:32

Why would he not look after his daughter while you take DS to his club??? How strange. Sounds very one-sided to me. He doesn't sound like a parent but a friend popping by.

NewNameNotTheSame · 17/02/2016 15:32

It is your job? Well seeing as he is also a parent, it is his too. Leave DD, don't even ask. "I am taking DS to his activity, DD will stay here with you so she isn't bored and I can keep an eye on DS properly. Bye!"

No discussion needed. Him having paid work does not mean he gets to avoid childcare.

MissFlight · 17/02/2016 15:34

It's not just your job! You're both parents Confused

luckiestgirlintheworld · 17/02/2016 15:36

Unless I'm missing something, this is seriously depressing. I'm a SAHM too but that doesn't mean DH shouldn't do any parenting!
I'm currently in a cafe eating cake while DH is with both DS's at home. He's their dad, so it's his job too.

Birdsgottafly · 17/02/2016 15:36

Just because you are a SAHM doesn't mean that the children are 'technically your job', when the other Parent is availabile, stop thinking like that.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 17/02/2016 15:39

"He said we can discuss if I take the car if he's home in time."

What's that supposed to mean? Surely he meant, "I'll try and get back in time so you can have the car rather than getting the bus"....

Waltermittythesequel · 17/02/2016 15:40

Wtf?

It's his job, too. It's parenting. Hmm

Goingtobeawesome · 17/02/2016 15:41

It seems your husband thinks he's your boss. And superior.

witsender · 17/02/2016 15:42

Haha! The child would be handed to Dh with a kiss and a cuddle while I legged it out tbh. No discussion, no asking etc. Just 'tagging in'.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 17/02/2016 15:46

What?
It's also his job when he's not at work. It's only your job when he's not there.

diddl · 17/02/2016 15:47

Or your husband can take his son & you stay with daughter?

YouSaffBridge · 17/02/2016 15:49

Fine not to want to drive yourself but... why can't he parent his child?

There has to be a much bigger story here, OP. As in, this doesn't sound like your real problem?

Guitargirl · 17/02/2016 15:50

Eh?

You have come on MN to ask whether you can leave your daughter with her father while you take your other child somewhere?!?

bloodyteenagers · 17/02/2016 15:52

Looking after they children is your job?
This makes no sense to me. They have two parents who should share full responsibility for any children.

diddl · 17/02/2016 15:52

It's also not just about making things easier for you-nothing wrong with that anyway, but what would your daughter prefer?

I mean if there is a parent home, who takes both kids if they need only take one?

BabyGanoush · 17/02/2016 15:58

yanbu

and hang around on MN, you may learn a few things Wink

Grin

Yes, a dad can look after a child, some working dads even take a kid to sports club themselves...