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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Our dog bit me :(

341 replies

Jellymuffin · 14/02/2016 08:57

Yesterday our dog bit my face, completely unprovoked though he had got out unknown to us and come back in so could have been stressed. We have a toddler who is typical tough and tumble. The dog and DS get on reasonably well but dog has always been nervous around him. The dog is 10 and my husband is adamant he has to go :( I understand why but feel so terrible about losing a member of the family. He really is a quiet and sweet little dog and this was massively out of character for him. AIBU to want to keep him when he is a potential danger to my beautiful child?

OP posts:
StickyToffeePuddingAndCustard · 14/02/2016 09:02

YANBU to want to keep him.

YWBU to keep him while you have a toddler in the house.

Sorry Flowers

FisherQueen · 14/02/2016 09:02

How bad was the bite and how able are you to keep the dog and your son separate if you need to? What was the chain if events that led to him getting out, how did you get him back and what happened leading up to the bite?

If you do decide to keep him the first thing you need is a full vet check to rule out pain, illness, failing eye sight or canine cognitive disorder. Then you need to contact a reputable behaviourist to help you come up with either a treatment or management plan.

I am an animal behaviourist - where in the country are you (if you are in the UK) as I should be able to recommend someone.

teeththief · 14/02/2016 09:03

I agree with stickytoffee

pictish · 14/02/2016 09:03

Yes you are being very unreasonable. Nervous dogs are the most dangerous dogs and you say yourself your dog is nervous around your toddler. It is quite likely to end in disaster - a disaster that you knowingly allowed to happen. Could you live with yourself after that?

I had to rehome our dog after he snapped at dd (unprovoked) when she was a baby. I knew I'd never be able to leave them alone together again, and supervising every second of every minute of every day is unrealistic.

It was sad, but he was a nervous dog too, and had he taken a chunk out of my daughter's face, having been given fair warning (like you have been), it would be my fault.

Fabellini · 14/02/2016 09:04

My dog bit me on the nose once. It turned out he had an infection and was a bit poorly, which is why he had acted so out of character. Would your dh consider taking your dog to get checked over before making any final decisions?

pictish · 14/02/2016 09:04

P.s He was rehomed with my mil, who has a fantastic relationship with him.

ToastDemon · 14/02/2016 09:05

I'd guess that at 10 years old and now with a history of biting, PTS would be the only realistic option if you didn't keep him.

Tangfastics · 14/02/2016 09:05

More detail please. What were the circumstances leading to this? How did it come about that he could reach your face?

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 14/02/2016 09:05

You don't get many warnings with animals, you've been given a big one. Even if the dog is in pain, you state it is always nervous around your child. You're doing both dog and child a disservice if you expect them to continue living together.

Janus · 14/02/2016 09:05

It well may be stressed and that caused it and it will never happen again or it could do it again tomorrow to your toddler. You just don't know. Sorry but it would have to go or try to rehome with someone who doesn't have children? I rescued a dog last year and I knew within a few days that it had issues with our loud toddler so, although it was awful, it had to go back. I tried for about 2 days to convince myself we could keep them in separate rooms etc but you can't and I was a nervous wreck. You just can't take the risk. Some dog homes may rehome if you are honest about the situation and they see it was just stressed and may be a one off. Try ringing one and see what they say?

CooPie10 · 14/02/2016 09:06

If it was your toddler instead of you what would you do? I agree with your Dh.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 14/02/2016 09:07

Your dh is right, your dd is more important than the dog and you have to put her first.

Hope your bite isn't too severe , take care.

Original poster
Jellymuffin · 14/02/2016 09:08

I let him out the back door to go in the garden, he went out the side gate. We assume the window cleaners didn't shut it properly. He went over the road to the park, wandered around a bit, tried to bite a lady who picked him up to bring him home then ran back to our back door to be let in as if nothing had happened. Only found out 10 minutes later when the lady came to the door and told us. I think he thought he was in trouble but we were so relieved I cussed him and put my face near him and he just went for me. He cut my lip and nose, lots of blood but not as bad as it first looked. We are being very careful to keep DS and dog apart while we work out what to do :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Jellymuffin · 14/02/2016 09:09

Gosh, fussed not cussed!!!

OP posts:
Tangfastics · 14/02/2016 09:13

Was going to ask you to clarify that!

Sounds like it was out of sorts. Is the dog aggressive in any other way?

IASM · 14/02/2016 09:16

I'm so sorry OP, must have been a shock for you and a very difficult decision to make. However, I'm sure you know really that your dog cannot stay. My sister was bitten as a toddler by my grandmother's dog, she's still scarred and was extremely lucky not to lose an eye. You'd never forgive yourself. Unmumsnetty hugs to you though, both for your injury and for future choices.

Tangfastics · 14/02/2016 09:16

However you do have a toddler to consider.

Can you find a trainer/behaviourist nearby?

springscoming · 14/02/2016 09:17

Tried to bite a woman in the park and then bit you hard enough to cause injury? PTS is the best option and I wouldn't delay either.

pictish · 14/02/2016 09:18

Oh OP I do feel for you. My post down there reads as being harsh, but I was trying to get all the info in without rambling.

I know exactly how you feel about this as I went through it too. I cried many tears and felt dreadful guilt over rehoming him, but the worst case scenario alternative was just too scary to contemplate.

I was fortunate as my mil stepped forward to take over the care of the dog. Ds2 and dd (very close in age) came along after the dog was there and I just don't think he was a dog compatible with little children. Ds1 was older when we got the dog so less worrying for the dog to deal with.

He's still a lovely dog but not a family dog.

0hCrepe · 14/02/2016 09:21

So sad for you but I agree he's not safe around an unpredictable toddler. He bit twice in a short space of time; has he bitten before?

RedFlagsOnTheRight · 14/02/2016 09:22

Get him PTS. He's a danger to your DS and others. What if he escaped again and bit a child?

StableYard · 14/02/2016 09:24

Oh dear Sad

So he actually went for two people. It does sound like he is not suitable for your home any-more. Also not sure what his re-homing chances would be with that history either.

As much as it is awful to have to choose - your son and his safety is priority, but you know that Flowers

Have you had your wounds cleaned as they can get infected quite quickly.

IguanaTail · 14/02/2016 09:26

If he tried to bite the lady that wanted to take him back and then actually bit you enough to draw blood, you know he can't stay.

Toddlers can be annoying and unpredictable with dogs. Your dog reacts badly when adults aren't being unpredictable or annoying.

Your priority is to safeguard your child so the dog needs to go. It's very sad I agree but you have no choice.

Collaborate · 14/02/2016 09:27

If you want to try and avoid having him PTS then you need to get a behaviourist in quickly. Join the Sally Bradbury Facebook group and they'll recommend a good one for you.

I have to say though that to put your face close to him while you're telling him off means that he wasn't unprovoked. The danger with a toddler is that they'll do something to provoke the dog unwittingly.

catsinthecraddle · 14/02/2016 09:27

I am really sorry, but the dog has bitten you, and on the face! You cannot take the risk of him biting your child. I have dogs and children, so I really sympathise, but the only reality here is that he will bite your kid, and it will be your fault. Please act before something really bad happens.

I do hope your injury is not too bad, and out of curiosity, what breed of dog is it?