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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Our dog bit me :(

341 replies

Jellymuffin · 14/02/2016 08:57

Yesterday our dog bit my face, completely unprovoked though he had got out unknown to us and come back in so could have been stressed. We have a toddler who is typical tough and tumble. The dog and DS get on reasonably well but dog has always been nervous around him. The dog is 10 and my husband is adamant he has to go :( I understand why but feel so terrible about losing a member of the family. He really is a quiet and sweet little dog and this was massively out of character for him. AIBU to want to keep him when he is a potential danger to my beautiful child?

OP posts:
midnightlurker · 14/02/2016 10:04

Is he in pain? That will cause unpredictable behaviour. Arthritis, a tumour somewhere you don't know about?

JolseBaby · 14/02/2016 10:04

I would PTS - and I say that as a dog owner, so I know how hard it is.

If this was genuinely a one-off and had been provoked - and you had a family member or friend who could step in - then I would try and re-home.

HOWEVER...

It wasn't provoked and he'd tried to bite someone else whilst he was out. Those are two huge red flags. Given your dog's age, if you take him to a rescue there is virtually zero chance of him being rehomed just due to his age. Once you factor in the aggression, I think it's highly unlikely anyone will take him. I do a lot of voluntary work for a local rescue and we have a huge problem trying to rehome any dog over the age of 6 - and that's without any behavioural issues. He wouldn't be able to go to anyone with children and that severely limits the amount of people who could take him on.

Dogs who have been in a home environment all their lives often struggle in a rescue; the noise, the anonymity, the other dogs, no sofa or familiar owner. Given his age I really think the kindest thing you can do is PTS. Take him to the vet, give him a cuddle and let him go.

UmbongoUnchained · 14/02/2016 10:05

Yep put it down. Can't believe people are even considering keeping it.

bumbleymummy · 14/02/2016 10:06

Thanks for you OP

toastyarmadillo · 14/02/2016 10:09

I had to have my bitch pts a few years back she bit a family member totally unprovoked, totally out if character as well. Sadly when I contacted the rescues I was advised to pts as they would not be able to re home her. I even tried the breed specific rescue and was recommended to pts. It's never worth the risk imo. I appreciate it's an awful decision to reach but I was comforted know it was me with her at the end, not some stranger in a rescue centre.

Original poster
Jellymuffin · 14/02/2016 10:10

He's a chihuahua by the way for those who wanted to know x

OP posts:
MattDillonsPants · 14/02/2016 10:11

OP my DH's old dog nipped our DD and he went straight to live with MIL. We blamed ourselves...he was old and arthritic and we let DD lean on him....he didn't break the skin but we realised that he was too old to be with a toddler. That was 10 years ago.

caitlinohara · 14/02/2016 10:11

What JolseBaby said. DO NOT keep the dog, that's unquestionable. Whether you choose to rehome is another matter but it's whether you could get a rescue to take him at short notice. I honestly think the kindest thing to do would be to PTS. Put your family first.

HazelBite · 14/02/2016 10:12

Do take the dog to the vets first, he/she could have some sort of injury illness. Different I know but i had a cat who went for me out of the blue when I cuddled her, she had a nasty injury that I couldn't see because of her fur. However if there is nothing physically amiss at 10 there is very little option other than to PTS.

JolseBaby · 14/02/2016 10:12

Yep put it down. Can't believe people are even considering keeping it

If you've had a pet for a long, long time, you are emotionally attached to them and they are a member of your family. If they have never done this before then it's so hard to try and detach and view the situation objectively.

PTS is the right thing to do but my heart goes out to you OP. I know how hard it is.

KitKat1985 · 14/02/2016 10:13

Jelly I agree with PP in saying it's worth getting the dog checked out to make sure there is nothing obvious physical going on before you make a final decision, especially if it's never been aggressive before. Also the vet can give you some advice. However if the dog tried to bite a stranger yesterday, and actually bit you yesterday when you were affectionate towards it, it's not sounding very hopeful, especially as you live in a house with a toddler. What kind of dog is it out of interest? Assuming no obvious physical cause, I agree that having the dog PTS is probably kinder than trying to re-home, as an old dog with a history of biting is unlikely to be re-homed, and the whole process would be very distressing for it. Sorry. Flowers

TawnyGrisette · 14/02/2016 10:14

we are trying to rehome him. He really is a sweet kind little dog and deserves to spend the rest of his life not being harangued by a well meaning toddler.

You shouldn't be 'trying to rehome him' at this point - he's just bitten you on the face and tried to bite another person. How do you think he would react to the stress, fear and heartbreak of being parted from his family at the age of ten? Hmm You need to have him seen by a vet first thing tomorrow morning to exclude any medical reason for this behaviour. If he's not in pain/ill, then you can look at rehoming/having him put down. I think having him put down is kinder and safer, under the circumstances.

You've given very little information in your posts.
What breed is he?
Has he ever bitten or snapped before?
Does he growl/warn that he is stressed in any other ways and have you ever punished him for doing so?
Are you aware of his stress/calming signals?
Why are you not preventing your toddler from haranguing him?

Contraryish · 14/02/2016 10:16

Our dog bit me last year. He bit me on the lip so badly I needed eight stitches under general anaesthetic. It was partly my fault in that I put my face near to him when he was sleepy, he was spooked and simply snapped without warning.

We couldn't keep him, although it wasn't really his fault, it could have been one of our children next time, or one of their friends, and there would have been a next time. He had bitten my husband before, but he was still a pup then and we thought we could handle it.

We were lucky to find a couple with a small-holding and no children and he went to live with them. Last we heard he was happy. He was really the loveliest dog.

We told the people he went to everything. They saw my face. They were experienced dog owners and were confident they could give him a happy home.

We spoke to the Dogs Trust, they would not take him because he had bitten. I fear this means that many owners are dishonest about their reasons for rehoming and the rehoming centres are being filled with biters and aggressive dogs.

OP, it's a horrible decision to have to make, you have my sympathies.

JolseBaby · 14/02/2016 10:17

Tawny OP has now said that she is going to PTS if you read the rest of the thread

MrsJayy · 14/02/2016 10:19

Thats sad but he bit in the space of a few minutes he was obviously stressed btw dogs dont think they are going to be in trouble like you thought, anyway I do think he is old cranky and needs to go, we have a fearful nervous dog its so stressful and we are an all adult household you have a small child and an elderly dog I really feel for you speak to your vet but I do think your dog has reached the end of its tether

Aridane · 14/02/2016 10:19

Get the dog checked out for physical causes, as other PP have said. If none yes, YWBU to keep - and PTS seems the only realistic option

Aridane · 14/02/2016 10:20

Get the dog checked out for physical causes, as other PP have said. If none yes, YWBU to keep - and PTS seems the only realistic option

Runningbutnotscared · 14/02/2016 10:20

Jeese - your going to pts?
A ten year old dog could have four or five more happy years with someone if you have the time, patience and care to sort it out.

Spend some money, get your dog checked by a vet. You took the dog on, it's your responsibility to rehome it.

The random women in the park SHOULD NOT HAVE PICKED YOUR DOG UP. It's a dog, albeit small one, and it was probably scared. I can't stand people who don't treat dogs with respect. She was well meaning but stupid.

There may be some lovely old people who would like a small older dog to care for. Especially if you offered to continue paying vets bills.

Actually put some work in and don't just drop the dog off at the pets trust, don't Pts. What lesson are you teaching your child? When it's gets difficult just run away?

bimandbam · 14/02/2016 10:25

Poor you OP.

I know how you feel. I have a whippet bitch and she snapped at my nephew a few months ago. I was away at the time (long story) but got to why it had happened. I will now never allow her to be placed in that situation again. And I manage to do that even though I have my own toddler.

This sounds a bit different though. I can understand him snapping at the stranger. He is a small dog, out on his own and probably frightened. She swoops over him and picks him up. I can sort of understand him snaping at you too. But would have expected a warning first.

Is there anyway of contacting the breed society? Sometimes they might have a list of approved people waiting for a rescue. Chuhahas (sp sorry) aren't the easiest of dogs I don't think and you can't be the only person to struggle.

Failing that then pts really is the kindest option. He has no concept of tomorrow and really won't know anything at all. Tough for you but the kindest thing for many animals especially when they are approaching old age. I have a pony who won't ever.leave me alive. Because I could never guarantee that she won't be hungry, cold or in pain.

Breadandwine · 14/02/2016 10:27

LTB!

Dotandethel · 14/02/2016 10:30

If a stranger tried to pick you up in the park I'm sure you'd retaliate. People are being very quick here with the pts option. Obviously you can't keep him with a child but you wouldn't be unreasonable to visit the vets first and have him checked out and possibly rehome without children and the new owner knowing his history. I really feel for you, it's not as simple as chucking him in the car and pts when you've had him for 10 years x

NeedACleverNN · 14/02/2016 10:30

I wouldn't pts. It obviously sounds like the dog was very frightened and stressed and it lashed out (flight or fight).

Take him to the vet for a full check up. There could be something bothering him.

He could be rehomed as long as you are truthful.
I.e "must go to a home with no children as he has been known to bite"

All these people screaming for him to be pts would have hated my nan. My sister when she was a toddler was climbing all over her collie.
The collie was growling but my sister wasn't listening and unfortunately my nan didn't react in time to pull my sister off the dog. The dog bit my sister on the face and she has a little scar under her lip. Was the dog pts? No. It was my sisters fault for climbing on her and my nana fault for not stopping it

BastardGoDarkly · 14/02/2016 10:31

It really does sound like your dog's in some kind of pain?

Will you get him thoroughly checked by the vet before you get him pts?

I'm so sorry, this must be awful for you Flowers

EweAreHere · 14/02/2016 10:31

Jelly, it's the right decision. If he's starting to bite, he can't be that happy either.

I hope the rest of your life starts looking up. Sounds like everything is hitting you at once. Hang in there. xx

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 14/02/2016 10:32

Unless the OP knows someone personally who is willing to take the dog on then rehoming is quite unrealistic. Ime rescues won't touch with a bargepole.

Other option is to advertise him yourself but you run the risk of someone promising him a good home when actually they'll use him as a bait dog. Even if you did a home check it's still a risk.