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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to finish my degree?

95 replies

CarbonEmittingPenguin · 23/01/2016 19:18

I've had a couple threads in Chat about my Master's degree but the way I'm now is exhausted and feel like I can't go on.

I handed in my dissertation last week but feel like it's below par so might maybe just scrape a pass but nothing spectacular. I'm now about to finish the MA as my final report and project is due for Monday and I honestly just can't be bothered anymore. At least I tried. I'm ready to accept a fail. I just don't see how I can pass and tbh I gave it a good shot but now willing to concede defeat. Sorry I'm rambling but I've just had it and sick of it.

OP posts:

tigermoll · 23/01/2016 19:25

Please do bother! Come on, you're a week from finishing -- you've done the work, paid the fees (presumably, or got assistance or something) and I'm sure it's not as bad as you think.

Is your only reason for not wanting to go on that you have convinced yourself you will fail?? If so, that is a LAME reason for quitting -- "oh, I assumed I'd fail so I gave up"?? You'd rather not try at all than try and fail?? Pull yourself together, Penguin!

If there are other reasons that you don't feel like you can give it a shot right now (bereavement, MH issues, other factors, etc), then can you apply for an extension to give you a bit more time?

apricotdanish · 23/01/2016 19:27

Oh, don't be disheartened. It may be because you're so tired and stressed that you're overthinking things and that the work you've handed in is better than you've judged it to be. You're in the last stretch now and you still have a day to iron out some things you're not happy with in your final work. Just focus on that, hand in your work on Monday and if you have the time come home and sleep!

magpie17 · 23/01/2016 19:28

Keep going! I HATED my masters from start to finish but I'm so glad I stuck it out. I know how you feel though but you are so close to the end, don't give up now.

AnthonyBlanche · 23/01/2016 19:35

Don't give up pengiun! You are so near to the end it would be a terrible shame not to dig deep and finish. studying for a degree can be a bit of a slog, but imagine the sense of achievement you will feel when finished and the future regrets if you don't.

I spent 5 years doing degree and professional postgrad qualification, at the end of it all I was sick of studying, essays and exams but it did make me feel I had achieved something worthwhile.

CalleighDoodle · 23/01/2016 20:06

You are so close!!!! Give it one last umph!

EBearhug · 23/01/2016 20:08

Do keep going - you're so close! I hated the last couple of months of my masters, but I just put my head down and slogged through it - I'd have hated myself if I hadn't.

Original poster

CarbonEmittingPenguin · 23/01/2016 21:16

How do I get that last 'umph'? That last push?

Tbh I'd rather write an e-mail to my course leader and thank her for all her support but this is just not for me. I'm not good at this sort of thing!

I kind of just drifted at Bachelor's level thus I passed as that was all I was doing and all I was responsible for so it was fine. But now I've just had it. I will have to stay awake until Monday afternoon for any chance to pass. I quit smoking but started again 3 weeks ago! I just think maybe there is power in admitting when something is just not for you and walking away?

OP posts:

Melonaire · 23/01/2016 21:21

You've gotten this far. You've nearly done it! Please don't quit. Get through the next two days and you can at least say you tried your best. That's something to be proud of whatever mark you get.

DoctorDoctor · 23/01/2016 21:23

You've done an awful lot of it for something that's 'just not for you'. Would it really make much difference to do three more days of it and then quit forever? I think there would be more power in being able to say 'I realised by the end it wasn't really the thing for me, but I saw it through anyway'.

The other option is to ask for an extension on whatever grounds you can. If I were your tutor (and I do teach Masters courses) I would be inclined to give one now, with you being so close, as long as you weren't taking the piss and asking for loads more time.

magpie17 · 23/01/2016 21:24

I agree that accepting something isn't right for you and walking away can be often be the right, if tough, thing to do. However, in this situation I find it hard to understand how you have got this far if the masters is just not 'for you', how did you not come to that conclusion sooner? I'm not being harsh but what I mean is, there must have been something which has made you stick it out this far? Can you focus on that and dig deep?

For me, about a month in I knew my masters was not for me. Literally the only thing that kept me going was that I couldn't be arsed getting a job! I focuses on that when I found the masters tough.

As for having to stay up til Monday, I feel your pain (been there) but my masters was over 10 years ago and those long long nights are barely in my memory. You might need to work hard but it's only a few days and afterwards it's over and you never have to think about it again.

I mean that by the way, I can't even remember what my dissertation was about, genuinely. But I can put that masters in my CV for the rest of my life

Good luck, just get your head around the fact that you are going to have very little sleep and it's for something you don't even like, focus on that CV and all the work you will be throwing away if you give up now.

AnthonyBlanche · 23/01/2016 21:25

Penguin you can do it and it will be worth the effort. Just think what a waste of your time it will have been to get so far and then give up. All those hours studying and writing essays all for nothing!

Focus on how good you will feel and the sense of achievement you will have when you finish. Think of some treat to reward yourself with once you've reached your goal. Doesn't have to be anything that costs much money - could be a day where you don't get up till lunchtime.

Also, presumably you did the masters to enhance career prospects? Won't look good on cv if you have to say you couldn't be bothered to finish.

AlwaysStarving · 23/01/2016 21:30

I can relate slightly only I am not doing my masters but finishing my undergrad by hopefully submitting my dissertation by Friday. I have 2 kids to look after 3 and 10months and I honestly feel like this dissertation is the biggest pile of shite I have written and I am going to disappoint my supervisor and myself. I would have been capable of a first but never put myself first so hey ho just a certificate saying I ave a degree will do.I also feel the pain of staying up until stupid oclock but come on its only for a few more days and hen it is handed in go to bed and don't get back up! you can do OP...report back when you have finished x

RevoltingPeasant · 23/01/2016 21:32

OP you have dissertationitis!

Many people feel burnt out at the end of their MA. It's a tough thing to complete. It's common to feel that you don't know why in hell you ever started.

But you can do it. It's moments like this, where you pull yourself together for one last push, that really are character building. When you do something like this, it's a gift to yourself. It makes you realise you can rely on yourself to meet deadlines and get through shit. That is a very valuable confidence to have in yourself.

Original poster

CarbonEmittingPenguin · 23/01/2016 21:43

Thank you all for your replies. I see that I should just do it. I do feel defeated as my dissertation might as well have been written by a 5 yr old with a crayon and an idea.

I'll try and continue. I feel like shit, I look like shit.

OP posts:

ElviraCondomine · 23/01/2016 21:48

Do it!
I did my masters part time while working. I got married and had a baby and moved house as well - which was all fine. What wasn't fine was discovering that the final hand in date for my dissertation had been moved from late May to early April (this was in the days when you didn't even get a university email address as standard - I'd simply missed the information and nobody thought to update me.)

I cried. I broke my heart. That seven weeks was absolutely crucial. I couldn't see a way through it. But my DM and my DH pointed out that I'd done all the modules and this was all that was left, and I'd regret not finishing it.

Hated it. Read law reports and public enquiry reports to DD1 as bedtime reading to try and fit more work in. Cried a lot. Was seriously surprised DH didn't leave at one point.

Am so glad I stuck it out now. Nobody ever asks me about the grade (although in fact I did better than I was expecting, so wouldn't mind telling them!) but the fact it's there on the CV is valuable. It says I'm bloody minded and can multi task if nothing else!

Get in some decent chocolate, clear your desk of everything, turn off your phone and give it everything you've got. You've done most of it. Keep going!

Akire · 23/01/2016 21:50

You feel slightly more hopefully after some sleep, I struggled through illness at the end of my degree all done at home via OU so very similar. Sometimes would be overwhelming but after decent sleep feel like had one more push.

iciclewinter · 23/01/2016 21:57

Keep going Penguin!

MelindaMay · 23/01/2016 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

CarbonEmittingPenguin · 23/01/2016 22:37

MelindaMay Thanks. I'd like something like that but I doubt anyone on MN would really care . I'm just so stressed and tired.

OP posts:

Original poster

CarbonEmittingPenguin · 23/01/2016 22:38

It's the last hurdle and I'm sat here having a cup of tea! FFS!!!

OP posts:

MelindaMay · 23/01/2016 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

CarbonEmittingPenguin · 23/01/2016 22:46

MelindaMay MN has been lovely listening to my MA woes. I really really really wish I hadn't done this course! It's nearly pushed me over the edge!

I have a report and project due for Monday. Project is done but now need to write the fucking report! Glutton for punishment me! And I'd also quit smoking prior to this for fuck sake.

OP posts:

MelindaMay · 23/01/2016 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smokedkipper · 23/01/2016 22:50

penguine I virtually NEVER post but I've been where you are , keep going , please keep going.

im so glad I kept going at my phd , id have regretted it for ever if I'd not finished
(much as I wanted to burn thEd fu**g thing on an almost hourly basis )

Original poster

CarbonEmittingPenguin · 23/01/2016 22:50

And I also suffer from depression and anxiety so I just currently hate this. I don't want you all to get out your small violins. I know I sound pathetic. I just wanted a bit of a rant and listening ear. Thank you.

OP posts:

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