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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is an unimaginative date idea?!

65 replies

JediHall · 17/01/2016 19:42

I have just came back from a date & now feeling a bit deflated! We went out for a late lunch and then (because they're both students and poor) he suggested going back to his parents house to watch bloody tv :s they weren't in thank fuck. I didn't know what to say so just agreed even though I could just predict it was going to be awkward. Reader, it was.

Neither of us want a hookup so I'm positive it wasn't that. Plus if you're after sex you would phrase it in a different way, tv wouldn't be part of the agenda Wink We also only met for the first time last week so still in the really early stages. it was really awkward and killed the vibe completely. Sorry just a rant.

OP posts:
Trills · 17/01/2016 19:46

Does he live with his parents? Are you both quite young?

Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 19:47

We're not that young, both 22 but he lives in his family home on weekends back from university. Normally lives in university city though. It was so awkward Confused

OP posts:
hesterton · 17/01/2016 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

19lottie82 · 17/01/2016 19:51

If you were really Into each other Then it wouldn't have been awkward. Maybe he was skint, and it's hardly weather for walking about outside / sitting in the park all day.

Did you suggest any alternatives?

I'm guessing he thought it would be somewhere you could have a chat, in the warmth and relax.

As I said, if you really liked him I don't think it would have mattered!

Trills · 17/01/2016 19:52

On a date I would expect to spend time alone together, and in an environment when we could interact.

Watching TV with parents is neither of those things.

TamaraLamara · 17/01/2016 19:53

Aw, poor bloke was probably nervous as hell. Did you have any other, less awkward suggestions? What would you have preferred to do? I'll bet it wasn't his ideal choice of date venue/activity, but he was probably clutching at straws, and if you had no other economic suggestions between you then that's what you both got stuck with.

19lottie82 · 17/01/2016 19:53

And I'm guessing he knew his parents wouldn't be in? You sound a bit precious. If it happened three times in a row fair enough, but as a one off?

CombineBananaFister · 17/01/2016 19:53

Did he say 'do you wona come back and watch t.v.?' or did he say 'do you wona watch Netflix and chill?' My prehistoric self has learnt recently that this specific phrase is akin to 'come back to mine for coffee, wink, wink' according to my younger colleagues
God I'd have no idea how to date now. Does sound good to me though, for a date, but I love a good boxset binge Grin

Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 19:53

No hesterton not at all. It just feel uncomfortably coupley when I have known the guy all of 5 hours really Confused

I'm just seeking other perspectives. I've been on a fair few dates and most of them have been getting food/drinks/that kind of thing. Also had ONS and there's a clear delineation there.

It felt strange to be cuddled up on the sofa to someone I had virtually just met, too intimate somehow?

OP posts:
Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 19:55

Lots of x posts

I like him and I'm not precious! Just felt it was an awkward environment to chat and fully relax when you're still getting to know each other. I suggested coffee or pub but was vetoed!

OP posts:
sleepyhead · 17/01/2016 19:56

Wot combine said.

"Netflix and chill" is a euphamism for sex now. Apparently.

SaucyJack · 17/01/2016 19:56

Did you offer to stand him a round in a pub?

Kinda agree with Lottie tho. I think if you'd liked him it wouldn't have mattered how unimaginative the date was.

Are you generally nervous about going to strange people's houses?

Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 19:57

Yeah it is a euphemism but it wasn't in this case - im certain Smile

OP posts:
TamaraLamara · 17/01/2016 19:57

most of them have been getting food/drinks/that kind of thing

You went for lunch, so you did do 'that kind of thing'.

I thought you said he suggested tv because you were both skint? So that kind of limited your options. Or were you hoping he'd pay for drinks or alternate activities? And what alternatives did you suggest? Any art galleries/museums nearby you could have wandered around?

Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 19:58

I did offer to buy him a round Saucy!

Ok perhaps IABU. I do like him but as mentioned literally have known him for a few hours so far. Would you lot all be comfortable doing that with a relative (albeit attractive) stranger? I felt so uncomfortable, nothing to do with him, just the situation

OP posts:
Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 20:00

God no I wasn't expecting him to pay. Yeah a walk or a coffee or whatever. It was literally the second time we have ever ever met. Introduced through friends so we didn't know each other before last Thursday!

OP posts:
TamaraLamara · 17/01/2016 20:01

TBH, if someone 'vetoed' me on a first date, I'd not be racing head first towards a second date!

RudeElf · 17/01/2016 20:01

Well what imaginative things did you suggest?

Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 20:01

Im explaining this badly... I would have been just as happy to have a long lunch and leave it there... Obviously with plans to meet again

I just think that when you first know someone it is a bit uncomfortable to snuggle up with them to watch Tv. I don't know. Perhaps me being silly

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 17/01/2016 20:02

Why didn't you just suggest an alternative if you weren't that keen? Confused

Trills · 17/01/2016 20:04

I just think that when you first know someone it is a bit uncomfortable to snuggle up with them to watch Tv

I agree. Wouldn't want to do this until we'd been on quite a few dates.

Helmetbymidnight · 17/01/2016 20:05

It wouldn't be for me.

I wouldn't look at all the fellas on online dating who put ideal date - snuggle up and watch TV.

I mean, I do all that now, it's just, when you're dating you need some Va va voom.

Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 20:08

Thanks trills and helmet

That's exactly it, I have no problem with doing that with someone I know. It just seems like a very coupley thing to do and not really that appropriate when you're getting to know someone

He didn't veto me as such, we were just thinking of what to do next - I suggested pub, coffee etc (said id pay) and he was like, oh just come to mine, we can get a drink and it's free. Sweet really and I could see his logic, I just found the actual sat in silence watching a movie bit so awkward!

OP posts:
BrandNewAndImproved · 17/01/2016 20:15

If you felt uncomfortable cuddling up to him then he isn't the one for you. If you had butterflies over him, couldn't take your eyes off of him then you would of found it perfect to be cuddling up all afternoon.

Gwenhwyfar · 17/01/2016 20:16

"he was like, oh just come to mine, we can get a drink and it's free"

Why didn't you just say no and leave it at that? And why did you snuggle up with him if you didn't want to?

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