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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is an unimaginative date idea?!

65 replies

JediHall · 17/01/2016 19:42

I have just came back from a date & now feeling a bit deflated! We went out for a late lunch and then (because they're both students and poor) he suggested going back to his parents house to watch bloody tv :s they weren't in thank fuck. I didn't know what to say so just agreed even though I could just predict it was going to be awkward. Reader, it was.

Neither of us want a hookup so I'm positive it wasn't that. Plus if you're after sex you would phrase it in a different way, tv wouldn't be part of the agenda Wink We also only met for the first time last week so still in the really early stages. it was really awkward and killed the vibe completely. Sorry just a rant.

OP posts:
RudeElf · 17/01/2016 20:18

Why didn't you just say no and leave it at that? And why did you snuggle up with him if you didn't want to?

This! If you were happy to end the date at the lunch then why didnt you?

Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 20:18

You think brandnew? Even though we barely know each other? Genuinely interested. Even with my previous boyfriends I wouldn't have felt comfortable getting intimate and holding hands etc (which IMO is somehow different from kissing) on the second date. Esp if we didn't know each other beforehand

OP posts:
Gobbolino6 · 17/01/2016 20:21

The world must have changed. When I were a lass (I'm only 34 now), we didn't go on dates as students. No one had the cash or the inclination.

ClashCityRocker · 17/01/2016 20:24

I would feel uncomfortable snuggling up to anyone at their house after meeting them a few hours earlier. Yes, I think it was odd to suggest if this was the first time you've ever met him.

discounts drunken one night stands and assumes they were both sober

Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 20:26

Yes it was lunch so both completely sober. I probably would have been more inclined to kiss with a drink in me

OP posts:
BrandNewAndImproved · 17/01/2016 20:26

Anyone I've fancied and dated I've literally had to sit on my hands to stop myself unzipping my jeans and jumping on him.

Anyone I've dated where we've got in a cuddling sesh and all I've wanted to do is escape I've realised I didn't like them like that. It didn't matter how many more dates that happened or how nice they were I just had zero interest in having sex with them let alone cuddling.

Someone you fancy -> best kisser ever
Someone you don't -> can't wait to get out of the kiss and embrace

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 17/01/2016 20:28

Why did yo go? I would be similarly unimpressed if a date suggested going to his place to watch tv, even leaving the parents out of it. In fact I'd look at him like Hmm and delete his number from my phone.

Helmetbymidnight · 17/01/2016 20:28

Haven't been on a date to watch TV at someone's parents house since I was 14.

That's another good thing about getting older!

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 17/01/2016 20:29

If you felt uncomfortable cuddling up to him then he isn't the one for you. If you had butterflies over him, couldn't take your eyes off of him then you would of found it perfect to be cuddling up all afternoon

It's rare to feel like that on a second date. Quite unrealistic.

Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 20:30

Yeah I would normally be very unimpressed. I liked him though and could tell he was a bit nervous. It was just a shame that we did that, it ended things on a strange/awkward note

OP posts:
Trills · 17/01/2016 20:30

If you had butterflies over him, couldn't take your eyes off of him then you would of found it perfect to be cuddling up all afternoon.

Nope, I wouldn't. I would still have thought it was too soon.

When giving advice try to remember that not everyone feels about things the same way you feel, and so their reaction is not necessarily "wrong", it's just "different".

BrandNewAndImproved · 17/01/2016 20:30

No way is it rare!

You meet someone and your either attracted to them with the fanny gallops or your not.

ClashCityRocker · 17/01/2016 20:32

That may be how it is for you, brandnew, but it isn't for everyone.

Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 20:32

Thanks obsidian!! I thought that. I liked him a lot and do think he's attractive but don't want to tear his clothes off quite yet. As I mentioned there's a world of difference between meeting someone drunkenly and having a ONS than meeting someone sober in the daytime and cuddling. None of my ONS have been about cuddling or holding hands

OP posts:
WhatsGoingOnEh · 17/01/2016 20:34

This couldve been fun -- you could've raided their board games and challenged each other to a game... But I wouldn't have snuggled up and watched silent TV with someone I didn't know. It's too boring.

ClashCityRocker · 17/01/2016 20:36

Plus, it's a bit....juvenile...lets go back to my parents house and neck on the couch. It's the sort of thing I'd have gone for after a youth club disco, provided I was wearing my Cherry Lipgloss and had an adequate supply of Juicy Fruit.

ClashCityRocker · 17/01/2016 20:39

Did he do the yawn/arm round you thing OP?

cardibach · 17/01/2016 20:45

Confused as to why it being lunch meant you hadn't had a drink...lunch out usually involves a drink, doesn't it?

Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 20:47

Yes WhstsGoingOn - are you me?! I suggested that but they don't have board games! Grin

Hahaha ClashCity my feelings exactly. With my latest tammy outfit on, glittery nail polish on point etc etc. Yawn/arm - he did some kind of complicated yawn/slip his hand into mine manoeuvre. It was sweet but cringy

OP posts:
Original poster
JediHall · 17/01/2016 20:48

cardibach well we both went out last night so were on Sprite! It definitely felt like was 14 again Grin

OP posts:
Pannacott · 17/01/2016 22:28

I'd find that weird too. Is he a bit of a homebody? But of a speedy move to get you in a domestic setting... At your age and second date I'd want to be doing a bit of exploring and learning about each other in a new environment, something a bit exciting, not on parents sofa watching a film.

PeridotPassion · 17/01/2016 22:32

I went on a date just like this when I was 16. He took me back to his parents home and we watched BadBoys on DVD. Except that then he clearly thought he'd done enough wooing to deserve to cop a feel so I very quickly left.

It's very juvenile and I wouldn't be interested in any man that took me back to mummy and daddy's tbh.

ClashCityRocker · 17/01/2016 22:50

What film was it?

Baressentials · 17/01/2016 22:53

I would find it too much of a "couply" thing to do on a first date too.

rosewithoutthorns · 17/01/2016 22:54

Just dump, don't over think.

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