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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse to show my DS this leaflet

72 replies

hippoherostandinghere · 14/01/2016 12:46

Ds is having some teeth removed tomorrow under GA. The dentist sent home a leaflet for me to read with him. I've just flicked though it and this is the last page. The 2nd quote gives me the absolute rage.

Firstly he has been looking after his teeth as best as he can, he's just very unlucky to have gentically inherited bad teeth. We do everything we can to look after his teeth, we follow all the advice given.

And secondly what child has the fucking autonomy to arrange their own dentist appointments. Seriously, he goes every 6 months since he was a baby. As if he could ever have any control over that, he's 6 fgs.

The whole implication that's it's his fault he's in this position - if only he took better care and visited the dentist more often

OP posts:

swashbucklecheer · 14/01/2016 12:52

I'd send you a biscuit but it's not good for your teeth

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 14/01/2016 13:02

Ynbu, but its obviously just a generic leaflet. It's nothing personal.

MoMoTy · 14/01/2016 13:04

Rage? How dramatic and Ott! It's a generic leaflet, not specifically addressed to your child. Maybe not make a huge issue of it and your child won't pick up on it.

knobblyknee · 14/01/2016 13:05

I have terrible teeth and my son gets away with murder with his. Apart from one tooth.
He broke his leg as a toddler and was in traction. I asked the hospital if he should have a calcium supplement and they said no. Lo and behold, thats when this one tooth was developing, and it has a filling.

Just tear that rubbish up.

TurnOffTheTv · 14/01/2016 13:08

You need to calm down and chuck it in the bin. It's obviously a generic leaflet, not having a personal dig at you or your son. It's touched a nerve, but no need to be raging about it.

SilverDragonfly1 · 14/01/2016 13:15

If it has useful, calming info in it, he should be allowed to see. Pop a sticky label over the last speech bubble and write in your own dialogue, I would!

Original poster

hippoherostandinghere · 14/01/2016 13:18

Ok I may be slightly touchy and a little OTT. It's just so patronising as if to say DS if you'd looked after your teeth better and visited the dentist more you wouldn't be in this situation.

OP posts:

goodnightdarthvader1 · 14/01/2016 13:18

Oh FGS. The easily-offended brigade out in full force lately.

Not every child looks after their teeth. If this leaflet encourages 10 children to brush more and not throw a tantrum when their parent takes them to the dentist, then it's worth it. If it encourages YOUR child to be vigilant about dental hygiene, it's worth it, whether his problems are done to genetics or not. Get off your high horse.

sofiahelin1 · 14/01/2016 13:19

It's embarrassing to take your child to have a rotten tooth out, perhaps that's what you're feeling, not rage at the generic leaflet!
Does he eat sugar outside of meals? That's the main cause. No need to change diet, just make sure there's not sugar sat on his teeth for hours on end.
And try pepper smith xylitol mints, they strengthen enamel.

passivesonata · 14/01/2016 13:25

And your problem is what? If a child doesn't look after their teeth then they may have to have one taken out? FFS the leaflet is accurate, just deal with it.

My eldest went through a phase of not cleaning their teeth when they were in the teens, they had to have a filling. Tough; they knew they should have cleaned them, they didn't and they got a lecture from the dentist. It saved me having to do it.

DinoSnores · 14/01/2016 13:26

knobblyknee, breaking his leg has nothing to do with a filling in his teeth.

For a start, most of tooth development happens as a baby in utero, which is why sometimes children can have enamel problems with their first teeth if the mother has had an infection during pregnancy.

Themodernuriahheep · 14/01/2016 13:28

Sympathise, but for every one of you there is a huge number of children whose parents are not so rigorous, major health problem. They've just been undiscriminating as to whom they give the leaflets.

Seeyounearertime · 14/01/2016 13:29

op, please can i have your life? if this is what upsets you then it must be pretty damned good.

dontrunwithscissors · 14/01/2016 13:29

YNBU. The last thing a child needs. I had about 5 teeth out as a child because I grew too many. They put me under with gas. I was only about 6 and found it utterly terrifying. They did it twice. The second time I put my Dad's back out as I was fighting so hard to get away.

Merguez · 14/01/2016 13:31

YABU. It's not all about you.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 14/01/2016 13:32

Can you get 'genetically inherited' bad teeth?

minipie · 14/01/2016 13:34

I see what you mean, but I don't think a child would read into this any implication that his bad teeth were his fault. We as adults see that implication, but I suspect he wouldn't unless you gave him the idea. He would just read it literally, ie it is a good idea to look after your teeth and go to the dentist.

MackerelOfFact · 14/01/2016 13:36

Yeah, it'd be absolutely terrible for your DS to think it's important to look after his teeth and go to the dentist.

The fact that he apparently has a genetic predisposition to caries makes it more important that he looks after his teeth, not less.

You would still tell someone who was genetically predisposed to lung cancer not to smoke, wouldn't you? Not just tell them 'well if you get cancer it'll probably be genetic, so puff away?'

sofiahelin1 · 14/01/2016 13:36

Not sure mumontherun dc eat the same diet, one has strong teeth the other (has coeliac disease & I was v ill during pregnancy if relevant) has weak teeth & had two baby tooth fillings. Adult teeth are all ok but I've been extra vigilant since I got that shock & he has the xylitol after every meal.

Original poster

hippoherostandinghere · 14/01/2016 13:40

But that's not the point Mackerel. He does look after his teeth. I'm not telling him not to. I'm annoyed because the leaflet implies that he doesn't.

OP posts:

BabyAlexander · 14/01/2016 13:43

Genetically bad teeth? Say it ain't so.

Eyes up parents just turned 60 with complete dentures, reminds self to speak to DF about what possessed him to get the TOWIE white ones. Checks own teeth, no fillings in 35 years, only work was orthodontic 20 odd years ago.

I think I'm safe, I may insure them to be on the safe side.

Original poster

hippoherostandinghere · 14/01/2016 13:43

Dino you're right with that, his problem may be that he was in neo-natal on antibiotics at birth. And nothing to do with diet.

OP posts:

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 14/01/2016 13:44

But he's 6? Baby/milk teeth surely?

BabyAlexander · 14/01/2016 13:45

Sorry, back to the leaflet. I expect he's exposed to this sort of thing all the time, aren't there poster up in school and dentists.

I have a sign up in my work toilet reminding me to wash my hands, I can't get annoyed about it I'm afraid.

If the leaflet is helpful hand it over, if he asks you can explain.

Original poster

hippoherostandinghere · 14/01/2016 13:47

Yes all baby teeth, small mercies and all that.

Ok so I maybe used the wrong term. I mean he just has bad teeth, just does. No known cause, idiopathic. It may have been the antibiotics we don't really know.

OP posts:

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