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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse to show my DS this leaflet

72 replies

hippoherostandinghere · 14/01/2016 12:46

Ds is having some teeth removed tomorrow under GA. The dentist sent home a leaflet for me to read with him. I've just flicked though it and this is the last page. The 2nd quote gives me the absolute rage.

Firstly he has been looking after his teeth as best as he can, he's just very unlucky to have gentically inherited bad teeth. We do everything we can to look after his teeth, we follow all the advice given.

And secondly what child has the fucking autonomy to arrange their own dentist appointments. Seriously, he goes every 6 months since he was a baby. As if he could ever have any control over that, he's 6 fgs.

The whole implication that's it's his fault he's in this position - if only he took better care and visited the dentist more often

OP posts:

FoggyMorn · 14/01/2016 15:10

Reallytired, my 3 DC all had fissure seals on the NHS, no 4 is too young but will also get them when his adult teeth erupt. 1 of them had regular fluoride paint too, all on the NHS (Scotland, if that makes a difference).

ifgrandmahadawilly · 14/01/2016 15:39

YANBU. That would piss me off.

I had a telling off from my dentist who assumed I was eating loads of sugar / not taking care of my teeth when actually I'd never had any problems with my teeth before - not even a filling, until I hit pregnancy and my teeth just fell apart

MackerelOfFact · 14/01/2016 16:04

It does sound difficult, hippo, sorry if I came across as harsh.

My DP is a dentist, and I work with a lot of dentists in an organisation that sets national clinical standards. The vast majority of parents who have a child with carious teeth will swear blindly that they have impeccable diets and dental hygiene - but a little bit of digging will usually reveal that isn't the case. Whether it's lack of flossing, brushing at the wrong time, using mouthwash instead of brushing, being 'too busy' to brush, bad habits, special dietary requirements or whatever.

Once parents admit that there is room for improvement, the dentist or hygienist can (and will) help! They know all the tricks in the book. But most won't access that support if they're not upfront about the challenges, and the result is usually that their children have poor oral health into adulthood.

It's a bit of a sore point so sorry if I was unfair to you. Of course there are always exceptions.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 14/01/2016 16:38

Yabu, it's nothing personal. If he queries it then just remind him how important it is to look after his teeth.

FWIW, I'm highly sceptical of "genetically bad teeth", unless due to an actual medical condition. Both my parents have awful teeth, lots of fillings. Both me and my sister were not over careful with ours as teens but have perfect teeth.

SmillasSenseOfSnow · 14/01/2016 17:27

It gives me the rage when dentists recommend ' sugar-free' ie aspartame-laden products. I'd rather have rotten teeth than a systemic disease caused by eating artificial chemicals. xylitol is okay - derived from birch or corn.

Well that's lucky, because if you had PKU you'd (1) have been born with it and (2) know by now. No systemic disease is caused by aspartame. Not even PKU, to be fair. But it's those people that can't eat it (and they can't eat pretty much anything, because just about everything contains phenylalanine).

Fratelli · 15/01/2016 16:32

Genuinely struggling to believe anyone would feel rage over this. It's a generic leaflet fgs. Stop being so sensitive.

Mistigri · 15/01/2016 16:43

I would avoid reading the leaflet to your DS, just bin it.

There's a certain amount of luck when it comes to teeth. DH went to the dentist for the first time in decades last week, teeth in perfect condition, just needed a clean and polish. She remarked on his good fortune and suggested that there is an inherited element to it.

I'm much more careful with mine and they are not great even though I had fluoride treatment as a child, back when this was a new treatment.

Kids' teeth seem to be good though DS had to have a baby tooth extracted because the enamel hadn't formed correctly. Interesting to read that this can be related to pg infections - what sort of infections?

SatsukiKusakabe · 15/01/2016 17:15

Hope today went well for your ds, hippohero

Original poster

hippoherostandinghere · 16/01/2016 15:47

Thanks Satsuki. It went well, he's a little trouper. We had a lot of waiting around but he was very patient. He was a little sick then afterwards and quite tired but he's in great form today. Boosted by a visit from the tooth fairy.

I didn't show him the leaflet. I explained what would happen to him and he sailed through it.

OP posts:

FlatOnTheHill · 16/01/2016 15:49

You sound very dramatic and probably bored. Is this a joke thread?

Original poster

hippoherostandinghere · 16/01/2016 15:54

Yeah is bloody hilarious that my DS had his teeth removed. And that all the health professionals think it's because we don't bother to brush his teeth.

OP posts:

IguanaTail · 16/01/2016 15:55

I can't believe you can get this worked up over a speech bubble in a generic leaflet. You're going to end up with high blood pressure if you keep this level of rage up.

IguanaTail · 16/01/2016 15:56

all the health professionals think it's because we don't bother to brush his teeth.

Has every single health professional said that to you? Or is it what you have inferred from a speech bubble on a generic leaflet?

Original poster

hippoherostandinghere · 16/01/2016 15:59

Well to be honest I got a little bit worked up about it when I initially read it but I did calm down. I haven't remained in a bubbling rage for the last few days, I've got other things to think about.

OP posts:

KacieB · 16/01/2016 16:30

Aw, I can see how it hit a nerve hippo.

The big thing to work on is not blame but consistent attitude to treatment and stopping your son from being scared of any of it ... It took me years as an adult to get close to tackling my dentist phobia from multiple visits in childhood, and is why my teeth are awful even now.

RustyBear, that picture just gave me actual laugh-out loud hysterics. Who the hell would design a grim reaper bird with "it's time!" as a dentist reminder?

PunkrockerGirl · 16/01/2016 16:33

You need to calm down. A great deal.

MsJamieFraser · 16/01/2016 16:38

does your ds brush his own teeth OP or do you brush them for him?

DS is 6 and also is under going treatment to have teeth removed and has been since before xmas (2 fillings and 4 teeth need removing) he cant have a GA, so needs to get all his done with happy gas.

His is also because of medical, he lacks calcium and vit d, due to his diet (allergies) which only became a real problem recently, and unknowingly to us (his checks up were fab, pearly white healthy teeth at his last dentist apt... 9 weeks later ds teeth started to crumble. he now gets injections and is on vits for life.

SatsukiKusakabe · 16/01/2016 18:08

Glad he's ok hippo. Fwiw my adult teeth seemed to fare better than my milk teeth, so hope he doesn't have too much more of this in his future.

As an aside, why do people continue posting snarky comments on threads when the OP has updated?

OP "I explained what would happen to him and he sailed through it"

"You sound very dramatic and probably bored"

OP "Well to be honest I got a little bit worked up about it but I did calm down"

"You need to calm down. A great deal."

RTFT

Supermanspants · 16/01/2016 18:12

The 2nd quote gives me the absolute rage.

Over an information leaflet on the removal of a tooth
Just. unbelievable.

SatsukiKusakabe · 16/01/2016 18:18

Or not

IguanaTail · 16/01/2016 19:19

Even if you disagree with things, you can still show them to your son and comment "you see there are kids who don't brush their teeth or go to the dentist and they have to have rotten teeth pulled out. But you aren't in that position so you don't need to worry"

Original poster

hippoherostandinghere · 16/01/2016 19:33

Thanks Satsuki I think the last few posters have missed my updates. I'm really not in a rage anymore. I can understand that there will be children who aren't brushing their teeth and who are eating rubbish and this may be helpful to make them understand why they should. But ultimately it's down to the parent to ensure this happens.

I'm glad you had less bother with your adult teeth and hopefully Ds won't either.

OP posts:

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