To refuse to show my DS this leaflet

[hippoherostandinghere]

Ds is having some teeth removed tomorrow under GA. The dentist sent home a leaflet for me to read with him. I've just flicked though it and this is the last page. The 2nd quote gives me the absolute rage.

Firstly he has been looking after his teeth as best as he can, he's just very unlucky to have gentically inherited bad teeth. We do everything we can to look after his teeth, we follow all the advice given.

And secondly what child has the fucking autonomy to arrange their own dentist appointments. Seriously, he goes every 6 months since he was a baby. As if he could ever have any control over that, he's 6 fgs.

The whole implication that's it's his fault he's in this position - if only he took better care and visited the dentist more often

If you think it's 'implying' anything I think you must be projecting those feelings yourself. It's a story about a kid who has a tooth extraction. It doesn't imply your DS hasn't looked after his teeth any more than it implies he has the same awful haircut.

Plus there's always room for improvement in anyone's oral health regime. I cannot see how it could be harmful to reinforce that.

There is a genetic element to strength of teeth - I am 40 and have no fillings (annual dental visits) and I am quite sure it isn't because I am a paragon of dental hygiene and sugar avoidance - I brush my teeth morning and evening and eat far more sugar than I should which does indeed sit on my teeth. There is a hefty helping of luck in the fact I have never needed a filling - about the only area in which genetics have been unusually generous to me unfortunately, but you have to work with what you have :o

Genetically inherited bad teeth? !
Seriously?
Does he eat a lot of fruit? Fruit acid is very bad for teeth.

I'm not sure our dentist really wanted to encourage children to go more often- this was the reminder card they used to send. We called it 'The Bird of Death'

Just remembered as a child I had my adult teeth sealed with something, then my dentist topped it up when my brace came off and then topped it up a few years ago when I moved back from a few years abroad.

Worth speaking to them about.

All of my family have shocking teeth, what's left of them, even my younger sister started losing her teeth at 28. I get complimented on mine and I eat and drink sugar etc. Luck of the draw I reckon but every little helps.

I imagine you're feeling emotional about your ds having to have this done, it isn't his fault, and so you've reacted badly to this, but, yes it is an overreaction on your part to a fairly standard leaflet.

Just think of it that it doesn't apply to your situation and concentrate on what is going to help your ds at the moment.

OP has a 6 year old having a general anaesthetic tomorrow, there's no need to be unkind.

That bird is FREAKY!!!

Op I'd be pissed off too. For no fault of his own your DS is going to a hospital, having GA, missing school, have to recover, lots of potential stressful things which I am sure you are preparing him for, and this leaflet just implies tritely what a silly billy he is for swigging Coke and hiding from the dentist.

My sons friend had a similar tooth situation and the hospital handled it great - he is fit as a fiddle now, all the best to your DS.

There was a programme on last year about children having teeth out under general anaesthetic and they said that the parents always say that the child brushes their teeth regularly and doesn't eat/drink too much sweet stuff and they have no idea how the decay happened, so they have no way of knowing who is genuine. In some areas of the country 50% of children get tooth decay, so it's not surprising they are trying to prevent it.

My son had terrible baby teeth. He had a lot of antibiotics as a tot and I wonder if that damaged his teeth. At the age of 14 he doesn't have any baby teeth and his adult teeth are perfect.

If you child has weak enamel they might benefit from a Flouride paste/ varnish on their teeth every six months. When the adult teeth come through its worth having fissure sealants. Any child can benefit from having a dental nurse work with them to improve brushing technique. Sadly the nhs does not provide these things.

YANBU to bin the leaflet.
YABU to have the absolute rage about it.

I agree that a lot of things affect teeth, incl antibiotics, and saying that it's all down to eating too much sugar is VERY simplistic.
I wish that they would stop saying it is only due to sugar and/or not brushing teeth. Or having a go at children for not brusging their teeth so they have cavities and then compliment them because it's clear that their teeth are all nicely brushed!

Fwiw, I had one dc who needed to have two teeth out, within a few months of each other. It was at very specific time of his life under very specific circumstances. He was brushing his teeth, he had very little sugar.
When said circumstances changed, it stopped and he has had no cavities ever after.
I know a few other people to who it happened too. I know I had quite few issues as a student and I was working stupid hours. I haven't had one since I stopped stuying.... It happened to a friend of mine too.

I would not show that leaflet to your ds, just have a chat with him, explain what will happen and that the tooth fairy will probably be more generous this time :)

YANBU bad marketing there. Not all teeth problems come from bad teethcare.

I'm going to blow your mind now and tell you I damaged my teeth through 'overbrushing'. Yes, that's a thing!

Thanks to all the last few posters who have been a lot more sympathetic. It is quite a difficult thing.

I'm trying to juggle a diet for a child who is quite underweight and also has bad teeth it is not easy. The tooth fairy will be busy on Saturday morning.

mouldycheesefan I love that!

FWIW I had my baby teeth extracted at about 7 or 8. Only kid never allowed to get Pick and Mix sweets, my mum never bought fizzy drinks, and fruit juice was allowed on holidays and special occasions.

So it's not an exact science.

I've got four kids. They eat the same diet and all have the same approach to brushing. Two have perfect teeth and two have terrible teeth. Two got the cavity-prone gene, two escaped it. It's to do with saliva acidity, I believe.

Yy hippohero my smug no-fillings perfect teeth dh (not saying as a generalisation, he specifically is smug about it!) couldn't believe it when he got more of a telling off at the hygienist than I did for over brushing.

either way OP its a bit victim blaming, in general kids cant help their teeth-
they are either cursed with bad teeth, or ignorant (and often well meaning) parents

hope your little one is OK

Ok I may be slightly touchy and a little OTT. It's just so patronising

What's patronising to grown ups isn't necessarily patronising to children. Sometime's it's just direct and not flowery.

www.davidhorne-gripmaster.com/shop.html

YANBU IMO. Why would you show him that - you're his mum - you can do a much better job of explaining what will happen and comfort him or reassure him if it's necessary.

Definitely a genetic component to 'strong' or otherwise teeth.

It gives me the rage when dentists recommend ' sugar-free' ie aspartame-laden products. I'd rather have rotten teeth than a systemic disease caused by eating artificial chemicals. xylitol is okay - derived from birch or corn.

I hope you

Christ, that bird looks more than vaguely threatening...

I have bad teeth. My Mum has also had problems, but my sister never has. I think it could be genetic, but I also eat a fair bit of sugar and failed to brush properly as a teenager.

Genetically inherited bad teeth - yes you absolutely can inherit teeth with abnormal enamel, malformed roots etc. One such condition runs in my family , Dentingenisis Imperfecta.

Illness, medication and poor diet in pregnant women can all cause tooth problems in her child, and affected teeth with be very vunerable to decay and damage even if they are very well looked after.

People (especially children) with gut conditions (such as coeliac), that affect the absorption minerals and vitamins from food will also be prone to weak teeth.

So no, people are not always to blame for their terrible teeth, or their children's terrible teeth!

I am perhaps a little touchy about this. My parents were blamed for my teeth, it was only when my child was 3 that I discovered we had a genetic condition (I changed dentists and this one recognised the condition, confirmed with genetic tests), his baby teeth were worn flat to the gum line in places before the grown up teeth came in, and some stained black through the dentin but not actually rotten (The good news is, that with this diagnosis, the dentist made a number of recommendations which meant that this adult teeth, although abnormal, have never been filled, except a repair to a front bottom tooth with got broken in a fall (he's now in his twenties).

Despite knowing my child had a condition causing his problems, I certainly felt the sharp intake of breath and hoiking of judgy pants in my direction, at times when my ds was small and had his mouthful of (at first glance) rotten teeth. To often I found my self telling virtual strangers my child has DI which runs in the family- there's such a stigma about bad teeth and that's not a good thing. I'm sure some parents must delay seeking help for their children out of guilt and shame, and that's not great is it?

I'm totally with you Foggy. The stigma is unreal. I get judged for being an awful parent when people know nothing about our situation. I just pray for DS sake that his adult teeth are ok.

I am with you op.