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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this was a bit of a cheeky request?

68 replies

BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 21:01

Have a friend who moved abroad a few years ago, we were close before they left and did keep in contact a bit, but definitely drifted. Now they're back for a couple of weeks and have brought new friends from where they currently live with them.

They wanted to go out fairly local to where I live, I was invited to go along but declined as had other plans and wouldn't be at home that night. Then got a text from said friend asking if they and the friends could stay at my house when I wasn't there as it was closer to where they were going out and would mean they didn't have to pay the expensive cab fare.

AIBU to think this is bloody cheeky? I'd find it odd if a very close friend made this request, let alone someone who I don't often talk to and wants to take two people I've never met back as well!

(A firm but polite 'no' was given!)

OP posts:

nilbyname · 03/01/2016 21:02

Weird and cheeky! Good for you to say no!

Aeroflotgirl · 03/01/2016 21:11

Yanbu how rude. Say no we cant, sorry.

expatinscotland · 03/01/2016 21:13

WTAF? Just let strangers you don't know stay in your home whilst you are not there? Yeah, that's cheeky. YANBU.

Firsteverchangeofname · 03/01/2016 21:13

Bit cheeky
Especially as you won't even be there!!

Birdsgottafly · 03/01/2016 21:19

She's confusing you with AirBnb.

Original poster

BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 21:20

Glad to know it's not just me who thought it was ridiculous! DP was cross they'd even asked. My reply was also ignored for several hours (wonders of whatsapp let you see when it has been read!) which I think annoyed me even more.

OP posts:

Moreisnnogedag · 03/01/2016 21:20

Well they've certainly got balls. Beyond cheeky. Can I ask how old you all are? I can only think that this would be ok in my early 20s!

Original poster

BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 21:23

Early to mid 20s yes, still don't think I'd have the audacity to ask the same of someone else though. Like I said I'd feel a bit weird about it if it were a close friend that I saw regularly, it was the fact it was someone I haven't seen for years, wanting to stay with people I've never met. Odd.

OP posts:

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 03/01/2016 21:24

I wouldn't ask, but I would have said yes. Why not?

Original poster

BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 21:26

Really, would it not bother you?

Just not sure I'd want people in my house that I've never met. We only have one bedroom as well, and a sofa bed, so someone would have been sleeping in my bed which makes me feel a bit gross!

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 03/01/2016 21:27

'I wouldn't ask, but I would have said yes. Why not?'

Because she doesn't know who they are and she wouldn't be there and they'd be sleeping in her bed.

expatinscotland · 03/01/2016 21:28

I wouldn't have asked, either. If you weren't going to be there, it's a fucking cheek.

beelover · 03/01/2016 21:29

Omg very cheeky indeed and I would definitely have said no too.

Wombat87 · 03/01/2016 21:34

Haha MIL got invited somewhere once for an event in our city by someone she knows. Turns out MIL only got invited because the someone wanted somewhere to stay for free. Worse of all. It wasn't just MIL and said someone. It was them 2 plus at least 2 others that we've never even heard of. MIL didn't let that request reach our ears until much MUCH further down the line and said no for us.

YANBU and that's so cheeky it made me laugh!

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 03/01/2016 21:34

Wouldn't bother me. I've let friends of friends stay in our house while we've been away. I just thought of them as house sitters. In this situation I would just think, yeah, lock the door and post the keys when you leave.

My friends have had our house a couple of times when over from Japan.

The OP knows one of the party, I think that's good enough.

I would assume that guests conduct themselves with a modicum of respect.

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 03/01/2016 21:36

Gosh perhaps I'm more chilled than most. What can they do, that's so offensive?!

Pipbin · 03/01/2016 21:37

You don't have a holiday home in Mexico do you?

DancingDuck · 03/01/2016 21:39

I think it may be a cultural shift from living abroad. People often go out of their way to welcome strangers when they are ex pats (from whatever country) and forget how uptight we are in Britain. I remember getting a call on Christmas Day once from someone who'd arrived from Uruguay and told me his friend had said I was nice and would let him stay. I barely remembered his friend - a woman I'd worked with in Turkey for about two days! But I went to collect him on NYE and he ended up staying at mine off and on for two years. He was really quite sweet and nice, if a bit of a free loader. There is a lovely, welcoming attitude among the international community which we find a bit odd but I can see how your friend asked without realising it would cause you offense if she has recently been living in a culture where it's more normal.

Original poster

BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 21:39

Pipbin - I very much wish I had a holiday home in Mexico. I unfortunately only have a small one bedroom in London instead

OP posts:

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 03/01/2016 21:39

Why, do you want to stay?

expatinscotland · 03/01/2016 21:41

'Gosh perhaps I'm more chilled than most.'

Yes, of course, anyone who finds it a cheeky for people to ask if total strangers can stay in their house, sleep in their bed without their being there is just uptight .

Sure, just post the keys, I don't need them to get into my flat when my husband isn't here.

Biscuitsneeded · 03/01/2016 21:41

A friend of mine who is French (living in France) once asked if her brother who I had met maybe twice and his wife (never met) could stay in my flat in London, as I was going to be away and they wanted to have a budget honeymoon in London. I didn't think this was an unreasonable request since I wasn't going to be there and London is so expensive for tourists. They left me some very nice wine. And several months later they wrote to me and told me that they had conceived their first child in my bed!! I was quite chuffed to hear it, really.

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 03/01/2016 21:43

Don't you have spare keys expat, honestly I do think it's a bit uptight. What are these people going to do that's so offensive?

ExitPursuedByABear · 03/01/2016 21:43

Ah London.

Cheeky feckers.

Original poster

BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 21:44

...I'm fairly certain if anyone conceived their first child in my bed other than DP and I, I would've been very grossed out!

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