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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this was a bit of a cheeky request?

68 replies

BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 21:01

Have a friend who moved abroad a few years ago, we were close before they left and did keep in contact a bit, but definitely drifted. Now they're back for a couple of weeks and have brought new friends from where they currently live with them.

They wanted to go out fairly local to where I live, I was invited to go along but declined as had other plans and wouldn't be at home that night. Then got a text from said friend asking if they and the friends could stay at my house when I wasn't there as it was closer to where they were going out and would mean they didn't have to pay the expensive cab fare.

AIBU to think this is bloody cheeky? I'd find it odd if a very close friend made this request, let alone someone who I don't often talk to and wants to take two people I've never met back as well!

(A firm but polite 'no' was given!)

OP posts:

BeYourOwnBoss · 03/01/2016 22:34

Uber is great. That's would be a good advice, actually!

PingpongDingDong · 03/01/2016 22:34

Ugh! I'd have hated that biscuits! I agree with you op, but then I'm not big on having people I don't know in my house. To be honest it's more that I'mnot that tidy and feel embarrassed about it than anything else!!

IamCarcass · 03/01/2016 22:36

We had our friend and her friend stay recently, the friend was a cheeky addition which I'm so glad we said yes to, she was even nicer than our friend! Also we've earned ourselves a place to stay in a lovely tropical Island or another warm climate country. Win win.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 03/01/2016 23:02

Very cheeky.

I don't really want strangers in my house when I am there, let alone when I'm not!

purplehazed · 03/01/2016 23:51

Just because they're friends of friends doesn't matter a jot. They're strangers who would be in your house while you aren't there. Wonder if this friend would be happy to have strangers in her house while she wasn't there.

Hotpatootietimewarp · 04/01/2016 08:19

YANBU op, the thing that would make me uncomfortable is the 2 strangers. Also did you say you're not as close to your friend anymore? What's to stop the strangers you have never met stealing your bank details?? They could be anyone.

Collaborate · 04/01/2016 09:11

It's about the balance of (in)convenience. They would be, apparently, inconvenienced (and a little out of pocket) at having to take a taxi back on the night. Slightly more costly than taking one back the next morning, but that's as far as it goes.

BlueRaptor would have to run around getting the flat clean, fresh bedding, and setting up a temporary bed. Hide sex toys fine wines. Restock the wines they help themselves to, and quite possibly clean up after them. Go out to supermarket to replace milk they'd finished off. Do laundry for all the bedding and towels.

As they're so aghast at the inconvenience of getting a night taxi back, on their night out, I fail to see how BlueRaptor was expected to inconvenience herself much more than that, if at all.

dustarr73 · 04/01/2016 10:04

The cynical in me would think they asked you to go out because they wanted to crash at your place.

AnUtterIdiot · 04/01/2016 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

BlueRaptor · 04/01/2016 14:08

dustarr I'm with you, think that may well have been where my invitation came from!

Have also been asked along to a place that we expressed interest in going to before they moved away. Now wants to take new friends with them, asked me if I wanted to go (and would therefore drive.) It's about 60 miles away...

Torn between actually wanting to go but also not going because think I'm only invited because I can drive them there!

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 04/01/2016 14:11

'Torn between actually wanting to go but also not going because think I'm only invited because I can drive them there!'

I think that might be the case. This is what, the third time you've been expected to play taxi. Three times = a pattern.

120 miles is a lot of petrol. If you were driving me, I would offer you some money. It's up to you to refuse, but I would at least offer.

Original poster

BlueRaptor · 04/01/2016 14:18

No petrol money been offered at any time, don't expect it will be either.

I agree it's about offering. In all honesty I have very rarely - if ever - accepted money from friends when I've been the driver, but I think that's because they all offered and that was the main thing.

OP posts:

redjoker · 04/01/2016 14:38

Think it is cheeky but get the impression it wasn't on purpose- a slight cultural thing maybe? Still think it's odd; struggle to leave OH home alone with out thinking hes invading 'my' house haha

(he works away a lot)

Original poster

BlueRaptor · 04/01/2016 14:40

I know the feeling! My brother house stayed here for one day (not overnight, just the day as was waiting for an important delivery!) and I was a bit stressed about it 🙈

OP posts:

sotiredofthis1 · 04/01/2016 14:42

And several months later they wrote to me and told me that they had conceived their first child in my bed!!

Hope you had a protector on your mattress biscuits .

sotiredofthis1 · 04/01/2016 14:44

(Don't think I'd ever be able to look at my bed in the same way if I had this information about it!).

I think YANBU OP.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/01/2016 14:54

If it were just the friends, I might have said yes; but since they were bringing complete strangers in as well, then I would have definitely said no.

TakeMeUpTheNorthMountain · 04/01/2016 15:19

I would have major issues with anyone I don't know putting their sweaty arse on my sheets, riding on my mattress, reading my post, drinking my wine - those are the behaviour of a dick- why would that not bother anyone?

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