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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was a bit of a cheeky request?

68 replies

BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 21:01

Have a friend who moved abroad a few years ago, we were close before they left and did keep in contact a bit, but definitely drifted. Now they're back for a couple of weeks and have brought new friends from where they currently live with them.

They wanted to go out fairly local to where I live, I was invited to go along but declined as had other plans and wouldn't be at home that night. Then got a text from said friend asking if they and the friends could stay at my house when I wasn't there as it was closer to where they were going out and would mean they didn't have to pay the expensive cab fare.

AIBU to think this is bloody cheeky? I'd find it odd if a very close friend made this request, let alone someone who I don't often talk to and wants to take two people I've never met back as well!

(A firm but polite 'no' was given!)

OP posts:
dontcallmethatyoucunt · 03/01/2016 21:45

See biscuits, great story. This is how Air BnB got going.

Original poster
BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 21:45

Also hadn't even thought of the keys thing - we actually don't have spares. A set each on the same key chain as our car keys and that's that. Don't think either of us would have wanted to give our keys up!

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 03/01/2016 21:45

Sheesh. I couldn't begin to imagine having strangers in my house when I wasn't here.

ToomuchChocolatemeansBootcamp · 03/01/2016 21:45

What could they do? Nosy through all my personal things, including my baby memory box, use my toiletries, leave pee in the toilet, sweat fart and have sex in my bed, leave hair in the sink, eat my food, drink my good put-away wine, steal coins from my savings jar, open my post to nosy at my banking details ... Just some suggestions, which is why I only have very good and totally trusted friends to stay now.

ExitPursuedByABear · 03/01/2016 21:46

Maybe we have discovered a great dividing line.

Original poster
BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 21:47

No one has ever stayed at ours without one of us there, maybe that's the problem!

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 03/01/2016 21:48

Judge my cupboards Shock

And my bookcases.

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 03/01/2016 21:49

Fuck it, let em look, who cares!

The only thing on that list is my put away wine. I'd be a bit pissed if a big dent was made.

The rest, so what.

FourShour · 03/01/2016 21:52

I would have said yes, its not a big deal

Its nice to be nice and all that

expatinscotland · 03/01/2016 21:52

'Don't you have spare keys expat,'

Why no, we haven't, dont. And we also only have a fob each to get into the building, those are issued by the property manager/factor to each tenant on the agreement. If you lose yours, you have to pay £25 for another and your current one is deactivated. This is to stop strangers from getting access to the building.

Also, if anything got damaged in my flat whilst I wasn't in there and allowed strangers in to stay there whilst I was not, my contents insurance company would tell me to go fuck myself.

Arfarfanarf · 03/01/2016 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Viviennemary · 03/01/2016 21:55

It's more than a bit cheeky it's a downright nerve. Three of them!!! Hope you told them where to go.

BeYourOwnBoss · 03/01/2016 21:58

In the UK most would consider it unreasonable, for sure. But in many other countries/cultures, and depending on where you stand on the social ladder, it can be ok to ask. If it looks like you're just taking a piss and other options are available to you, with some limited cost/effort, then it is cheeky.

I wouldn't judge people for asking, but I would certainly say no if I felt uncomfortable.

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 03/01/2016 22:00

Well I can see why it might be more restricting in some circumstances, really not trying to offend expat, you seem agitated by my lack of concern Confused.
However, the OP isn't talking about strangers, she's taking about a friend and her friend. I'm just genuinely very surprised so many people would say no. I wouldn't have. I think sometimes people react, because it might seem odd, I was just debating the point, because their is shite on TV!

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 03/01/2016 22:01
  • friends
BeYourOwnBoss · 03/01/2016 22:02

A lot of it boils down to how much you've got to lose. If not much, you're more likely to be open to such requests. Also if you can relate to people's need (if it is genuine at all!) then you're probably more likely to help.

Original poster
BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 22:04

I agree with you there BeYourOwnBoss - think it came across more cheeky because they certainly had other options, but where they were staying was significantly further away than my house and they didn't want to pay the taxi fare. Not sure how they intended to get home the next morning though as none of them have access to a car here...

OP posts:
dontcallmethatyoucunt · 03/01/2016 22:04

I think it's more to do with my friends. I trust them and their judgement. If they think they're ok to hang out, I'd put them up. I can see I'm slightly odd on this though!

Italiangreyhound · 03/01/2016 22:04

Cheeky and cheap, they could get a hotel, or taxi or drive! How old are they, 18!!!

expatinscotland · 03/01/2016 22:13

Do you have access to a car, Blue?

Original poster
BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 22:20

Yes, I drive and they know this as I was the silly bugger who ferried them around all evening soon after they arrived as they wanted to go places!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/01/2016 22:24

'Yes, I drive and they know this as I was the silly bugger who ferried them around all evening soon after they arrived as they wanted to go places!'

And here is why they invited you along. I'd bet London to a brick they'd be in your flat when you got home from wherever it was you're going, to take them back, of course.

nocabbageinmyeye · 03/01/2016 22:25

Another cheeky vote here, not a hope I would have said yes either

Original poster
BlueRaptor · 03/01/2016 22:29

I was wondering that myself expat. Hmm.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/01/2016 22:32

Tell them to download Uber. They can get a cheap car using that.