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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this is a bit unfair

70 replies

DDDDDORA · 01/12/2015 16:57

I am prepared to be told that I am unreasonable.
On Friday DD (8) forgot to bring her homework home, so she asked a friend to send her a picture of it via Skype. DD then wrote it all out, completed it and handed it in on time on yesterday.
Today she came out of school upset because her teacher has taken 5 minutes golden time off of her for forgetting to take it home in the first place.
DD was upset because she did complete the homework but just not on the piece of paper that it was set on.
This is the same punishment that DD received about a month ago for not handing her homework in on time, she excepted this punishment with no fuss as she knew it was her responsibility to make sure it was handed in on time.
AIBU think this punishment is a bit harsh as DD used her initiative to make sure that she did the homework and handed it in on time.

OP posts:

SouthWesterlyWinds · 01/12/2015 17:00

Is she Year 3/4? Actually I think YANBU. She had a problem, she solved it and did the homework. That's harsh to punish her if she did the work and handed it in on time. What if the sheet was lost? Or if one child didn't get a sheet or was ill on the day? I would actually request a quick informal meeting with the teacher to discuss this as it does seem rather unfair.

MandSPressedApple · 01/12/2015 17:01

Hmmm. I think it is just on the harsh side of fair.

CrohnicallyAspie · 01/12/2015 17:07

Depends on what led up to her forgetting to take it home! If it was just handed out and your Dd put it down while she got her coat and forgot it, or similar then YANBU.

However, if the teacher gave it to her, reminded her several times to put it away and shouted after her as she went home to come back and get it, and your DD still forgot to take it home then fair enough, the punishment would be more for not following a direct instruction than forgetting to take it home.

JoeyJoeJoeJuniorShabadoo · 01/12/2015 17:08

YANBU. I'm actually quite impressed about her initiative on that one.

The result was the same; she handed in her homework.

Enjolrass · 01/12/2015 17:14

It depends. Does she forget a lot?

Is this something she had been warned about before?

Have they put this in place because she or the class as a whole 'forget a lot?

Crabbitface · 01/12/2015 17:17

Regardless of whether she has been told before YANBU. I'd have a word with the class teacher. I bloody hate Golden Time.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 01/12/2015 17:19

I'd speak to the teacher and ask what the problem was.

The set homework was done and given in on time. The teacher sounds weird.

hufflebottom · 01/12/2015 17:20

It doesn't matter why it got forgotten. It got forgotten and she dealt with it. I'm impressed I know teenagers who wouldn't of though of that!

Talk to teacher and say you and your dd felt it was unfair as she had done the homework and shouldn't of been punished. Maybe a 'whoops never mind, well done for doing it but remember to take it home next time' would have been a lot better.

diddl · 01/12/2015 17:20

Well I don't think that 5mins lost was that bad tbh.

Maybe the punishment for handing in homework late should have been more as it does seem harsh by comparison.

stitchglitched · 01/12/2015 17:24

It's very unfair, she used her initiative and completed the work. If she is going to be punished regardless then she will wonder why she should have bothered, not a good lesson for an 8 year old.

dayslikethis · 01/12/2015 17:40

I agree YANBU. Well done to your DD for being so conscientious.

Last year on at least 2 occasions another boy took my DS's homework home by accident. (It was a math textbook that they wrote in so he was completely unable to do the homework without it) The boy in question was a carpool kid and they left the classroom first to go to the carpool line and once there they aren't allowed to leave again. My DS was a "walker" (I walked into the school to collect) and walkers were not allowed in the carpool area. It was a total accident both times, but clearly nothing my DS could have done about it. Both times he had to miss recess to complete the homework - this was the standard punishment for homework not completed on time. First time I left it, but after the second time I emailed the teacher to complain as there was nothing my DS could have done about it. She said she couldn't make exceptions for one or everyone would have had an excuse! Ridiculous - there is clearly a difference between a child UNABLE to do the homework because of someone else's mistake, and a child who has CHOSEN not to do the homework because of whatever other reason.

BoffinMum · 01/12/2015 17:41

Professional hat on.

Bloody stupid. Like you say, it teaches a child not to bother to use their initiative to solve problems. Ridiculous.

WitchWay · 01/12/2015 17:44

WTF is golden time?

Original poster

DDDDDORA · 01/12/2015 17:46

She is in year 4, only other time she had forgotten to do something at school was not handing her homework in that one time. DD has a very good attitude towards school, really doesn't like getting in to trouble.
I think I will have a word with her teacher as it doesn't make sense, I'm not sure what lesson she is trying to teach her as DD says she wouldn't have bothered doing it as she got punished anyway.

OP posts:

Supermanspants · 01/12/2015 17:46

Professional hat on as well.
YANBU. Petty and ridiculous

sharoncarol43 · 01/12/2015 17:47

maybe it was required to be on the paper it was set on.

I hate pupils relying on photographing tasks rather than keeping track of the correct piece of paper. Its a sloppy habit.

I don't think missing 5 minutes golden time matters very much. Did she rewrite it on the correct paper?

fluffypenguinbelly · 01/12/2015 17:50

How silly of the teacher. Unless of course she had physically put the homework in her hand and said do not forget it or the like. I suppose it's a lesson on not relying on others to save your bacon.

Crabbitface · 01/12/2015 17:55

Witchway Golden Time is a period of free play usually on a Friday. In the Uk children can be punished by removal of some or all of this time. So if a child in my DS's class of 4 and 5 year olds does something wrong on a Monday - they have to wait until Friday to be punished for it!

clam · 01/12/2015 17:55

I agree it was unreasonable of the teacher.

rollonthesummer · 01/12/2015 17:56

Professional hat on- yanbu!

MatildaTheCat · 01/12/2015 18:24

Tbh YANBU but if the teacher is thus inclined I can't see what good it will do to go and speak to her. She's unlikely to turn around and say she's in the wrong.

I firmly believe in keeping out of this stuff unless it's totally necessary. Your dd has learned a lesson which is that this is a mean teacher who wants things done her way. She will meet plenty of other people like this in her life. We have to learn to suck it up.

sadwidow28 · 01/12/2015 18:36

I've put my professional hat on also - YANBU

Problem-solving is one the most complex lessons to teach, even with Yrs 7-9.

The fact that your DD recognised and accepted her error; resolved the issue by Skyping and then completed her homework on time is to be commended and NOT punished.

However, I wouldn't say anything to the teacher. Her classroom - her rules. But I would explain to DD that YOU are very proud of her initiative and her homework ethic. Can you think of an extra reward as a parent to signal that she did well, even though it wasn't completed on the worksheet.

MistressOfAll · 01/12/2015 19:01

I would (and have) praised pupils in my class for this kind of problem solving - we want children to use their initiative

GoblinLittleOwl · 01/12/2015 19:12

Let it go----this time. Don't make a special visit to discuss it, but perhaps bring it up informally at Parents' Evening.

She used her initiative, but did forget the HW in the first place; perhaps there is a problem in the class with children forgetting HW, and this is a standard punishment. It is annoying when sheets are printed specially and then left behind.

Part of the reason for HW is training to remember to collect it, do it, hand it in on time, not just the work itself.

whois · 01/12/2015 19:43

Unfair.

DD uses her initiative to solve a problem and she did the homework. Teacher being a mardy cow.

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