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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is a bit unfair

70 replies

DDDDDORA · 01/12/2015 16:57

I am prepared to be told that I am unreasonable.
On Friday DD (8) forgot to bring her homework home, so she asked a friend to send her a picture of it via Skype. DD then wrote it all out, completed it and handed it in on time on yesterday.
Today she came out of school upset because her teacher has taken 5 minutes golden time off of her for forgetting to take it home in the first place.
DD was upset because she did complete the homework but just not on the piece of paper that it was set on.
This is the same punishment that DD received about a month ago for not handing her homework in on time, she excepted this punishment with no fuss as she knew it was her responsibility to make sure it was handed in on time.
AIBU think this punishment is a bit harsh as DD used her initiative to make sure that she did the homework and handed it in on time.

OP posts:
SummerNights1986 · 01/12/2015 19:51

YANBU.

If anything I think she deserved a well done from the teacher for recognising her mistake and using her initiative and putting extra effort into putting it right.

I would be fairly pissed off tbh. I'm a great believer in dc having respect for teachers and in leaving the teacher to get on with it.

However I would be quite unhappy about the lesson your dd has just learnt, which is not to bother trying to correct a mistake she's made as it does her no good. Completely discourages initiative. I would probably have a word with the teacher to let her know I was unhappy with the punishment.

Chattymummyhere · 01/12/2015 20:16

I don't think she should of been punished although even as a UK member I don't get this whole golden time thing out school don't do it. I would bring it up with the teacher. Thankfully our recent school news letter reminded parents that the homework is not mandatory and that if our children don't want to do it that's ok, they just have to write in the child's comment box on the homework why they didn't want to do it.

RabbitSaysWoof · 01/12/2015 20:27

God that's harsh. At least you know your dd has initiative, I hope you remind her that you think she's a bit excellent for that and future teachers will see it too. I don't have advice whether you should square up to the teacher, but it's a shame if she is demotivated by it. She sounds like a winner.

ofallthenerve · 01/12/2015 20:32

Yanbu. I'd probably speak to the teacher and find out what the problem was exactly. Sounds unduly harsh to me.

Damselindestress · 01/12/2015 20:45

It does sound harsh that she was punished for forgetting the homework sheet but still completing the homework in exactly the same way she would have been punished had she not bothered to do the homework at all. Totally demotivating. I would have a word with the teacher.

Brokenwardrobe · 01/12/2015 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 01/12/2015 22:06

Days thay is really bad!
I'm glad you are all impressed as I have done this a coupe of times when ds has forgotten his. I am 36 though :)

Original poster
DDDDDORA · 02/12/2015 20:58

So I spoke to DDs teacher, I asked her about the punishment and what lesson she was trying to teach DD, as we (me & DH) felt it was harsh as yes DD had forgotten to take her homework home but she used her initiative to find out what the homework was, so that she could do it and she handed in on time.
The teachers response was that DD hadn't received any punishment for forgetting her homework and she wasn't sure where DD had got this impression, I would've probably accepted that as DD has been known to get things confused except on the board where house points, golden time and other things are recorded DDs name had minus 5 minutes golden time - homework written. I questioned this and she quickly rubbed it out saying it was an error and wrote a different name (similar sounding) next to it.
I don't really know what to make of this, I did say that perhaps she should make sure that the right names are on the board in future.
The teacher has been really nice and fair up until now and DD adores her but it has put me off of her bit.

OP posts:
mikado1 · 02/12/2015 21:09

VU of the teacher. Dd showed herself to be responsible and independent here. I don't care once the homework is done!

mikado1 · 02/12/2015 21:10

Sorry hadn't rtft. What did your dd say? She obviously thought it was because of homework?

ofallthenerve · 02/12/2015 21:12

Well done OP. She was perhaps having a bad day, took it out on the first person who did something 'wrong' and never expected to be called out on it.

rollonthesummer · 02/12/2015 21:15

Thats very odd! Did she look embarrassed?? Did you have DD there? I think it would have been good to have DD there to hear what the teacher said and to tell her side.

Original poster
DDDDDORA · 02/12/2015 21:47

Yes DD was there, I asked DD and she said that the teacher had said, out loud, to the whole class as she wrote on the board the names of the 5 people who were losing golden time because of not taking the homework home or not doing the homework. DD and 1 other had left it on there desk when they left.
Teacher said DD must have misheard and she had said the other child's name.
DD doesn't know if the other child did the homework or not but it was definitely DDs name written on the board.
Maybe she was having a bad day and just wrote the wrong name but if I hadn't of queried it DD would have missed the 5 minutes for no reason, which wouldn't have been fair.

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 02/12/2015 21:50

Did the teacher look embarrassed when DD said that? That's not good!

sharoncarol43 · 02/12/2015 21:52

Hmm at reading names on the board in the classroom. it's none of your business who's name is there, you shouldn't be looking, and the teacher is right to wipe it off quickly.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 02/12/2015 21:56

Eh, it was the OP's own daughter's name on the board, and the whole reason for the meeting! Hmm

Original poster
DDDDDORA · 02/12/2015 21:59

Sharon thank you for your useful comment, next time I shall remember not to look when my DD points something out.
The teacher didn't look embarrassed, she was her usual friendly self.

OP posts:
sharoncarol43 · 02/12/2015 22:04

Eh, it was the OP's own daughter's name on the board, and the whole reason for the meeting

you don't know if it was or it wasn't, and having parents violating privacy like that is a breach of confidentiality and child protection issue.

Teachers are supposed to remove all names from sight before parents enter the room, but this is not always possible. Luckily you an count on most parents having the good manners and good sense not to read them, even if their DD does point at them

StealthPolarBear · 02/12/2015 22:06

Our school gives out class lists for writing Chrismas cards

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 02/12/2015 22:10

Well my children must go to an extremely unusual school then, as we are regularly invited to open days in their classrooms, where their names, and pictures are plastered everywhere (and yes, on the green, Amber, red behaviour chart), and we are actively encouraged to look at it all.

Seeing their environment is a very enjoyable and enlightening experience.

rollonthesummer · 02/12/2015 22:12

Teachers are supposed to remove all names from sight before parents enter the room

What?!

Please provide a link for legislation that asks for this.

girlsyearapart · 02/12/2015 22:14

I have had similar situations in my class (y6) I give the child 5 team points for iniative and tell them to let the person who photographed/copied the questions for them they have 5 too for being helpful.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 02/12/2015 22:14

And the teacher admitted that it was op's dd's name written on the board in error, and only quickly rubbed it out so she could replace it with the correct name right in front of the op.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 02/12/2015 22:15

Summer, I highly doubt that link will be forthcoming.

SavoyCabbage · 02/12/2015 22:29

Teachers must also bop every child on the head with a whiteboard eraser before they go home every afternoon so that they forget the names of the other dc in the class. It's time consuming but worth it as any child might illegally say the name of a friend otherwise.

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