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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Birthday present, a chair - who is BU ?

64 replies

Magichorse · 09/10/2015 10:40

Hello all,

I'd welcome your perspective here on who is BU, my DW or me....

I have a home office and I have an office chair / desk etc

My DW HATES the chair, and for months has been suggesting I get a new one (too big, the cats sleep on it, it has a rip in the seat etc)

I like it - it's comfy, it's good quality, it's perfectly serviceable and there's no need to change a perfectly good chair

Sooooo....it's my birthday in a couple of weeks and my DW wants to get me a new office chair. For my birthday. Yes. A chair she wants. For my birthday.

I think she is being unreasonable for

A. Getting me something that she wants for my birthday
B. Thinking I would love a new chair in general (I've told her I don't want / need one)

My DW thinks I am being unreasonable for not loving the concept of a birthday chair

So please, who IBU here ?

Thanks

BTW what I actually want are some stripey socks

OP posts:

DoJo · 09/10/2015 10:43

SIBU - a present should be something that the recipient wants, or that the giver at least thinks the recipient wants. A present that you have said you don't want and that she is likely to get more enjoyment out of than you is not a present in my book.

SaucyJack · 09/10/2015 10:47

She is BU.

If she thinks an office chair is such a great present, then you can get her one for Christmas.

PoppyFleur · 09/10/2015 10:48

Your wife is being very unreasonable and I say this as a person who shed tears of joy at my birthday gift of walking boots and waterproofs. If it is not something you want, need or would enjoy then its not really a gift.

My DH's office is his space and my office is mine, I would not appreciate any comments on how I keep my office and I pay him the same curtesy, offices have doors for a reason!

patterkiller · 09/10/2015 10:51

SIBU. My DH gave me a garden hose one year because I like gardening he said. In reality it was because he had split the previous one washing his car. I've never forgave him. Ever.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/10/2015 10:52

She is being unreasonable, its not a present for you, its for her. Tell her you don't want a chair, you will prefer something you like.

attheendoftheday · 09/10/2015 10:54

SIBU re the birthday present, that should be something she at least thinks you want.

However, I think the decision about replacing the chair should be a joint one as she presumably has to see it's scruffy rippedness, so it involves her too.

Forestdreams · 09/10/2015 10:58

SIBU. Offer to buy her one for Christmas instead.

However I think you should come up with an alternative present suggestion, not just stripey socks.

Ouriana · 09/10/2015 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 09/10/2015 11:04

You don't want a Birthday Chair?

What is WRONG with you?

kungfupannda · 09/10/2015 11:07

DS1's gym club does parties and they have a birthday throne.

You could ask for one of those.

Hullygully · 09/10/2015 11:08

yy get a throne. And a crown.

SlightlyAshamed1 · 09/10/2015 11:08

My husband had the same attitude to the office chair as you do. Then I threatened to show photos of the tattered, wrecked, slum of a chair to the neighbours. We got a new chair.

That said, YANBU as if you want stripey socks for your birthday then that is what you should get.

WorktoLive · 09/10/2015 11:10

SIBU as it's a present for her not you. I agree with you about not unnecessarily replacing servicable items due to minor cosmetic imperfections.

You say 'your office' - does she use it/need to go in it at all. If not - why does she even care?

This thread reminds me of the TV programme Frasier, where Frasier hated his Dad's chair, because it was old and scruffy and Frasier kept wanting to replace it with something smarter that fit in with his decor, but his Dad didn't want him to because he liked his existing chair.

But it sounds like it is not even your chair. If the cats sleep in it, it is their chair that they allow you to use for work for the purposes of earning them whiskas tokens.

RB68 · 09/10/2015 11:15

threaten her with a new iron or hoover for christmas if its about buying each other household chattels

HellKitty · 09/10/2015 11:16

YADNBU!
Ask her if she'd like some new pans for Christmas and see how far that goes!

Fiderer · 09/10/2015 11:16

We got old chairs donated at school and had a project with the children to decorate them. They were the Birthday chairs.

So tell her to pick an old wooden chair out of a skip, paint it in garish colours, decorate it with wonky butterflies or other animals/insects of her choice and then keep it in a cupboard. For 4 mins on your birthday you can sit on it while she sings you Happy Birthday.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/10/2015 11:18

Yes, she is being unreasonable.

kungfupannda · 09/10/2015 11:18

yy get a throne. And a crown.

And a velvet cloak. And insist on being addressed as Your Most Gracious Royal High Emperor of the Birthday Universe whenever you are seated at your desk.

TheSwallowingHandmaiden · 09/10/2015 11:19

LTB.

kungfupannda · 09/10/2015 11:19

For 4 mins on your birthday you can sit on it while she sings you Happy Birthday.

Or even better, every time you sit in the chair she has to sing Happy Birthday.

Fiderer · 09/10/2015 11:25

Or even better, every time you sit in the chair she has to sing Happy Birthday.

In the language of your choice. Start with Hungarian.

TheFormidableMrsC · 09/10/2015 11:26

YANBU. A gift for you should be something you want. My Ex-H once bought me an i-pod because he wanted one despite me saying about fifty times that I really didn't want one. So I bought him a lawnmower for Christmas.

Maybe that's why we're now divorced

cdtaylornats · 09/10/2015 11:27

New Vacuum Cleaner for her birthday?

multivac · 09/10/2015 11:35

I bought Mr multivac a fancy office chair for his birthday once. He hadn't had an office before, and we'd just got our first computer (cost about a grand, by the way, and had considerably less memory than my current phone). It made him very happy, and I still smile thinking of him gleefully spinning around on it and whooshing around the spare room using the wheels.

That said, SIBU, clearly. What does she have against socks, to go to such lengths?

MyNameIsInigoMontoya · 09/10/2015 11:41

YANBU. But maybe you can get the seat mended or get a new cover so it doesn't bother her so much? If it is really scruffy I can't blame her for not liking having it around. But it shouldn't be your birthday present all the same!

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