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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have a huge crush on a hunky man. AIBU to DH?

67 replies

telephoneexchange · 08/10/2015 18:59

This man is a friend of a friend and doesn't actually know I exist really. However, he is incredibly gorgeous and for some reason I cannot stop fantasising about him. I have even looked at his profile on FB even though this is very sad. I would hate DH to be having these thoughts about another women but he remains in my mind and I keep hoping I will see him again. I would never actually be unfaithful to DH. Ahhhh what is wrong with me?

OP posts:
JeffsanArsehole · 08/10/2015 19:00

You're a whore, that's what's wrong

Not really Wink

Normal crush, don't fuck him. I jerk off to Russell Crowe every week. He's so damn hot.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 08/10/2015 19:04

Ah, you're fine.

DP has a really hot friend I like to look at.

No different to admiring a painting in an art gallery or a particularly handsome owl.

Most erotic think we've done is drink tea in the same room. I'd never act on it. DP doesn't care.

Queenbean · 08/10/2015 19:13

Totally normal

Just make sure you never:

  1. Act on it or tell him
  2. Tell your dp
  3. Accidentally give one of his photos a like, particularly if it's a photo of him and his ex-girlfriend from 5 years ago that's really deep within the 8th album on his profile
Lweji · 08/10/2015 19:16

Perfectly normal.
He may also have a crush for someone.
What's important is not to act on it and keep it out of your mind as much as possible.

Liomsa · 08/10/2015 19:23

Perfectly withinin the bounds of acceptability unless you accidentally fall onto his penis while drinking tea in the same room.

Original poster
telephoneexchange · 08/10/2015 19:26

Don't give me ideas Liomsa! Thank you so much ladies - you've really made me laugh too. So relieved I am 'normal' Wink

OP posts:
miaowroar · 08/10/2015 19:28

No different to admiring ... a particularly handsome owl. Grin

ShebaShimmyShake · 08/10/2015 19:28

You're married, not dead. Enjoy the fantasy, keep it in your head where it belongs.

hmmmcupcakes456 · 08/10/2015 19:30

Haha Queenbean...#3 on your checklist is too true!!

We all do it I think :)

goawayalready · 08/10/2015 19:40

i like the smell of my ex's cousin im doing work experience where he works at the moment and he smells gorgeous i could dream about the smell!

all i need is a bloke who is single to smell like him and im sorted Grin

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours · 08/10/2015 19:43

Nowt wrong with it. I used to work with a particularly handsome chap and had the most enjoyable dirty dream about him.

I blushed so much the next day it was ridiculous!

Queenbean · 08/10/2015 19:44

Cupcakes, I'm speaking from bitter experience! Blush

sproketmx · 08/10/2015 23:20

Nah its normal. My hubby always knows when the guy from the brewery's due to come in the pub if I'm working a shift there coz I actually wear make up. It's ok to fantasise as long as you don't act on it

TheCraicDealer · 08/10/2015 23:29

My DP has a friend from home who is so obscenely handsome that I just stare when I see him. When he talks to me there's a noticeable pause of a few nano-seconds whilst I gather my thoughts and try to say something sensible. Last time we were out I went to his, GF "he's like, crazy hot.", and she just sighed and said, "I know" and looked at him with a loopy grin on her face. DP knows, because I am a woman with a pulse. I'd never act on it though even though he's apparently filthy in bed. Too handsome is sort of intimating. I'd forget where to put things.

suzannecaravaggio · 08/10/2015 23:45

*Just make sure you never:

  1. Accidentally give one of his photos a like, particularly if it's a photo of him and his ex-girlfriend from 5 years ago that's really deep within the 8th album on his profile*

hehehehe :o

PitilessYank · 09/10/2015 00:00

There is a really attractive man in my yoga class, and I always position my mat so that I am in a position to look at his bum when he bends over. My husband will remain unaware of this unless I start talking in my sleep.

That is all I have to report.

geekymommy · 09/10/2015 00:19

YABU to think you shouldn't have crushes, and that DH shouldn't. Those thoughts aren't something you made yourself have, and you can't make them go away. They will eventually go away on their own.
Now, that doesn't mean you should act on a crush. You don't control your thoughts, but you do control your actions.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/10/2015 09:37

Carry on having your fantasies about this man. While they still haven't taxed them.

Drew64 · 09/10/2015 10:16

I'm cool with my DW crushes so in my mind it's ok but I don't know your DP/DH

LucozadeBreath · 09/10/2015 10:20

As long as you don't act on it, I don't see a problem Smile
DH and I have a "celebrities we are allowed to shag if the occasion arises" list....not that the occasion would ever arise! And we are always making jokes if we see someone from either of our lists on telly. (DH says he will rip Alexander Skarsgard's cock off, and I tell him that Miranda Kerr has boy tits Grin)
It's perfectly natural to find other people attractive - aren't humans designed to always want an attractive mate from caveman times?!

EponasWildDaughter · 09/10/2015 10:25

I would hate DH to be having these thoughts about another women

There is no need to beat yourself up about these feelings, it is natural. However just keep the above in mind.

birdsdestiny · 09/10/2015 10:25

TheCraic, are on sure she is telling the truth, everyone knows the really handsome are not at all filthy. I have researched this.

maybebabybee · 09/10/2015 10:26

I have such a crush on a guy at work. I was in the lift with him the other day and felt like I was about fourteen when you pass the boy you like in the school corridor and go bright red. Completely tragic at the age of 26, and 18 weeks pregnant.

I love my OH though, that's the important thing :) Fantasise away!

EponasWildDaughter · 09/10/2015 10:28

Just to add - it's the ''hoping i'll see him again'' that would tip it over the line a bit from me.

I know my DH looks at other women sometimes. Fine. But i'd hate to think of him spending head space wondering when he'll see her again.

LouieLou2013 · 09/10/2015 10:28

You can look at the menu, just don't order from it