I have a huge crush on a hunky man. AIBU to DH?

[telephoneexchange]

This man is a friend of a friend and doesn't actually know I exist really. However, he is incredibly gorgeous and for some reason I cannot stop fantasising about him. I have even looked at his profile on FB even though this is very sad. I would hate DH to be having these thoughts about another women but he remains in my mind and I keep hoping I will see him again. I would never actually be unfaithful to DH. Ahhhh what is wrong with me?

Crushes are normal. And it's doesn't sound anything more than a silly crush. It will fade - they always do.

There is the most beautiful man at work - he looks like a young Brando. It is most disconcerting and he's really nice and funny, too. Everyone has a crush on him to start with and then familiarity gradually breeds contempt :)

yanbu. You're married not blind. Never a problem with window shopping, just don't go and buy anything....

This thread has cheered me up no end! Absolutely brilliant!

I have a 20 year long singer crush, he is solo touring and tried to have a polite chat with me at the gig I went to. I think I squeaked.

I'm happily married, but have had a crush on somebody for a while. It's not a threat to our marriage, I know I'll never act on it. Having said that, I can now understand why people say there was nothing wrong with their marriage, they were just tempted by somebody else and thought they wouldn't get caught.

However, I'd be quite upset if I knew DH felt this way about another woman. Totally irrational, I know...

If I was single I would climb him like a tree.

This made me !

If you wouldn't like your partner to do this then you should woman up and stop it. If you have enough self control to stay physically faithful then you have enough self control to stop yourself looking at his FB profile and fantasizing about him.

The only reason you're not is because you're enjoying the 'thrill' of fantasizing. At the expense of your integrity.

It's not really all that much about the object of the crush is it...more that you are using them as a template for your own imagination?

Think this is true. I've had crushes on people at various times (DH and I have been together for 20 years, he's fab and I can't imagine sleeping with or living with or having children with anyone else) and it's all about the surrounding story much more than the so called object of my affections. And there's something addictive about the beginning of a relationship, presumably it's why people have affairs but also why rom coms are so popular, that 'ah, he loves me' moment (in either a romantic or sexual sense) that you don't get in a LTR because you are sure of the love.

Been stalking a hunk on the bus for the past 18months. Makes my journey to work so much better.

I had an old flatmate who claimed a crush was necessary to make the boring parts of your day move more quickly, I think there's some sense in that.

I have a lot of crushes. I would never act on them and I am happily married but I just can't help fancying other men.

I think it's pretty normal, fancying someone isn't something you can control. My rule is that as long as it's only in my head and I don't actually do anything then it's fine.

I'm sure DH does the same thing, and it doesn't bother me because I know he would never cheat on me.

Beware the celebrities that you're allowed to shag list!
I actually met mine. .....

I saw a guy in a café last year who was just arresting. Not just handsome, he had one of those faces that looked carved, like a fallen angel. I was with my friend and was like, 'I want to take a photo of him!' Needless to say she wouldn't let me stroll up and ask him for a photo, just as well one of us had our wits about us :o

The worst thing was he saw me looking and normally I would blush and look away if caught in the act but he was so mesmerising I couldn't look away so just looked like a creepy, middle-aged female stalker

Talking of hunks on a bus, about 3 years ago a guy got on he was like an Angel he had a kilt on chunky jumper and flowing blond hair he was a vision he got off before me and me and the woman in front had our noses on the window watching him and his swishy hair walk away sigh "

Hunks on a Bus. That's a film I'd watch.

the fantasizing thing is normal, most people do that as it's not dangerous it's as it says on the tin - a 'fantasy'

Not sure the 'hoping I'll see them again' is so healthy though, sounds like it might be taking up a tad too much head space for my liking. Same for the FB peeking/stalking , but appreciate I'm probably in the minority with that one. I'm the only one in my group of friends who finds it creepy to check out peoples profile you're not actual friends with, couldn't be arsed more than anything.

I had an unwanted crush once on a colleague, but I had to start working with him more closely and it wore off the more I got to know him! I was so relieved and he will never know!

I also still have a crush on a retired politician that I can't shake. Weird.

I had a huge crush on one of dhs friends once, it was so silly! Then the three of us went away for a long weekend together, for a mutual hobby, and shared a suite due to to finances... Killed the crush stone dead.
It's hard to crush on someone when you know their poo schedule in the morning. That is all...

I'm sure my DP has crushes on lots of people. I don't want to know about them. And I don't tell him about mine

I have a crush on a man I work with (not very closely, thank God; I don't think I could handle it). It cheers up a dull or stressful work day.

I also have a new crush on a beautiful man who works in a cafe I went to this weekend. He's WAY too young for me I would ruin him. I will NOT be telling DP that one either; it'd be too awkward if we go back there again.

Crushes are fine!