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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I have a huge crush on a hunky man. AIBU to DH?

67 replies

telephoneexchange · 08/10/2015 18:59

This man is a friend of a friend and doesn't actually know I exist really. However, he is incredibly gorgeous and for some reason I cannot stop fantasising about him. I have even looked at his profile on FB even though this is very sad. I would hate DH to be having these thoughts about another women but he remains in my mind and I keep hoping I will see him again. I would never actually be unfaithful to DH. Ahhhh what is wrong with me?

OP posts:

RainbowCake · 09/10/2015 10:28

A gorgeous specimen of a man who smelt fantastic came into my place of work last week, I nearly lost the power of speech. It was most unnerving

EponasWildDaughter · 09/10/2015 10:30

i feel like i'm being a miserable cow on a lighthearted thread now!

Gottagetmoving · 09/10/2015 10:31

I would hate DH to be having these thoughts about another women

It is more than likely he does,..and probably not just about one..

Stylingwax · 09/10/2015 10:32

Alas since meeting my DP four years ago I haven't had a decent crush apart from Henry Cavill who I would jump the bones of Actually quite disappointing and I hope that changes soon.

totalrecall1 · 09/10/2015 11:20

Well at least he is attractive. I had an erotic dream about someone at work who, to put it mildly, is not a looker. I still feel disgusted with myself and that was one yar ago.

AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 09/10/2015 11:28

Yep, I find the most important thing to remember about crushes is that if they're intense they tend to fade away as quickly as they arrive. Enjoy it while it's there, in the safe knowledge that it will go (assuming you heed all the "not accidentally falling onto cock" warnings above).

Flashbangandgone · 09/10/2015 13:31

I would hate DH to be having these thoughts about another women

I'm sorry to break it to you, but he almost certainly has had/does have thoughts about other women!

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 09/10/2015 14:12

Flashbang - I don't think it's almost certain at all, actually.

I think there is a difference between a crush, someone you seen in the street or occasionally at work or somewhere, and think "they're rather nice" and someone that you check out on Facebook, fantasise about them sexually, and hoping you'll see them again.

Have to say, as a guy, I must be unusual, as I've never fantasised about any other woman when I've been in a relationship, long term or short term. I've found someone attractive, but I've certainly not looked them up on Facebook or fantasised about them.

ahbollocks · 09/10/2015 14:24

Yanbu. I've got a stinking great crush on a guy in work, he's a different department though.
I just try to avoid looking at him or talking to him
He has body like the guys in romance novels, is a coast guard in his spare time and does thing where he takes off his glasses and cleans them on his shirt, which highlights perfectly above mentioned body.
If I was single I woukd climb him like a tree.

AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 09/10/2015 16:25

as a guy, I must be unusual, as I've never fantasised about any other woman when I've been in a relationship, long term or short term.

This is interesting. How long is long term?

Donge13 · 09/10/2015 16:29

Been stalking a hunk on the bus for the past 18months. Makes my journey to work so much better.

TheCraicDealer · 09/10/2015 16:38

Nah, birds- DP and handsome man's other friends have been informed by a number of his conquests (not gf's) that he's an amazing shag.

Life is so unfair.

Muckogy · 09/10/2015 16:49

i wouldn't feel guilty about it.
most husbands usually have at least one crush on the go.

suzannecaravaggio · 09/10/2015 16:58

It's not really all that much about the object of the crush is it...more that you are using them as a template for your own imagination?

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 09/10/2015 18:28

Another - My longest relationship was 11 years, living together for 10 years (from the ages of 26-37). I call that long-term. I'm 42 now btw.

80schild · 09/10/2015 18:38

YANBU. You are Normal and human. My crush is such a lovely person and has the most gorgeous voice in the history of the world - thinking about it makes me slightly weak kneed.

2ndSopranosRule · 09/10/2015 18:46

YANBU.

I get flustered round my 50-something boss sometimes. Especially when he folds his arms in a certain way and I can see his muscles through his shirt .

I'm human. And dh has a massive thing about Suzanna Reid.

AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 09/10/2015 18:46

Yes I call that long, too, still. Wow. Really not a single other-woman fantasy?

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 09/10/2015 18:48

No, genuinely not. I'm obviously weird

AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 09/10/2015 18:52

Yes, weird.
But in a good way of course.

Mrsjayy · 09/10/2015 18:55

Dh friend is hawt i have to hide my blushes everytime i see him usually at weddings and whatnot last time i saw him he was wearing a kilt . Its fine just enjoy it

HellKitty · 09/10/2015 18:57

I don't think he's weird!
I used to fantasise a lot in my previous excuse of a marriage. I've now been with DP 5 years and haven't at all. I do give him phwoar looks when he's getting changed and I don't think he can see me though, so my DP is my perv on.

AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 09/10/2015 19:16

Nah, still weird, it just that you are too HellKitty

Gutterflower · 09/10/2015 19:22

I have a proper girly crush on one of my DH workmates. I go really giggly when we see him which isn't like me at all. Husband knows all about it (there's no way he could miss it really) but just laughs about it because it is what it is, just a crush

EponasWildDaughter · 09/10/2015 19:24

hellkitty - same here!

My first marriage was not right. We were incompatible and far too young to see it. And with him i used to fantasise about being with someone else each and every time we had sex. For 15 years this was. I virtually lived in a fantasy world. Awful way to behave and a terrible way to live.

Been with my DH for 9 years now and i can say hand on heart i've never ever done more than given another bloke maybe a passing glance in the street, let alone fantasised about anyone.

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