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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Headmaster is wrong to be FB friends with parents...

75 replies

minionmadness · 31/08/2015 23:47

Just that really. Just seems wrong to me and generally seems very unprofessional but prepared to be told I am wrong.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 31/08/2015 23:49

Is it his personal FB? If so then I'm surprised that it isn't a breach of LEA policy.

It would be in my LEA.

He's on very dodgy ground, with what he could be linked to, unless, these were good friends first and their child became a pupil.

PrincessHairyMclary · 31/08/2015 23:51

I guess it depends on whether he is friends with them outside of school or whether he uses Facebook as a professional account like a Linked in one.

hibbleddible · 31/08/2015 23:52

Maybe he/she knew the parents personally, and there children then happened to attend the school?

Original poster
minionmadness · 31/08/2015 23:54

es, personal FB. Only stumbled across it because she became a member of my ds's Beavers FB group (which is a closed group) and don't know why since she doesn't have a child involved.

It isn't just a few, it's quite a lot of parents and of all different ages too so can't imagine they were all friends previously but could be wrong.

OP posts:
saoirse31 · 31/08/2015 23:56

Struggling to see the issue really.. Providing she's willing to be friends with all parents who want that. Would think she's professional or not and if she is, then she will be re Facebook use also... Its a new world community action and connection wise.

saoirse31 · 31/08/2015 23:57

Communication not community action...

Original poster
minionmadness · 01/09/2015 00:08

Just me then... Grin

I'm not FB friends with anyone who works for me (senior manager) as this could potentially present issues with impartiality during a disciplinary or dispute. This was my reason for questioning this really.

OP posts:
NewLife4Me · 01/09/2015 00:11

Most of dds teachers are personal friends of the family or dhs they are all on both our fb.
They were friends first, then dd joined the school.

annandale · 01/09/2015 00:11

The newish head teacher of my ds's old school appears to be FB friends with some parents (not with me, not that I've asked). I think it's both reckless and daft, since the potential complications are quite difficult. But no doubt they have thought about it and decided it's manageable.

hollieberrie · 01/09/2015 00:20

I'm Shock at this. Is it a private school? I'm a teacher and in our Local Authority this is strictly not allowed. Even staff who also have their own children at the school are not allowed to be friends with other parents on FB.

ReginaBlitz · 01/09/2015 00:29

I think it's wrong. I'm not but know people that are, and one of them is the biggest gossip in the village. Another thing I've seen is the deputy head on local selling groups frequently nabbing all the freebies ???? and giving a detailed reason as to why she needs them I think that's a bit much bearing in mind 90% of the Members are mums from school.

Original poster
minionmadness · 01/09/2015 00:34

No, not a private school and the headmaster is a she. I had a quick look at her page and although it's not completely open, there are status updates visible.

Seems opinion is split...

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 01/09/2015 00:47

Gross misconduct here.

hattyhatter · 01/09/2015 00:53

A village school?

saoirse31 · 01/09/2015 07:52

Gross misconduct? Facebook friends generally range from close to no idea who the person is and all stages in BT. Its essentially lets people see who a persons friends, casual acquaintances and random people they may or may not know, are.

Still not seeing the misconduct issue.

Mrsjayy · 01/09/2015 07:57

Are they on the Pta school board or goveners ? Maybe thats why still its really over familiar isnt it

ValancyJane · 01/09/2015 08:00

If they were friends beforehand, it's not really an issue, I've known teachers in my school to have parents as friends because they live in that area and know them socially.

IguanaTail · 01/09/2015 08:01

It's not gross misconduct. But it's also not advisable, for the reasons you have stated. Not good judgement I would say.

titchy · 01/09/2015 08:03

I think regardless of whether people think it's wrong or not, it's something the LEAregards as wrong and I'd be going with their stance, and wondering why she's so happy to flout their rules.

jpgirl · 01/09/2015 08:03

Here in Japan it's absolutely fine for teachers to be friends with students on Facebook, comment on their photos, share photos etc. I teach here and the students get upset when I won't accept their FB friend requests.

It is also totally accepted for teachers to ask students out on dates - but only once they've left school! My colleagues were amazed by my jaw dropping once I found out that one of the teachers was actually in a relationship with an ex-student.

Sorry, not really related to the OP but I just find these cultural differences really interesting and a little bit worrying. Smile

IguanaTail · 01/09/2015 08:04

But only half of schools are now in LAs. The rest are academies and form their own standards. And some LAs may not have directives about facebook.

IguanaTail · 01/09/2015 08:05

Can't believe Japan! And I thought they would be even more distant!

LarrytheCucumber · 01/09/2015 08:06

Yanbu.

attheendoftheday · 01/09/2015 09:35

I've been wondering about this, dd1 starts school on Thursday and I'm fb friends with the headteacher. But we are actually friends, went to uni together. Is that OK or not? I obviously won't be offended if he unfriends me, but should I be unfriending him?

Spidertracker · 01/09/2015 09:40

I am a TA and I am not on Facebook or Twitter because the possible blurring of lines makes me uncomfortable.
I know you can lockdown your accounts but even so, it feels an unnecessary risk. That said the school I work at has lots of staff that are also parents so are actually friends with other parents and this does include the head.