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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it just where i live that this happens? In need of everything?

53 replies

mysticlogistic · 28/08/2015 23:13

I know its a FB one, I know I know..
But they have sites locally where people give things away like freckle, great. And occasionally people ask if theres something specific they're in need of i.e "My hoover's just bust, is anybody getting rid of one". And I know there are lots of genuinely needy situations out there that this kind of generosity really comes to fruition with like people coming out of hostels or being thrown out of home ect.
But where I live there seems to be posts up almost every day along these lines. And this is a direct quote.
"Hi all, my brother in law is in need of everything as he has just got his first flat". These seem to be on there every day. Im more just astounded that people have the cheek.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 28/08/2015 23:15

Why don't they go on FreeCycle? People want to get rid of things there.

Original poster
mysticlogistic · 28/08/2015 23:19

I just can't understand how some of them choose to rent flats or whatever with no forethought of how they would get anything for themselves other than the "get people to give me everything" mentality

OP posts:
GloriaHotcakes · 28/08/2015 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rollonthesummer · 28/08/2015 23:26

Yep-my local freecycle site is like that. People asking for baby condition-must be brand new. Or people wanting a pink high chair for a girl and being offered a lovely not pink one-getting rude responses like, 'I said I wanted a GIRL one!!!!???'

Pushchair wanted-must be Bugaboo and must be in excellent condition....

Charlesroi · 28/08/2015 23:30

I'd imagine some of these people "moving in to a flat" are actually looking for free stuff they can sell at a profit.
So if you are giving stuff away(and it's important to you that it goes to someone in need) just be careful.

Original poster
mysticlogistic · 28/08/2015 23:33

Seriously rollonthesummer? Id just be mortified! I just sat staring at it thinking how does anybody even write that?

OP posts:
NobodyLivesHere · 28/08/2015 23:35

in my first flat we had a bed, an old small tv and a bedside table. then i got a small inheritance which bought us a second hand fridge and a washing machine. we didn't have a sofa for 3 months. i moved in with nothing because i didn't actually have any choice, not everyone has parents or family they can live with until they can save up for furniture.

gamerchick · 28/08/2015 23:35

There's regular posts by one girl who's after a specific child's bedroom set from ikea. Must be mint condition, very cheap and must deliver.

She's getting it all slowly as well Hmm

TheExMotherInLaw · 28/08/2015 23:59

At risk of outing myself here, but I moderate a few UK based reuse groups - not f*ckcycle.
Those who post wanting 'everything' can be genuine, at at least it gives them some stuff to get on with - it's amazing what people do give away. Sometimes, those who have started with nothing then go on to offer a lot of stuff as they manage to get things that suit them better, match etc.
Those who ask for specific stuff and in perfect condition really press my buttons, tho. I allow their posts on the message board so that all the other members can clearly see what grabby gits they are.
If you suspect someone is selling stuff on when you've specified it's for personal use, let the moderators know - if it's a good group, and you have proof, eg photos in a shop, ebay listing, then the offender can be kicked out - sometimes out of the whole network.

Sazzle41 · 29/08/2015 01:55

Well they do it because if you dont ask you dont get and its a cheapskate way to get basics probably. I'd rather get stuff in a house sale: People who have been here a year for work then relocate back overseas have house sales on gumtree all time, you get barely used qood quality stuff for pennies. Wouldnt have thought of asking for free as if it is, is it decent quality/has it had a lot of hammer and so prob need replacing quick is my take. Surely people dont give away good quality for free?

Bogeyface · 29/08/2015 02:52

I am very grateful that my cousin and I dont share the same surname as she is frankly an embarrassment.

She is on our local FB "free stuff" group at least twice a week asking for stuff. She got a puppy, and was then asking for a crate, car barrier things (whatever they are called), advice for cheap/free vet care......

She posted once saying "Does anyone have a PSP and games?" I soooo wanted to reply with "Yes we do, we saved up and bought it" but I didnt as it would have caused ructions in an already dodgy family situation!

She also posted asking for a sewing machine so I replied saying that I had just got a bargain in eBay for £25 and whilst not top of the range, is a good sturdy machine, so maybe she could try there. She deleted her thread and reposted! She never asks for cheap stuff, its bikes, leather sofas, bunk beds with mattresses (please deliver as my car is too small) and then posting on her profile her holiday, new car, puppy, husband..........All I can say is that her mother was constantly on the phone to me about her PC a few years ago and the apple didnt fall far from the the tree. I fixed it and wasnt even offered a cup of tea for my trouble, needless to say I wouldnt give them the steam of my piss now.

Bogeyface · 29/08/2015 02:53

off not of!

gingersnapdragon · 29/08/2015 06:17

There's one particular woman on my local area Facebook page who needs everything 'free or v v cheap'. Firstly to fully fit out her brother's house, and now she seems to be doing her own. Oh, and you must deliver your free items to her as she has no car. I can't believe how much stuff she gets offered, so I suppose it pays off for her.

ChilliAndMint · 29/08/2015 06:36

I used to freecycle a lot and I've had some great finds and so have the people who've collected my unwanted items.
I always ask people to explain in detail why they want such and such after giving away a nearly new bike only to find this " hard up" person had photos of hubby's second car on facebook.

Bettybooby · 29/08/2015 07:35

I hate it. In my town there are the same people asking for stuff every day. They live their lives through it.
I didn't realise this and helped one of them with some very expensive software as they were 'desperate.'
It was worth £100 at least.
Anyway it was never installed. I can tell this because I can track when the software is downloaded.
Can't have been very desperate at all.

Bettybooby · 29/08/2015 07:37

Ooh freecycle too! I once had a lady ask if she could clear up my garage for me and made a pile of stuff she wanted and I had to say no to all of it. I couldn't get her out of there I was only offering a glue gun!

mollie123 · 29/08/2015 07:46

bogey do people really offer 'puppies' on freecycle - surely there should be a restriction on 'live' things. Shock

PerfectlyPosed · 29/08/2015 08:02

There was a girl on one near me who had her baby a few weeks early so was desperate for a lot of stuff quite quickly. People were really generous and all delivered stuff round to her. A couple of weeks later, she was selling a lot of it on!

MidniteScribbler · 29/08/2015 08:06

I've been banned from a few. Apparently the appropriate response to 'Does anyone know where I can get fridge/sofa/Wii/bike/etc?' is not 'try a shop'. Who knew .

PegsPigs · 29/08/2015 08:35

It annoys me so much! Chancers!

queenrollo · 29/08/2015 08:56

i left most of my local ones because it was the same grabby people shouting 'dibs' every time something was posted. I know the admins and they found it frustrating.
Lots of stuff being claimed and then sold on too, and those people were kicked out of the group.
The policy on most of them was that you could gift to the person you wanted to, not who responded first and that just lead to loads of moaning posts about 'i asked first. why did you give it to so and so?'....
It's a wonder the admins keep it running.

As a previous poster said though, there were times when someone requested everything for a new flat. They graciously accepted whatever was offered and then re-gifted later when they found their feet and replaced with things that fit their own style.

It's not all bad, but I found the majority was just so grabby.

chelle792 · 29/08/2015 09:08

I just wanted to add a happy freecycle story....
When I left uni I moved into a flat by scraping together money working in a pub all summer. I had to fund six weeks without a paycheck and was maxed out to my over draft when I moved in to the place.
I managed to pick up a lovely Hmm green sofa and armchair complete with tassels and pink flowers my nan loved it it was fantastic quality and the comfiest sofa in the world.
The people I got it from had also picked it up from freecycle as they were having a refit and needed a temporary sofa for four months or so. I had it for about 18 months and then readvertised back on freecycle.
It was then moving on to its fourth owner and still had lots of life in it

ghostspirit · 29/08/2015 10:01

i think its ok to ask for delivery. when i have used simlar places in the past i have as i dont drive/have a car and if i did not ask i would have missed out on stuff i needed. but i did offer money for delivery.

there is a free site on fb. but i left it as admin wont allow you to ask for delivery. so i felt that was not fair on people who dont drive or have no way of getting the item...i would rather give something to a site thats fair on all people.

i did ask admin about it but they just said i dont drive but my dad will pick up for me...good for you

LoveAGoodRummage · 29/08/2015 10:06

I moved out of a shared flat and was broke. I manage to source most things second hand and cheap but went on Freecycle asking for a microwave, toaster and a bin. I got two out of three and was ever so grateful. People in genuine need are out there!

The admins on my group seem to understand that there are those who will sell items on and advise honesty in those circumstances. Who knows if they are?

Bambambini · 29/08/2015 10:15

I don't usually care who or where it goes to. One couple pics on her FB page did put me off giving her something though. I have stuff i want rid of and don't want to just bin it if people can use it. I don't really care unless they come across rudely. It was too much hassle at times though and folk can mess you about.I have had folk asking me to deliver (i have if it was not out of my way) or wanting multiple pics - it's bloody free!