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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Invoice addressed to husband

67 replies

tbtc · 13/08/2015 14:21

Just that. Invoice is addressed to husband, not me (who has had ALL dealing with them), not both of us (as would be expected).

IABU to expect invoices to be addressed to both parents.

RAGE.

OP posts:
hesterton · 13/08/2015 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

browneyedgirl86 · 13/08/2015 14:31

Yanbu. I have had this. When we got our joint mortgage the bank sent a welcome to the new house package containing chocolate, wine and a tiny diy kit. They addressed it solely to my DP even though they knew it was a joint account.

tbtc · 13/08/2015 14:33

hester It looks automatically generated. From a school my son is due to start in Sept.

OP posts:
CurlyBlueberry · 13/08/2015 14:37

Yanbu. Our nursery address the invoices to both of us. They are sensible and I value them highly!

Our bank not only addresses both of us but has me first - Mrs and Mr Blueberry Grin

ivykaty44 · 13/08/2015 14:38

I bet you had to sign t say you were not label to pa hees if you split up .?

SewingAndCakes · 13/08/2015 14:42

Yanbu. When we got our joint mortgage, DH was sent an email saying that if he transferred his bank account to the same provider, they'd give him £100 for transferring it, and £100 as a bonus. I transferred my bank account to them, received the first £100, but not the second. We've complained and asked why it applied to him and not me, but apparently "data protection" prevents them discussing DH's emails with me and vice versa. Grrr.

mollie123 · 13/08/2015 14:52

somebody has to be the primary addressee / come first -
what a lot of fuss about who it is. How would the male addressee feel if everything was addressed to Mrs X or Mrs X came before mr x
of course data protection does not allow either party's emails to be discussed with the other (and vice versa) - obviously it should have been clear that only one of you would get the bonus £100 - could have been you or him but not both. Hmm

hesterton · 13/08/2015 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hesterton · 13/08/2015 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FarFromAnyRoad · 13/08/2015 15:01

What bonus £100?

FarFromAnyRoad · 13/08/2015 15:02

Oh I see - the bonus £100 that's nothing to do with the OP. Yawn.

auntpetunia · 13/08/2015 15:02

To be honest it does just sound like the school system. If when you filled in the application form you Mr tbtc first and then you, then he becomes primary parent and person bills/letters are addressed to, same would work with phone priority.

lunar1 · 13/08/2015 15:04

Who paid?

tbtc · 13/08/2015 16:02

Everything to do with the school has been done by me. I'll have to check but I believe the bank account details they have are mine.

Sure, they have details of both of us and email communication goes to both of us, so why not invoices? There is no data protection involved in an invoice.

Bla bla...just get fed up with it. Why is the default the man?

OP posts:
FithColumnist · 13/08/2015 16:05

It could be alphabetic, or it could simply be the order in which names were registered. I honestly can't think of a situation where a school would go out of their way just to ensure that the "important stuff" is addressed to a Man (with the implication that a woman shouldn't have to worry her pretty little head about it)

LurkingHusband · 13/08/2015 16:08

Be a shame if that invoice went unpaid because your husband works abroad for weeks on end. It would be even more of a shame that the school would pretty much have to suck it up, since any court would agree that it's their mistake, not yours.

Or you could point that out to them ....

LurkingHusband · 13/08/2015 16:09

Personally, I'd punt a pound to a penny there is some shit software at the bottom of this ...

tbtc · 13/08/2015 16:10

If it's alphabetic my name would be first.

I am going to contact them, just wanted a rant.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 13/08/2015 16:15

I doubt someone has gone out of their way to address it to a man Fith but sadly I think thats worse - I think so many people automatically put men first in names and invoice the man of the couple. Casual sexism.

I'm an accountant OP, if I were you I would ring them up and say "Sorry the invoice is addressed to the wrong person, I'm paying it please reissue the invoice so I have the right details for my records. I'm so sorry you need to reissue it - I'd just assumed as I'd been the contact person all the way along that you're realise it was being paid by me".

It's not a lot of work to reissue an invoice.

BeaufortBelle · 13/08/2015 16:17

I don't think I'd fuss about it - I just smile sweetly and say "yours darling". But having had a hospital apt this afternoon it really pissed me off that nurses were calling Mr Blogg out for male patients and Jane Bloggs for women. Why do nurses address the doctor as Dr Smith but use my first name? The doctors don't have a problem telling me their first name when I politely say "hello, I'm Susan, what's your name?"

Kewcumber · 13/08/2015 16:17

No - I doubt there's no shit softeware at the bottom of it. I've used many many different accounting systems - they all print out on the invoice detials whatever you type in, they don't make it up themselves. Someone has made the decision to put DH in as the invoice payer. (Quite possibly unthinkingly after all its the men that earn the money and the ladies do the scholl pick up Hmm)

LurkingHusband · 13/08/2015 16:28

No - I doubt there's no shit softeware at the bottom of it. I've used many many different accounting systems

If an offshore development house was used, and they were given a sample invoice which started "Mr." then that is what they will deliver.

I've fixed many different accounting systems, and developers being clever with names is constant bugbear. The most common (and annoying) is an insistence that all names have a capital letter at the start and the rest lower case. Doesn't go down too well when the LeClercs, and deMontforts get misspelled investment statements ...

Especially in todays Cloudy world, where there are a plethora of online services.

LurkingHusband · 13/08/2015 16:29

nurses were calling Mr Blogg out for male patients and Jane Bloggs for women

To avoid disclosing marital status ? Especially as "Ms" can be a tad inflammatory.

tbtc · 13/08/2015 17:02

lurking How about Firstname Secondname for everyone?

kew I'm earning all the money AND doing the pick ups (from the bus station).

OP posts:
LurkingHusband · 13/08/2015 17:05

How about Firstname Secondname for everyone?

works for me. I was just suggesting one reason for the disparity.