Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Invoice addressed to husband

67 replies

tbtc · 13/08/2015 14:21

Just that. Invoice is addressed to husband, not me (who has had ALL dealing with them), not both of us (as would be expected).

IABU to expect invoices to be addressed to both parents.

RAGE.

OP posts:

FryOneFatManic · 14/08/2015 11:53

I get what you're saying, LurkingHusband.

In our household, DP and I have different names, so while some things have been paid jointly, what really happens is that the letter is opened by the person who's name is showing, and then passed between us depending on who is actually dealing with stuff.

Which is generally me .

Icimoi · 14/08/2015 12:33

Tell them the 19th century called and wants its patriarchal attitudes back.

muminhants1 · 14/08/2015 12:33

YANBU. it really annoys me too especially as we pay all the bills from a joint account and when you phone them they won't speak to me because I'm not on the account. When I ask why I'm not on the account they say they can only put one name on the account. Sigh. At least now for a couple of accounts we have a password so they will speak to me.

LurkingHusband · 14/08/2015 13:41

they say they can only put one name on the account

can't be a very good supplier then. Find one that can.

Original poster

tbtc · 14/08/2015 13:42

Reply received:

Please accept my apologies for the invoice addressee being incorrect.

The change to the invoice recipient name has now been made. All of the future invoicing will now be to Mr and Mrs NNNNN as per your request.

Kind regards,

NNN

Job done. Apology and corrected. And I don't believe they will regard me as one of "those parents".

OP posts:

LurkingHusband · 14/08/2015 13:57

Job done. Apology and corrected

Well, let's wait and see ...

TrueBlueYorkshire · 14/08/2015 14:04

The correct etiquette is to write the letter to Mr and Mrs but use the full name of the male for example; Mr and Mrs George Smith, such as is done when extending an invitation to friends.

FithColumnist · 14/08/2015 14:13

It might be correct etiquette, but it's still sexist as hell.

TrueBlueYorkshire · 14/08/2015 14:18

Agreed

MuffMuffTweetAndDave · 14/08/2015 15:33

It's not even correct etiquette, actually. Correct etiquette is to address people with the title they use, as even Debretts is clear on now.

Anyway OP, glad you did something about it. Contrary to some of the posts in this thread, it is important and it does matter.

SanityClause · 14/08/2015 15:45

I am sure you won't be one of "those" parents. The chances of the people In the bursar's office speaking to teaching staff are very slim. In fact, it would show a lack of confidentiality if they did discuss anything to do with finances with people who have no need to know.

(You certainly wouldn't expect the teaching staff to discuss your DC's academic progress with the bursar's office people, either.)

mrsplum2015 · 14/08/2015 15:47

Interestingly enough our school invoices are only addressed to me, and I've got no personal income to pay them , but the school office probably wouldn't even recognise dh,!! I'm their primary (only) contact even though they must have details of him on file and he would hate to be ignored (if he ever bothered to cast his eye over any invoices, or mail full stop come to that!)

DirtyMugPolice · 14/08/2015 15:48

We recently applied for a mortgage and om the full application on the final page where both of us had to sign it had

Mr His Initials Dirty Mug

And

Mrs His initials Dirty Mug

I did query this with the lender - why am not allowed my own initials?! Apparently it's an automated thing with married couples. Sucks though and apparently they will have my correct name on the account.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 14/08/2015 15:58

I kept my name on marriage and my husband seems to get called Mr Punani far more than I get called Mrs His name.

Original poster

tbtc · 14/08/2015 16:01

sanity I know. I'm not really worried about being marked as one of "those parents", certainly not over this issue anyway.

OP posts:

Lonecatwithkitten · 14/08/2015 16:04

Sorry for late return tbtc glad you have had a satisfactory answer. I always find contacting the bursar direct for financial matters most satisfactory. The bursar is usually acutely aware that the school is a business and it is important to keep it's customers happy.
The bursary has limited contact with the teaching staff so the teaching staff are rarely aware of any issues you have raised with the bursary so it won't mark you out.

WitchOfAlba · 22/08/2015 18:13

I objected to getting a letter addressed to me which assumed that I had the same surname as my DD. We don't have the same surname and I filled in all of the paperwork with my surname. When I spoke to the school they blamed it on the computer, they didn't seem to get why I didn't accept that excuse, after all somebody presumably typed my name on to the computer. They just assumed that all women who are/have been married have the same surname as their husband/ex-husband.

Flip

1 2 3