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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DH to wear a wedding ring?

81 replies

Elfina · 01/08/2015 22:03

I suspect I am.

He says that wearing it bugs him because of the sensation. I think he'd get used to it if he'd wear one for a decent length of time! He is generally a hit funny about sensory things. I know it shouldn't matter, but I'd love him to!

OP posts:
WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 01/08/2015 22:04

If my DH hadn't wanted to wear one I would have gone ali g with that so long as he didn't expect me to wear one either.

UrethraFranklin1 · 01/08/2015 22:05

Why do you want him to?

yabu. his finger, his choice.

MollieCoddler · 01/08/2015 22:05

My dh doesn't wear one. Non issue.

Original poster
Elfina · 01/08/2015 22:06

You're quite right - it's not a rational thing on my behalf!

OP posts:
emotionsecho · 01/08/2015 22:08

My dh doesn't wear one he doesn't like rings it is a total non issue, doesn't bother me in the slightest.

mrsdavidbowie · 01/08/2015 22:09

I didn't wear one when I was married.
Hated the feel

LHReturns · 01/08/2015 22:10

Loads of men I know don't wear one, my father didn't etc, so if I get married it won't bother me at all if my DP doesn't (he probably won't). I don't think a wedding ring is going to reduce risk of infidelity but I appreciate it is far more symbolic than that.

I do feel for you tho, as if you are used to men around you wearing one, then I see why it could hurt for him to refuse.

tippytappywriter · 01/08/2015 22:12

DH doesn't wear one. He did for a v short while but didn't like the feeling. Been married forever and it never occurs to me now. I wear one but I like rings.

WhyBeHappyWhenYouCouldBeNormal · 01/08/2015 22:13

you can get tattooed ones, and ones that show under uv light which are quite a cool idea...

mugglingalong · 01/08/2015 22:14

I said that I would only wear one if he wore one. Felt otherwise it would seem like some sort of ownership tag that he placed on me. As we both have one it seems more equal.

Bragadocia · 01/08/2015 22:16

I've stopped wearing mine, because I don't like the feel of it, particularly when water gets underneath the band (my work involves a lot of hand immersion in water), so I can understand that he doesn't like the sensation.

Do you know what it is exactly about it that troubles you?

wtfih · 01/08/2015 22:17

I say YANBU but each to their own.
I wouldn't wear one if he doesn't though.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 01/08/2015 22:22

Mine doesn't. Why do you need him to? It won't stop anything unpleasant from happening. If someone's going to be unfaithful then they will do that...ring or not.

Lookingforwardtoholiday · 01/08/2015 22:23

Mine doesn't, I couldn't care less

sadwidow28 · 01/08/2015 22:24

My DH didn't wear one during his first marriage.

I was more than surprised when we went to the jewellers to select my wedding ring that he said he actually wanted to have a wedding ring of his own. I did feel honoured and valued that he chose to have an outward sign of our marriage (don't ask me why). Our budget was stretched so we managed a NEW wedding ring for DH and a 2nd hand wedding ring for me.

I have worn DH's wedding ring on a gold chain round my neck since he died in 2001. (I also continue to wear my own wedding/engagement rings)

GaryBaldy · 01/08/2015 22:25

Neither of us wear one, doesn't make us less married.

His finger, his choice.

cocobean2805 · 01/08/2015 22:28

My DH wears one, but takes it off while he does the washing up, when he goes to the gym, when hes in the shower, It cost £18 because It's only a matter of time before he loses it. We've only been married a couple of months, if he's still got it by Christmas I'd be surprised.

I know what you mean though, I thought I'd want him to have it on all the time, as a symbol of our love or whatnot, in reality, he loves me, the ring is neither here or there now, he's married me, he's stuck with me Grin

Floralnomad · 01/08/2015 22:30

My dh stopped wearing his wedding ring when we came home from the honeymoon and I became allergic and stopped wearing mine about 17 years ago - can't say it's something I could get worked up about .

Original poster
Elfina · 01/08/2015 22:31

Absolutely nothing to do with concerns about infidelity!! I guess it's sentimental/ symbolism. Ah, fuck knows.

OP posts:
PurpleSwirl · 01/08/2015 22:33

If my DH hadn't wanted to wear one I would have gone ali g with that

Sorry, but couldn't let this one go by - visions of the poster going Ali G with her DH.

"Is it 'cos I ain't wearing a ring?!"" Grin

I don't wear mine. Neither does DH. Doesn't mean the marriage is somehow invalid or 'less' or something! Confused

Original poster
Elfina · 01/08/2015 22:34

Happy to concede am BU!

OP posts:
mugglingalong · 01/08/2015 22:34

I wouldn't have minded not having one, it was just when he was wanting me to have one but not wear one himself that I objected. He likes it now though. Sounds as if you are already married though and it is just uncomfortable. Why not suggest that he keeps it for special occasions?

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 01/08/2015 22:36

My DH wore his on our honeymoon and then it's lived in it's box for nearly 11 years now. It doesn't bother me at all. I like to see a shiny wedding ring though, it's nice.

zobey · 01/08/2015 22:36

My dh wears his at special occasions or if we go out on a date night, if he goes on a night out and family events these are his choice to wear it then. Day to day is a no go for him due to his job. It cost 20 or less from argos. Does the job.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 01/08/2015 22:37

Ha ha! Phone fingers strike again. Along with.

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