Page 3 | To want DH to wear a wedding ring?

Elfina · 2015-08-01T21:03:11+00:00

I suspect I am. He says that wearing it bugs him because of the sensation. I think he'd get used to it if he'd wear one for a decent length of time! He is generally a hit funny about sensory things. I know it shouldn't matter, but I'd love him to!

Bonsoir · 02/08/2015 07:41

I cannot wear rings or anything but very small bits of jewellery so I have every sympathy with your DH.

Runningupthathill82 · 02/08/2015 07:54

YABU. DH hasn't worn his ring since our wedding day. We knew he wouldn't, as he hates wearing rings, so it's only a £30 one anyway. We just bought it for the ceremony.

We are no less married than if he did wear it, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I wear mine, but then I like wearing jewellery. I don't have an engagement ring though.

MauriceTheCat · 02/08/2015 08:37

DH loves his big heavy platinum wedding ring...He is a lawyer and wears some very nice jewellery.

Me, a hygiene mad doctor never wears anything but a leather thong necklace with a charm on it on my days off. Not worn my wedding ring since the big day

Lookingforwardtoholiday · 02/08/2015 08:52

I should add that I wear mine out of the house as I really love it but never wear it at home or sleep in it as I don't really like the feel

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 02/08/2015 08:56

sorry

what does "go Ali G" mean?

it was "go along with". Phone typo. Not autocorrect as I don't use it, just clumsy typing and not reading through before hitting "post".

I had to take mine off for a few weeks recently as I had a bad flare-up of eczema. I was surprised that I missed wearing it, as I do think it's purely symbolic and not in any way indicative of the state of the marriage. I don't think I'd be bothered if DH didn't wear his now, but if he hadn't wanted one at all I probably wouldn't have wanted one either. It was important to me that in the ceremony it was exchange of rings not the giving by one person only. Those that don't have them, did you skip that part in the ceremony?

Bunbaker · 02/08/2015 09:06

"I said that I would only wear one if he wore one"

Same here. OH already had a signet ring so he had it altered to fit his ring finger. Job done.

Redtowel · 02/08/2015 09:08

I only wear mine out of the house, don't like the feel of it and would never get it wet or wear it in the shower....yuck. I like wearing it as its a gorgeous piece of jewellery, but only out of the house.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 02/08/2015 09:14

We both tend to only wear ours when out for a special occasion. We both worked in hands on jobs where rings got in the way and it just became habit to not wear them. I can't say it bothers me much. We had to get new rings this year (DH ruined his and I lost mine somewhere along the way) but opted for titanium ones as we don't wear them enough to justify a big spend.

QuiteIrregular · 02/08/2015 09:15

Another voice to add to the 'you're not being unreasonable' and 'knowing why he doesn't want to wear one doesn't make your wish that he would go away'. I think some people are being a bit dismissive of the OP - she freely admits she can't justify insisting he do so.

And 'it's just a symbol' seems to miss the point to me - symbols are important to people. When we got married, we had a ceremony, hymns, family photos, dinner, a dress, suits, vows, all of which were just symbols. I learned to wear a wedding ring, which felt a bit weird for the first months, because it was a meaningful symbol to us. Symbols are surely how we organise and express invisible and intangible feelings - I don't think OP thinks she needs to 'tag' her husband or prevent him straying, but a ring is a symbol many people find expresses something about their connection.

Many others don't, particularly if they don't like the historical associations with dowries, 'owning' wives, or the exchange of valuables between families. But that seems like they're objecting to the symbolism because they don't like it, not because they don't recognise symbolism when they see it.

SnapesCapes · 02/08/2015 09:24

We both wear one. DH lost his for nearly a year and it wasn't an issue; it didn't make him any less married or committed so I suggested leaving it and not replacing it but he went and bought a new one because he felt better with it. I'm a bit easy about that stuff whereas he's the more traditional one.

DisappointedOne · 02/08/2015 09:35

Neither DH or I wear ours. Doesn't make us any less married.

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 02/08/2015 09:43

you aren't unreasonable to want him to, but its his choice :)

DH has one, but doesn't wear it, he cant wear it at work (he's a welder) so it became a bit silly with him only wearing it weekends as he didnt see the point in wearing it just to sleep in, lol.

Mrsjayy · 02/08/2015 10:00

Dh didnt wear his because of his job now he has a different job he has got into the habit of not wearing it really doesnt bother me he will wear it if we go out but thats it.

YakTriangle · 02/08/2015 10:02

My DH doesn't wear one, he doesn't wear any jewellery including watches, so it would be weird if he did. It's not like anyone who doesn't wear rings is trying to hide the fact that they're married.

Mrsjayy · 02/08/2015 10:02

Oh the point of your thread no yanbu for wanting him to wear it the ring matters to you.

FoodieMum3 · 02/08/2015 10:04

Mine doesn't and never wore his.
It didn't bother me because I knew that he hates the feeling of jewellery and it couldn't be worn with his job but I was a little hurt at the time that he wouldn't even wear it going on honeymoon.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 02/08/2015 10:06

Yanbu. Dh wears one and so do I. I think it suits him. Neither his or mine are anything fancy, just a plain band and I think if he hadn't have wanted to wear one I'd have been a bit disappointed.

And I agree with the pp about exchanging rings at the ceremony and not bothering to wear them after, totally pointless. And even more so if you've spent a small fortune on the rings that will just be left in their boxes.

Theycallmemellowjello · 02/08/2015 10:07

It depends whether he expects you to wear one! I hardly ever wear my engagement/wedding rings and think I get more adverse comments than I would if I were a man!

chaiselounger · 02/08/2015 10:13

I like dh wearing his. He takes it off sometimes and doesn't wear it for a bit. But I like it when he does.
I love wearing mine and feel not right without them.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 02/08/2015 10:14

I disagree with this

And I agree with the pp about exchanging rings at the ceremony and not bothering to wear them after, totally pointless. And even more so if you've spent a small fortune on the rings that will just be left in their boxes.

Everything else symbolic about the day is for that day only, dress, flowers, meal, hynns, why can't rings fall into that category too? The exchange of them and intent to keep them in your posession is what is important, not whether they are on display or not, mine isn't any less important to me when I'm not wearing it.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 02/08/2015 10:34

Dh never wore his after the ceremony. It was his late Dad's then years after we were burgled , it was stolen and never replaced .

I don't wear mine either, I had major surgery 4 years ago, took my rings off , enjoyed not wearing them and never put them back on.

bigbumtheory · 02/08/2015 12:07

I don't think YABU to want him to wear one, you'd just be unreasonable to suggest as he would to you. People view rings in very different ways. A colleague was insistent her DH have a ring if he wanted her wearing one. She saw it as equal if they both did and didn't want to wear one if he didn't. They both wear one now.

Because of my job I often don't wear one, same as DH. That's fine and works for us. Different strokes...

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 02/08/2015 12:31

Everything else symbolic about the day is for that day only, dress, flowers, meal, hynns, why can't rings fall into that category too? The exchange of them and intent to keep them in your posession is what is important, not whether they are on display or not, mine isn't any less important to me when I'm not wearing it.

Well rings can I suppose but having met someone who spent several hundreds of pounds on a wedding ring to just exchange it and then never wear it again seems totally pointless to me. Not to mention a waste of money. I could've had a holiday with what he spent on that ring that ended up not worn because he didn't want to wear it all the time.

As I said, waste of money.

But then some folk do have more money than sense.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 02/08/2015 13:39

I would hazard a guess that most wedding rings cost considerably less than a lot of wedding dresses, which have no expectation of ever bring worn again. Having an item of treasured jewellery that isn't worn often is definitely not a case of more money than sense IMO, that's a nasty turn of phrase.

Anyway, that's not the question that was being asked. I would say YANBU to hope your DH would wear a ring if it's important to you, but YABU if you try to insist he does against his wishes.

BeautifulBatman · 02/08/2015 14:56

Our wedding rings cost approx £30 each. Titanium. I didn't want an engagement ring.