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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hardly ever finish what's on my plate...

69 replies

Snoozebox · 27/07/2015 15:12

It drives my friends bonkers. My family are somewhat more understanding of it.

Whenever I'm round at a friend's house or out for a meal, the servings are usually HUGE. Maybe twice or even three times what I'd serve myself. I feel satisfied very quickly and hate eating until I feel 'full' - that just makes me uncomfortable. I've never had an ED by the way and my weight has always been very stable. I just seem to be in the minority among the people I know.

I'm trying to get DH to lose weight and trying to make him understand that he doesn't need to eat past the 'I'm not hungry anymore' stage. He disagrees and says he eats lots because it tastes nice and he hates seeing food go to waste. I just think he doesn't know when to stop Confused

So AIBU?

OP posts:
helenahandbag · 27/07/2015 15:15

His attitude is the attitude of many, many people but it doesn't make it right. What you do is correct for weight management.

I'm in the "keep eating until it's gone, even if I feel sick" camp, but I'm also 40lbs overweight.

Mistigri · 27/07/2015 15:15

I rarely finish a plate of food unless I have served it myself. I do ask for smaller portions too where possible.

I'm normal weight, with normal eating habits and I'm not a fussy eater.

MaidOfStars · 27/07/2015 15:16

YANBU. I often leave food, although sometimes its my own fault - my eyes are bigger than my belly. If something is particularly delicious though, I'll push past the "full" feeling Smile

I have zero issue with leaving food at a restaurant - you've paid for it, you do what you want. Maybe if a friend has gone to lots of effort, I'll make more of an effort to eat extra.

Mistigri · 27/07/2015 15:17

It's never even occurred to me that this might bother people!!!

PinPon · 27/07/2015 15:17

Yanbu to eat the right amount for you. However, yabu to waste food. Why don't you just ask for a very small portion or serve yourself the amount you plan to eat?

GoooRooo · 27/07/2015 15:18

YANBU. I wish I could do the same and I wouldn't then be such a fatty. I blame my parents for the huge portions and the 'dying kids in Africa would be grateful for that meal' bollocks which has ingrained a hatred for wasted food and means I eat too much.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/07/2015 15:18

I stop eating when I feel full, I can't carry just to clear the plate as I'd feel bloated and uncomfortable.

MirandaWest · 27/07/2015 15:20

I stop when I've eaten enough. Generally that means I leave something on my plate.

takeinyourhen · 27/07/2015 15:21

If this happens every time you go to a friend's house, why haven't they started giving you smaller portions?? I would. Or else ask you to come and get your own? There are more polite ways than making you feel like a freak.

gamerwidow · 27/07/2015 15:22

I always clear my plate which is why 2 stone over weight. Yours is the healthier way of eating. I don't understand why your friends keep piling your plate up with so much food when they know you can't eat it.

Branleuse · 27/07/2015 15:23

The meal isnt finished when im full. The meal is not finished till I hate myself

mmollytoots · 27/07/2015 15:25

snoozebox what clothes size are you.

and what is a daily day of eating for you

Buzzybuzzybumblebees · 27/07/2015 15:25

I only eat until I am full

I hate that stuffed feeling

Original poster
Snoozebox · 27/07/2015 15:27

I'm small and some of my friends seem to take a motherly approach, wanting to 'feed me up' or get offended if I just ask for a smaller portion. They can understand it with desserts but not with mains. I find it really hard to phrase it in a way that won't offend them!

And even at restaurants, I seem to get a bit of stick off the people I eat with or the serving staff if I leave anything Hmm

OP posts:
Artandco · 27/07/2015 15:29

I do the same. Most places serve way to much

Same with children's meals. I ordered the children age 5 and under cottage pie the other day out off a children's menu. The portion sizes were about the size dh would serve himself, not a small child. With about 1/2 a whole broccoli on the side!

NoImSpartacus · 27/07/2015 15:30

I always finish my plate, and usually when I'm served I feel disappointed because I know it won't sate me! I'm a bottomless pit Blush

Destinysdaughter · 27/07/2015 15:31

I'm the same, I rarely finish a meal and I don't want to eat more when I'm full.However, it does cause me anxiety when I go to a restaurant, as I know I won't be able to finish my food. I put this down to dinner ladies making me finish my meals ( things I didn't like as a child like salads consisting of hard boiled eggs, grated carrots and beetroot, yuk) I always feel like ill get told off if I can't finish my plate!

AdoraBell · 27/07/2015 15:33

I'm the same as mistigri, and I've always told me DCs that they don't have To clear a plate. At home I ask them How much they want when serving the food. In restaurantes or at friends houses they always leave something. Some people develop at Cats Bum face about this, Meh.

Crosbybeach · 27/07/2015 15:34

I quite often don't finish food, my friends have got used to it. And I'm a big fan of doggy bags! I'm quite used to waiting staff saying 'Oh, was it OK?'

I'm not small though, unfortunately, I just can't eat a lot in one go.

So keep, gently, or not so gently, reminding friends that you'd like a small portion to start with.

My DH and I have also taken to sharing starters or puddings almost all of the time, good for my waistline and him.

Crosbybeach · 27/07/2015 15:35

Oh, and another thing I'll quite often do if out with a few people in a restaurant is have a starter instead of a main, or 2 starters. I lose out when paying if we are splitting the bill, but I don't mind that so much.

limitedperiodonly · 27/07/2015 15:37

I often leave food in restaurants and friends' houses. At home I serve the correct portion for me and scale up for DH and guests.

I hated eating at my best friend's house because her mum would pile up the plate and then chide me for being skinny, fussy and wasteful when I'd eat about a third of it.

I wasn't that hungry and she was a terrible cook.

Original poster
Snoozebox · 27/07/2015 15:38

mmollytoots I'm a size 8-10 and my eating varies because some days I'll be hungrier than others. It must depend on how busy I've been. Today is a lazy day so I've not done my morning snacking for example, but typically I'll have:

  • small bowl of cereal, waffle or piece of fruit
  • small snacks 2-3 times in morning (nuts/small cereal bar/chocolate)
  • lunch will be about 2/3 carton of soup, jacket potato and filling or today I had half a 10-inch pizza (it was really filling)
  • another snack about 4pm-ish
  • dinner (usually small serving of meat/fish with rice and veg)
  • might have half a dessert or another snack later on if I'm still hungry

My snacking can get quite out of control sometimes Grin if I ate a typical amount at mealtimes, I'd be eating way more than is comfortable. But if I stopped snacking, I'd be far too hungry since it's at least 6 hours without any food. So I prefer my way.

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 27/07/2015 15:39

crosby DH and I share starters. In fact, I'll eat a tiny bit and he'll eat the rest. I hate being pressured to eat a starter when it means that I won't be hungry enough to eat the main course, which is what I really want.

Manic3mum · 27/07/2015 15:45

I'd love to learn how to leave food on my plate! I'm always starving and could eat for England. I joke with DH that I'd win any eating contest, I just don't feel full!

TurnOverTheTv · 27/07/2015 15:51

I eat lots of little meals. I think portion sizes in restaurants and pubs are enormous these days. I normally order a starter and a side salad, or Italian restaurants will normally do me a half portion of pasta/pizza. I always have the children's menu at our local pub because it's all I can manage Grin I'm not particularly slim either, I just can't eat large portions of food

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