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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hardly ever finish what's on my plate...

69 replies

Snoozebox · 27/07/2015 15:12

It drives my friends bonkers. My family are somewhat more understanding of it.

Whenever I'm round at a friend's house or out for a meal, the servings are usually HUGE. Maybe twice or even three times what I'd serve myself. I feel satisfied very quickly and hate eating until I feel 'full' - that just makes me uncomfortable. I've never had an ED by the way and my weight has always been very stable. I just seem to be in the minority among the people I know.

I'm trying to get DH to lose weight and trying to make him understand that he doesn't need to eat past the 'I'm not hungry anymore' stage. He disagrees and says he eats lots because it tastes nice and he hates seeing food go to waste. I just think he doesn't know when to stop

So AIBU?

OP posts:

takeinyourhen · 27/07/2015 15:51

Your diet sounds fine to me - I don't snack but bulk out meals with vegetables.

When I have guests, I serve the meat on the plate and have veggies in serving bowls - works much better than trying to guess how much each guest will eat.

Scholes34 · 27/07/2015 16:10

I hate to see food wasted. Fortunately, DH is a bottomless pit, so clears up when needed, but I never take more than I know I'll eat.

IHaveBrilloHair · 27/07/2015 16:15

I don't finish if I'm full, and dd is the same, whether it goes in the bin or on my hips it's still unwanted.
I do try to order/serve appropriately in the first place though.

chelle792 · 27/07/2015 16:15

Makes me feel lucky that I can palm my leftovers on OH human dustbin!. He loves it and rarely feels full as he's 6ft7 with hardly an ounce of fat on him very jealous because he doesn't have to watch what he eats

ppolly · 27/07/2015 16:20

Another snacker here. I just serve myself very small portions of our main meal. My dd eats like me too, but my DH has a much bigger appetite. it works for me and I often just have a starter as a main if we go out for a meal. I just fill up,and empty again very fast.

hollieberrie · 27/07/2015 16:20

I'm like this too OP, i'm 5ft and a size 8-10. If i overeat i throw up, my body just cant cope with too much food. Snacks and little and often is the best way for me too. I think its just being small, its the way our bodies are.

Other people are often concerned but i really dont think i need as much food as someone who's a foot taller and a bigger build. Theres nothing wrong with me! I just need less.

In restaurants i always ask for a doggy bag and then eat it the next day. No wastage and saves me making lunch :-)

Rainbunny · 27/07/2015 16:21

I'm actually shocked that the "you must clear your plate" attitude still exists these days in light of the fact that a majority of people in the UK are overweight. I always bring doggy bags home from restaurants, it's wonderful as I usually have any leftovers for lunch the next day. As for eating at friend's homes, it's never an issue as we either serve ourselves or I'm asked how much of something I want.

GraysAnalogy · 27/07/2015 16:22

The meal isnt finished when im full. The meal is not finished till I hate myself

Hahhaha, sorry I loved this comment!

goodasitgets · 27/07/2015 16:29

My DP hates that I always leave something on my plate - I have an ED and it is really helping me to leave something. He does a lot of "you can't leave that!"
Explained to him and now we have an agreement I leave it, he eats it

PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/07/2015 16:32

I think society generally has lost sight of what portion sizes should be. I heard recently from so many people starting calorie counting diets or My Fitnes Pal, that they can't believe how many calories are in small portions of things like cheese.

I was the same until a couple of years ago. Due to illness and medication i totally lost my appetite for almost a year. It has come back slowly but I look back at the portion sizes I used to eat in horror At the time I didn't understand why I was overweight when I was walking loads, exercising regularly and eating "normal" meals. But I was eating probably twice the amount I need to. And wine. Don't get me started on alcohol...

RabbitSaysWoof · 27/07/2015 16:42

Of course YANBU to leave what you don't want but i do think YABU to try to convert others.
I usually clear my plate but I don't eat loads of times a day I eat 3, I have a friend who I hate eating with because she is a great cook but I cant have a plate of food in her house without her explaining how she hates to feel full, thinks its gluttonous to eat because foods there and I end up feeling like a greedy cow just being normal. Her 10 year old was telling me how she hates the noise of someone scraping their fork because in her words 'it's greedy, like they must be starving or something and they need to get every last bit' it's never occured to me to be disgusted by someone eating what they are given and I've been slim most of my life.

limitedperiodonly · 27/07/2015 16:46

I quite often wake up and think I could murder what I left the night before. But at the time, I just couldn't do it. Doggy bags are the way to go. I don't mind cold leftovers.

I left half a rib-eye steak a week ago. I'd been pressured into having a starter I didn't want out of politeness and was stuffed by the time my main course came. I was really looking forward to the steak but didn't enjoy it at all.

They boxed it up and the cat loved it so at least it wasn't wasted - actually he couldn't finish it all either. But at least most of it got eaten.

GraysAnalogy · 27/07/2015 16:54

If I don't finish a meal I always plate the rest up for another time. My DP thinks I'm horrible doing this but I don't care. I hate it when a few hours later I'm thinking 'oh I could just eat that' after throwing it away

limitedperiodonly · 27/07/2015 17:12

RAbbit that's terrible. I'd never do that to someone. If they finished everything I'd want to give them more but might not have it.

I'm slim too. Occasionally I eat loads and really look forward to it. DH and I used to go to a great Tex-Mex restaurant every Saturday and I'd save a space because I wanted to eat a whole rack of pork ribs and some onion rings and a couple of Brandy Alexanders - I don't know how I managed to keep that sickly combination down

There was a restaurant in Ostia near Rome where I demolished a huge plate of seafood all to myself and kept putting bits of shell onto side plates with the waiters removing the debris and bringing fresh finger bowls and towels. Twenty years later we still go there and the owner still welcomes us with joy.

A friend could eat tons and liked to go out with me because I'm good company but I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I'd leave stuff halfway through and she'd have it. Indian restaurants are best for that.

When I met DH, who is the same, it was funny watching their Mexican stand-off over my leftover Indian.

limitedperiodonly · 27/07/2015 17:17

I always do that Grays. On Sunday I cooked a kind of lamb tagine thingy with lots of vegetables. There was no meat left on Monday but I snacked on the cold leftover vegetables.

Unlike your DP, my DH agrees. I'd have to fight him for cold left over pizza or the left over lasagne - especially the crispy bits.

Goshthatsspicy · 27/07/2015 17:23

I think you actually eat quite a bit during the day op l don't mean that judgementally obviously, but
I'm not surprised you don't eat all that is on your plate!
I eat a little and often too. I'm tall - ish, and slim. :) so... YANBU.

WorktoLive · 27/07/2015 17:33

Food is no less wasted if you eat it when you are already full than it is if you leave it.

OP YANBU to stop eating when you are full but you should ask people to serve you less if they continue to give you too much food.

Restaurant and takeaway portions are generally ridiculous these days but I am the Queen of the doggy bag if it is something I am enjoying as it means I get to have it again for lunch the next day.

If more people recognised sensible portion sizes, obesity wouldn't be the problem that it is.

insanityscatching · 27/07/2015 17:46

I rarely finish what is on my plate and I often offload stuff onto dh as well. I eat until I've had enough, I hate to feel full. As children we had to finish what was on the plate so I suppose it's like a rebellion.My dc eat or leave with no comment made, I think it's a healthier attitude tbh.

Clutterbugsmum · 27/07/2015 18:24

I rarely finish as well, I think issue is 2 fold people have forgotten what size portion we should actually eat but I also plates have got bigger so when you put a 'proper' size portion it looks small so they add more food.

If we have guests I tend to put food on the table and allow people to take what they want.

Rosesareblack · 27/07/2015 18:47

I often ask for my leftovers to be put in a 'doggy bag'. This can sometimes be a large proportion of the meal if it isn't exceptionally good.

Obviously this won't work if you are at someone's home, but saves the questions in a restaurant.

BeautifulLiar · 27/07/2015 18:58

Hmm, hollie I'm not sure, I'm 5 ft and a size 8, and I eat way past the feeling of fullness! DH just doesn't get it, he thinks you should stop when you're full and not over indulge. But I'll wolf down the lot, then have pudding.

ToysRLuv · 27/07/2015 19:05

I understand leaving bits that you can't fit in, but sometimes I feel like screaming "it's only a forkful if peas!" or "it's only a small bit of potato - you can manage that much, ffs!!!". However, obviously, I don't. I tend to finish my plates unless in a restaurant (DH mostly eats my leftovers).

PeppaWellington · 27/07/2015 19:12

I envy you OP and of course YANBU. I think you have a healthy attitude to eating. If your dh doesn't want to lose weight, there is nothing you can do about it, so if I were you I would give that one up right now. If he wants to lose weight, I would ask him what I can do to help, and do it.

The people who are constantly putting too much food on your plate and then remarking that you've not eaten it all are idiots. I mean, how do they not get that you have a small appetite?

sadwidow28 · 27/07/2015 19:28

I am a 'normal weight' but I hate to see my plate piled up with food. I like to serve myself to do a VERY small portion. When I was a child we had to eat everything off our plate before we left the table. I was one of 9 children and portions were varied according to age, but I was still overwhelmed by a plateful.

I can't do a 3-course meal now so I choose to have a small starter and eat some of main course. But I have no shame in asking for a doggy bag in a restaurant. (Sometimes I even manage to eat a bit more when I am serving my left-overs for the dog )

My mother (also not ED but with a small appetite) chooses to have a starter and a pudding because she has a sweet tooth that I don't have.

I serve everything in bowls on keep-hot warmers when I am the hostess so that people can serve themselves and have extra if they want. But I had an afternoon BBQ on 19th July and some people didn't turn up. So everyone who attended got foil trays to take food home for supper.

Rainbunny · 27/07/2015 19:49

As an aside, I did veer towards an ED in my late teens/early twenties but for years leading up to this (and to this day to a certain degree) I had/have a strong case of misophonia and I do wonder if this could be linked to a higher chance of developing an ED? I intensely hated the Sunday lunch torture of the family sitting in the dining room eating in silence with occasional conversation. It really made me want to vomit to hear the sounds of the others chomping, chewing, scraping cutlery noises and worst of all the sound of smacking lips! My family has very table manners and these noises are indiscernible to the average person of course - just not me. My dad slurping tea was also an intensely grotesque sound to me. As I got older I basically associated the eating noises that filled me with disgust with eating in general. I can't exactly describe how but to me the "awful" noises of eating equalled gluttony, which triggered my avoidance of food bit by bit.

I've been fine with food for years now, somehow the world has become noisier, even at home and I do tend to have classical music on in the background when it's a family meal etc.. I guess I'm just curious if anyone else had a similar experience?

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