Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not using seatbelts or car seats ... Ffs

72 replies

nicoleshitzinger · 24/07/2015 21:21

DS just come back from a day out with a school friend and his younger siblings. According to DS the 2 year old was on the front seat, not in a car seat, and kept u doing his seatbelt and at one point opened the door while the car was going. The other children (7 and 10) wore no seatbelts and the 7 year old was scrabbling about on the back seat. It was a 30 mile journey (each way) on a very fast 3 lane A road. DS wore his seat belt - he has Aspergers and is very fixated on following rules.

It now makes sense to me why the school friend and his 7 year old brother were being difficult about wearing seat belts when I gave them a lift the other day. I had to threaten to refuse to turn the engine on to get them to comply.

Should I say something to the mother or refuse to let DS go anywhere with her again? We're not friends, just acquaintances, it's just our two oldest who are good friends. Is my DS in more danger in the car if the other kids aren't restrained?

I'm flummoxed as to why anyone would do this. She isn't English but she's been here a long time. I don't get it.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 24/07/2015 21:23

I wouldn't let him go in a car with them when they obviously so lax about car safety. I would either drop DS off or say he can't go.

WorraLiberty · 24/07/2015 21:24

Yes, your DS would be in danger of having a child slammed into him at high speed Sad

3littlefrogs · 24/07/2015 21:25

Yes your Ds is at increased risk if others are not restrained. The unrestrained children become projectiles in the event of an accident.
It is illegal for the driver to not ensure that all passengers are wearing seatbelts.
I wouldn't let him travel with that driver/family again, and I would explain why if she asks.

Lweji · 24/07/2015 21:27

Is my DS in more danger in the car if the other kids aren't restrained?

Yes, he is. If something happens, their bodies flying around or being projected could hit him. Apart from being a danger to themselves as well, of course.

It's so sad that some people still don't care about the safety of their own children.

(and not being English is not an excuse. Children safety is pretty much a rule in Europe at least)

TheRealAmyLee · 24/07/2015 21:28

I wouldn't let my kids travel with a family that did that. I'd be tempted to raise it saying "my DS mentioned this. Surely he is nistaken?"

HemanOrSheRa · 24/07/2015 21:30

There is an absolutely shocking Irish Seatbelt Safety Campaign advert that shouldn't leave any doubt about the damage an unsecured person in a vehicle can do.

UrethraFranklin1 · 24/07/2015 21:31

Never mind the belts (that should be bloody obvious to all!) they are all supposed to be in car seats/on boosters.
I would tell her how stupid she is and never let her drive my child anywhere again.

Original poster
nicoleshitzinger · 24/07/2015 21:32

It's so crap isn't it?

And it's not just her. The boy's father (they're not together) picked him up from my place the other day. His adult passenger was in the front seat with a small child unrestrained on his lap...

OP posts:
TalkinPeace · 24/07/2015 21:40

No seatbelts no ride.

Have you SEEN what people look like when they have hit a windscreen at 30?
Have you SEEN what people look like when the rear passenger decapitates them at 30 mph

Report their numberplate to the police and feel NO SHAME at all

Post this video on their FB, snapchat and any other social media you can find

again and again

YANBU
THey are being effing stupid

textfan · 24/07/2015 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rosieliveson · 24/07/2015 21:50

I see this a lot in the area I live in. Large families with too many young children for a seat each on the back or a toddler standing on one of the seats. I've also seen a passenger in the backseat just cradling a young baby. No car seat at all.
My DS is always very safely strapped in and I get the rage whenever I see children who aren't being driven safely.

TalkinPeace · 24/07/2015 21:55

DD had a friend who was "lax" about seatbelts.
Me pulling up on a remote road, locking the doors and refusing to drive on till he obeyed the law sorted that at age 7

that and naming the family member killed by a non seatbelt driver.

something I feel incredibly strongly about

Original poster
nicoleshitzinger · 24/07/2015 21:56

DS wouldn't lie about something like that. He's pedantic in the extreme...

OP posts:
Stripyhoglets · 24/07/2015 22:17

I wouldn't let him in the car with them again.

SPARKLYSTARSHINESBRIGHT · 24/07/2015 22:32

There's a foreign boy in my DD7 class who I see locally and is always hanging out the window with his 4 year old sister without seatbelts. I helped on the school trip 3 weeks ago and happened to sit next to this boy who objected to having his seatbelt on, I insisted. Further on in the journey I realised he had taken it off again, he said he didn't wear one because it was uncomfortable!! Can only assume his parents are more relaxed about safety in the country they are from. I wouldn't let my kids travel with them.

TheWernethWife · 24/07/2015 22:33

Rosie - you must live near me!! Kids not strapped in, parents on phone etc. Everyone drives up to the school, it's a bloody nightmare.

BlueThursday · 24/07/2015 22:43

If they're lax on seat belts and car seats you can be sure they'll be lax on other aspects eg tyres and insurance

I pulled up once beside a car with a toddler jumping about the back so I called over to the driver to tell her.

Her response: "she doesn't like it"

I was HmmConfusedShockAngry all at once

ShadowFire · 24/07/2015 23:50

I would not let my child in their car again.

DadfromUncle · 25/07/2015 00:20

DD(7)'s schoolfriend and partner in crime has a cool hipster Dad who lets her ride in the front of his Audi with no child/booster seat - cue much complaining from DD of course. At least he makes her wear a belt I suppose, but she's much to small not to be a in seat or a booster.

dougieroseagain · 25/07/2015 00:29

I had a run in with a school mum who didn't want her son (just turned 8) in a booster seat. She claimed he was tall enough not to need one.

I ignored her and took her son home in a spare booster seat. My car. My rules.

He was fine using it - didn't bat an eyelid...

CookieDoughKid · 25/07/2015 00:41

You are not being unreasonable. I would not risk my dc's lives and would put a stop to them taking my dc's anywhere. If I saw her again doing it, I would have NO hesitation in calling the police. If she wants to risk her life - go for it. But not her dc's who are not responsible.

textfan · 25/07/2015 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SeenSheen · 25/07/2015 12:40

It is ridiculous to not use the restraints which are available. However many countries do have different rules and some people see nothing wrong with travelling unrestrained.
Seat belts have been around for so long that many of us feel weird almost undressed without one and feel massive relief at arriving unscathed.
This would not be understood in many cultures.

specialsubject · 25/07/2015 13:34

....and those 'many cultures' have horrific road death rates.

fortunately we live in a country where there are laws to protect the stupid from themselves, and more importantly to protect their children.

tell the mother why you aren't letting your child travel with her again, and if she doesn't react with any sign of sense, have a word with the cops. Might stop her kids ending up dead or paralysed.

textfan · 25/07/2015 14:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.