Not using seatbelts or car seats ... Ffs

[nicoleshitzinger]

DS just come back from a day out with a school friend and his younger siblings. According to DS the 2 year old was on the front seat, not in a car seat, and kept u doing his seatbelt and at one point opened the door while the car was going. The other children (7 and 10) wore no seatbelts and the 7 year old was scrabbling about on the back seat. It was a 30 mile journey (each way) on a very fast 3 lane A road. DS wore his seat belt - he has Aspergers and is very fixated on following rules.

It now makes sense to me why the school friend and his 7 year old brother were being difficult about wearing seat belts when I gave them a lift the other day. I had to threaten to refuse to turn the engine on to get them to comply.

Should I say something to the mother or refuse to let DS go anywhere with her again? We're not friends, just acquaintances, it's just our two oldest who are good friends. Is my DS in more danger in the car if the other kids aren't restrained?

I'm flummoxed as to why anyone would do this. She isn't English but she's been here a long time. I don't get it.

The laws of physics don't change from one country to another, either.

Another thing that puzzles me is why lots of people don't wear seat belts on coaches. Then, every time one topples over there are many dead and seriously injured people.
I always wear them. It's hardly an inconvenience and I'd rather not fly about the coach if something happens.

Re 'we all survived'.

Back in the 1970s a relative had a thing about not using seat belts, they had a friend/had heard a story of someone being trapped in their seatbelt so didn't use them.

They were driving on a longish journey as a family, mum in passenger seat had her child on her knee, when he fell asleep she put him on the back seat and the dog decided to jump from the back on to her knee.

She remembers that, and then nothing until she woke up in hospital. The dog was killed going through the windscreen.

They all survived apart from the dog.

I think I'd report her to the police, and tell her why. Stupid fucking cow is going to get her kids killed.

And there's no way any child of mine would be allowed in their car again. I might be tempted to stop him socialising with them altogether unless I was there too, on the grounds I don't know how many others stupid risks they're taking.

I think I've mentioned before that my mother was a radiographer, and was on duty the day the seatbelt law came into force in the UK. She remembers an instant and massive drop in the number of people she had to x-ray with mashed faces from that trip through the windscreen.

BTW, while responsibility for wearing a belt is with the person concerned once they are an adult, don't let anyone in your car not bother. Unrestrained people kill others. Refusers walk home.

and make sure granny doesn't take the belt off until the car stops!!

Lwei your coach comment made me smile...wonder if most people will be like you in the future as more have grown up with a seat belt culture?

My children always have the right seats and are belted in. DD2 is a very obedient child -she wants to be good. As a 3 yo she decided for the only time ever to undo her belt to see what it was like ....on a stretch of road reduced to single track by deep snow. Already a bit stressed, I was only doing 10 mph but couldn't stop straight away and I completely freaked out (not at her but at the situation). She never did it again.

Anyway she is now 8 and recently on holiday overseas we went on a day trip 30 miles away on a big public bus (like a coach). On the way there she made sure both of us had our seat belts on. On the way back it was the last bus of the day. We managed to get two seats together but all the other seats were full. My belt was missing - I said not to worry it was ok. She wanted us to get off (last bus of the day!) and then spent the entire journey clinging to my arm and telling me not to worry she'd got a good hold of me!

I'd report her.

Unrestrained passengers can get flung around in an accident, and make it more likely that the driver will lose control of the vehicle. There's an additional risk with unrestrained kids- they might not have the judgment and maturity to know what kind of things they should not do in a moving car. My high school boyfriend lost a good friend because she was driving with another teenager in the car, and this other teenager thought grabbing the wheel while my BF's friend was driving would be amusing. My BF was traumatized by her death, and did not get his drivers license for several years. I could see an unrestrained child doing something like that, or just doing something that distracts the driver and causing an accident that way.

Does anyone know if the police follow up on these type of reports? I reported a car reg no and description to 101 because the male driver, female passenger, babe in arms in the front seat and toddler in the back were not wearing seat belts. As they roared off from the lights the child was flung backwards onto the back seat I really hope a PCSO read them the riot act.

OP my child would never be going in a car with them again.

I see this a lot in High Wycombe where there is a very high percentage of Asians. I think it's an Asian thing even when the parents are British.

I've given up honking at traffic lights to let them know the kids are unrestrained, they just look at me as if I'm the daft one.

I've lost count of the number of sneeery comments I've had because ds (9) is still in a HBB. One friend always says, "aww, you're still in a baby seat then?" Ds is well trained, and says, "yes because my mum likes me in one piece! Have you seen the crash test videos?"

I had to convince DS that it was still better to be in a high back booster seat, particularly when driving on the motorway.

He was on one until he was over the minimum legal height limit for a normal seat belt, and until he started actually being too tall for the chair.

He is very responsible with his belt, which is surprising considering his dad refused to wear one. Apparently the airbags were enough.

He was late 9 when he stopped using his chair.

I don't know about the UK but its age 12 or 145cm here. Not that anyone seems to follow those rules.

My parents were (largely) paranoid before their time wrt seat belts. We always had them (in early 1970s they were retro-fitted by my father as cars didn't have rear seat belts at all) and had to have them done up at all times. My mother made herself fairly unpopular by refusing to transport more DC than she had seatbelts for, even though she drove a camper van.

PIL once told our DC not to bother with seatbelts because "we're not going far". DC, of course, reported this straight back to us and DH's reaction was that they are never going in PIL's car again (and they haven't been). I really thought we were beyond the point where unrestrained children in the car was even vaguely acceptable, but evidently not. My DC were desperate to hit 140cm as until then they were in high back boosters. Fortunately for them they are both taller than their peers, otherwise they might have been last to get rid of their seats - they were certainly not the first, which means that many other parents were, shall we say, anticipating the height limit a lot little.

Here it's 135cm and 12 to ride at the front.

The unrestrained passenger killing everyone else in the car :

Children under 12 in the UK are advised to sit in the back where its safer. If they are in the front they have to be properly restrained.
DD outgrew her high back booster at five. On its upper limit we could no longer wedge her long body in. She went on a booster cushion till she was six and a half. She was tall enough to not legally need it but sat more comfortably with it. She's eight now but 142cm so not on a booster, but only because being long of back the seatbelt sits where it should do.
Can't imagine not making sure she was safely buckled in before driving off.

I have twice seen unrestrained babies in cars stopped at lights. both times I jotted down the registration number and called 999. Wondered if they'd say I was wasting time but the police were very interested, both times asked me where I was and what direction the car was going in and said they'd send someone out to look for it and pull them over.

There are quite a few families in my DC's school with a very cavalier attitude to booster seats and seat belts. These people think of themselves a upstanding, law-abiding, responsible members of the community, but somehow don't think they need to obey the law on this. Here in Ireland the law is a booster seat until the child is 145cm. DS is one of the taller ones in his class and he has only stopped using a booster seat about 9 months ago, almost all of his classmates stopped using them at least 2 years ago. I know that one family lost one child and had two others injured in a RTA but I still see their younger DC bouncing around without a restraint as they drive out of the school car park. I've never seen Gardaí checking for seatbelt usage though, even though there are regular road checkpoints for tax and insurance discs.