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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a hand to hold?

82 replies

ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 00:43

Just back from hospital. dad is in critical care. I had to ring ambulance on Saturday for him. He's got acute pancreatitis and weak from pain and vomiting. It's all gone downhill today due to his kidney problems and lung problems and he quickly went from ward to High Care to Critical care in the space of 3 hours.

God I'm tired but I can't sleep as so much is going on in my head. They are so good in there and I have every confidence in them. I think they've intervened before it's got really bad and I hope tgey can make him well again. He's lovely and only 76 Sad

OP posts:
Kreeshsheesh · 21/07/2015 00:46

Thinking of you and your dad. Flowers

Tararatum · 21/07/2015 00:47

Me too Flowers

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 21/07/2015 00:48

Certainly you can. Here's my hand and a ((( ))) for both you and you lovely dad. He is in the best place though
Love thoughts and support Flowers

carelesswhisper87 · 21/07/2015 00:48

And me Flowers

poppym12 · 21/07/2015 00:48

Thinking of you both.

BromleyGal · 21/07/2015 00:49

I'm sorry. Yanbu at all to ask for a handhold. Hoping that your father rallies and gets better very soon.

Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 00:49

Ah shit, I'm crying now. Bollocks.

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RusticBlush · 21/07/2015 00:49

From me too Flowers

ChwatFeechers · 21/07/2015 00:50

Hoping for you both. Flowers

MistressDeeCee · 21/07/2015 00:51

Flowersall the best to your dad

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 21/07/2015 00:52

You have a bloody good cry. Xx

phoenixrose314 · 21/07/2015 00:52

He's in the best place he could be, sending you both lots of warm wishes and hand holding Flowers

cookiefiend · 21/07/2015 00:53

I have no useful advice. Do you have something you can put on tv that you have watched 1000 times before, like friends or frasier or something? I know it is not re come ded when struggling with sleep, but it might be enough just to listen to familiar words and doze. Perhaps whilst browsing a mumsnet classic or something. They will phone if he needs you so don't feel bad thinking about something else trying to get rest. I know it is really hard.

Thinking of you.

Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 00:54

Is this what multiple organ failure looks like? Is it how it starts? I don't want to ask for fear of the answer.
He's completely normal in his brain - talking and joking like he did this time last week?

We are all due to fly to Florida for a big family holiday in 3 weeks Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 00:58

His blood pressure is too low and could cause irreparable damage to his already diseased kidneys. It's all a little bit pants.

Oh there's so much in my head!! Today has been so full, you wouldn't fit it in a month ordinarily!

OP posts:
Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 01:00

Thanks Cookie, and everyone else,that's a good idea.
I need to dull my brain or stop it thinking. Part of me wants to jump in the car and get back there so I know exactly what's going on.

I feel so helpless.

OP posts:
shiteforbrains · 21/07/2015 01:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gobbin · 21/07/2015 01:03

Sorry for your troubles, hope he is well again soon.

SniffsAndSneezes · 21/07/2015 01:03

I've been there too OP when my father was ill. It's awful and frightening and exhausting. I'd second what Cookie said - get in your comfy clothes or pyjamas, lie on the couch, stick something on the telly that's light and familiar and just try and zone out a bit. Even if your head is spinning, now that you're home the adrenaline from all the hospital worry will fade and you might just doze off. And if you want to cry, cry. Better out than in. Thinking of you Flowers

Strokethefurrywall · 21/07/2015 01:03

I'm so sorry - all I can recommend is something lighthearted for times like this. When my brother was seriously Unwell I would numb myself with constant reruns of Friends and michael McIntyre. It helped for me to chuckle and Friends was comfort watching. That and lots of tea and chocolate - thinking of you both Thanks

Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 01:06

I wish a had a trashy mag to read, I don't think I can concentrate on my book.
Makes me angry though, why does bad stuff happen to good people? My Dad is nothing but helpful and kind and he never stops (probably part of the problem). He doesn't drink and the ultrasound didn't pick up gallstones - the 2 main reasons for pancreatitis, so why has he got it 3 weeks before the holiday of a lifetime that he's booked and paid most of for his dearly loved family?!!!
It's just wrong. Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 01:09

Ah yes, I haven't had a cup of tea, thank you, I've popped the kettle on. Even my husband has got a bit soppy which is most unlike him and makes me nervous Blush

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SniffsAndSneezes · 21/07/2015 01:13

Decaf, if you have it Shifty. You'll need sleep my love. If you're reading, lie down and read so you can drift off if you need to.

SabrinnaOfDystopia · 21/07/2015 01:13

Thanks OP.

Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 01:16

I don't have decaf sadly but the warmth of it feels nice. I've always laughed at soaps when they make tea at times of crisis but it is comforting.
I wish DH didn't have work tomorrow, I'm frightened about what might happen. Luckily friends are doing the school run for me so I can go and not worry about DS.

OP posts: