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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a hand to hold?

82 replies

ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 00:43

Just back from hospital. dad is in critical care. I had to ring ambulance on Saturday for him. He's got acute pancreatitis and weak from pain and vomiting. It's all gone downhill today due to his kidney problems and lung problems and he quickly went from ward to High Care to Critical care in the space of 3 hours.

God I'm tired but I can't sleep as so much is going on in my head. They are so good in there and I have every confidence in them. I think they've intervened before it's got really bad and I hope tgey can make him well again. He's lovely and only 76 Sad

OP posts:
holidaysarenice · 21/07/2015 01:54

As someone who has had pancreatitis with no known cause many times my heart goes out to you. I can imagine your anguish and worry right now. I'm not really sure what I wanted to say other than your post stood out to me and I didn't want to not write.

Thinking about you tonight and hope you manage to get some sleep.

Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 02:07

Thank you holiday and I'm sorry you have had this. The ICU consultant said that Dad has an extreme case which is complicated by his existing health problems, he hinted that it was potentially fatal for him and that we can't take chances / assume he will get better.
He's too ill to have an MRI to look at what's going on. He's just too critical at the moment Sad

I know so little about this illness, and other than links to gallstones and alcohol I just can't find anything useful, not that I've really had time to look.

I'm feeling calmer now, time to try to sleep.

OP posts:
Welshmaenad · 21/07/2015 02:26

Yanbu, you poor love. It's exhausting and terrifying to have someone you love so ill.

Sounds like they are really on the ball and he's in the best place, cliched as that sounds. I really hope you can get some rest xx Flowers Brew

muchhappierthesedays · 21/07/2015 02:46

You poor thing. Just wanted to add my thoughts and support to you and your family-it's a horrible situation for you to be in, I remember those feelings all too well. Try to get some rest if you can

Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 07:06

Well I managed about 4 hours sleep in the end, probably less as I continued to struggle when I came to bed, feeling exhausted this morning.
DH has gone to work, DS asleep so I'll give the unit a ring and see how he doing.
Thank you for you hands to hold and thought xxx

OP posts:
SheepAreSuper · 21/07/2015 07:46

Offering you a hand Shifty, I'm sorry it's late.

It's good that you've managed to get some sleep at least. Worry takes so much energy. Remember to keep yourself fed too.

Keep yourself occupied, watch a film or find something to concentrate on. Every minute waiting to visit will feel like an hour.
Have you got people to talk to? Talking helped me a lot.

Best wishes for your dad and for you and you family.

WendyTorrance · 21/07/2015 07:50

Thinking of you Flowers and un-mumsnetty hug.

Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 08:11

They it said that he slept most of the night thank goodness. The blood pressure medicine has helped raise it which is fantastic news. Once I've packed DS off to school I will grab another hour (hopefully), and then pack and lunch and get over there before general visiting starts, luckily we are allowed to see him any time. The parking was worse than awful yesterday afternoon, I'm not willing to brave that again so I'm planning on a late morning until just before rush hour, and then again this evening. I may need to give visiting a miss tomorrow as DH is working late and DS finished school at lunch time, but will see how Dad is. I can always go late at night.
Bless him, I just want him to get better, preferably without any surgery.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 08:11

They it said that he slept most of the night thank goodness. The blood pressure medicine has helped raise it which is fantastic news. Once I've packed DS off to school I will grab another hour (hopefully), and then pack and lunch and get over there before general visiting starts, luckily we are allowed to see him any time. The parking was worse than awful yesterday afternoon, I'm not willing to brave that again so I'm planning on a late morning until just before rush hour, and then again this evening. I may need to give visiting a miss tomorrow as DH is working late and DS finished school at lunch time, but will see how Dad is. I can always go late at night.
Bless him, I just want him to get better, preferably without any surgery.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 08:12

Sorry for the dreadful ramblings, fat fingers and double vision isn't helping Blush

OP posts:
SheepAreSuper · 21/07/2015 18:32

How's your dad Shifty? Thanks

londonrach · 21/07/2015 18:35

Hands op a hand. Thinking of you op. Xxxx

strawberryblondebint · 21/07/2015 19:32

Great news. I hope he gets better soon. Really feel for you FlowersFlowers

Aeroflotgirl · 21/07/2015 19:42

Flowers and hugs (((((()))))) thinking if you

Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 21:48

He's much the same today, blood pressure being controlled by drugs (to the ml/hr), on oxygen and is absolutely exhausted.
What worries me is that he's feeling really unwell and isn't his usual self this evening, despite the machines saying the same numbers, he's not quite there.
I hope it's just tiredness and so I only popped in for half an hour this evening. I saw the evening consultant and he was reassuring.
I was there for 4.5 hours today from 11 (I made a packed lunch - strangest place I've eaten a marmite sandwich!).
I will only be able to spend an hour with him in the morning after DS is taken to school, because he's finishing at lunch time. I hope a good sleep will work wonders SadSadSadSad

OP posts:
TheoriginalLEM · 21/07/2015 22:00

pacreatitis is a bastard. My bil had it and he described it as the worse pain ever. ive had gall stones so can only imagine it . The good news is that my bil made a full recovery.

another hand to hold. Your dad sounds positive. That is half the battle.

Might be worth looking at holiday insurance and see what is what as doesn't it change how much you can claim. It would be wonderful for your dad to know that the holiday could be postponed if needs be. Then he has something to look forward to when he gets better. Sorry if that seems insensitive but it might be worth giving them a heads up.

chinam · 21/07/2015 22:13

Aw, hoping for good news for your Dad. Flowers

SabrinnaOfDystopia · 21/07/2015 22:57

My gran made a complete recovery from pancreatitis in her 70's OP, and she lived to her 90's.

The doctors wouldn't believe that she drank very little alcohol - she was an extremely light drinker.

Original poster
ShiftyFades · 21/07/2015 23:38

That's great to hear Sabrinna, may I ask how long it took for her to recover?

Re: the holiday. Oh it's a tough one, DH and I were just talking about it. It's been a complicated booking as Dad has paid for most of it, plus us paying for the car and DH's flight and our park tickets, Dad has paid for villa, everyone except DH's flights, my sister, her kids and our parents park tickets.
I don't know if our own insurance covers this either. DH thinks we should still go (without mum and dad) as the kids are so excited etc, and I just don't think Dad will ever be well enough, he's just not doing great health wise. Obviously we won't go if Dad hasn't shown improvement or gets worse.
I need to get all this info from him tomorrow, so I can ring and see what they will cover.
I feel so sad for him, the two of us have put hours into organising this Sad

OP posts:
SabrinnaOfDystopia · 21/07/2015 23:47

I honestly can't remember, shifty, it was over 20yrs ago - she was treated badly by the NHS at the time - left on a trolley for over 24hrs outside of A&E (those were the days!) and the doctors refused to believe she wasn't a closet alcoholic. The family were furious about her treatment.

However, I don't think it was that long - we're not talking weeks or recuperation - I think she was out of hospital fairly quickly Smile

Wishing you well Thanks

Fissues · 21/07/2015 23:53

Another hand to hold here shifty

Your Dad sounds lovely, thinking of you all.

SallyMcgally · 22/07/2015 00:06

Thinking of you shifty. What a horrible, anxious time for you. He sounds lovely, and he's lucky yo have a lovely daughter too xx

GiraffeBert · 22/07/2015 00:25

Hoping your Dad is better very soon. Sending positive thoughts ???? x

olympicsrock · 22/07/2015 05:03

Hello shifty. Thinking of you and offering a hand to hold. Doctor here .. Sometimes there are tiny gallstones missed by us but picked up on mrcp which is an MRI scan. Sometimes pancreatitis can be causwd by medicines or an unusual shaped pancrea s but we do not alwaya find a cauae. Surgeey us rarely needed unless the aptei t has gallstones .Glad that your dad is improving and has not need to have a breathing tube and ventilation. Sounds like critical care is the right thing for him . Very very unlikely that your dad will be well enough to travel but perhaps your husband is right. If your dad has recovered and back on the ward in a few weeks time you might all need a holiday. Take care x

Gudgyx · 22/07/2015 06:55

Hope your dad is a bit better today OP.

For what it's worth, I was in critical care a few months ago, and the care was amazing. Those nurses were really angels on earth. I'm sure it will be the same for your dad. Xx