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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my workmate to F*** Off?

68 replies

hilzypop · 18/07/2015 09:55

For no apparent reason my slightly cookie collegue who i am very kind and tollerent of even though she is both lazy and annoying at work has taken it upon herself to be very blunt and tell me I look really old and have lots of lines around my eyes and look like I am very tired and grey! I apparently look older than my 29 years and when she first met me she thought I was 35. Last night i made some effort with my appearance on a work night out and she said oh you look really awful really old and tired so i told her to f off- it was that or burst onto tears and run to the toilet! She left shortly after that i shouldnt have used the f word but i was provolked! X

OP posts:
PuntasticUsername · 18/07/2015 09:56

YANBU.

Epilepsyhelp · 18/07/2015 09:57

What do you mean by 'cookie'?

YANBU at all, she sounds utterly horrible, ignore her comment and definitely don't bother being so nice to her in future!

scarletforya · 18/07/2015 09:59

Kooky!

Yanbu, serves the silly article right. The cheek of her!

5YearsTime · 18/07/2015 10:01

Wtf. She's a cow and probably jealous of you. Pull her up loudly on it next time Grin

frenchcheeses · 18/07/2015 10:01

I'm impressed you didn't tell her to F-off the first time. What a rude cow.

Aridane · 18/07/2015 10:01

Not the language to use in the workplace - so, yes, onreasonable for that - bit, goodness, what a cow and no barriers or workplace inhibition...

Velociraptor · 18/07/2015 10:03

YANBU. I don't think there is a lot else you could have said in reply to that. What a cow!

whois · 18/07/2015 10:03

Well, might have been better to avoid the actual work 'fuck' but you were on a night out by in the office, and she sounds a nightmare. Who on earth thinks that's a helpful thing to say to a colleague? Oh, you look like total shit yeah, you should like, get Botox or something.

Theycallmemellowjello · 18/07/2015 10:05

I don't think that you should feel bad about telling her to fuck off. Completely reasonable in the circumstances. I reckon you should have a word with her manager about the comments too.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 18/07/2015 10:06

Well done for telling her to fuck off, with any luck you won't have to have another chat about her view of your looks.

NoahVale · 18/07/2015 10:07

well said

WhatifIdid · 18/07/2015 10:08

Surely just the occasion for....

'Did you mean to be so rude?' you fuckwit

YANBU

Hassled · 18/07/2015 10:08

Years ago in my toddler group days there was a woman who every week, without exception, would tell me how exhausted I looked. It made no difference whether I was actually tired/had tarted myself up/looked shit/looked good - I'd still get that "my god, Hassled, you look dreadful - so tired. Are you OK?". It drove me CRAZY. A decade later and I'm looking much better than she is (if the lighting is flattering and I have enough makeup on).

So a) YANBU and b) ignore her. You might need to mumble an apology for the fuck word on Monday though.

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 18/07/2015 10:14

Just leave it. Don't apologise. Don't let it ruin your weekend.
Might be just what she/you needed.

Aramynta · 18/07/2015 10:22

Sounds like she needed to be told OP. If it is repetitive behaviour then she is obviously a bit obsessed with the way you look. Jealous, perhaps?

Hold your head high and ignore her. Definitely no need to apologise to her.

RachelRagged · 18/07/2015 10:26

Nasty ,

OP YANBU, I would have said much the same .. Is she perhaps jealous of you in any way ? Not nice even if it is jealousy invoked.

Icimoi · 18/07/2015 10:31

Aridane, it wasn't the workplace. OP, YANBU.

Topseyt · 18/07/2015 10:34

She needed to be told, you told her. She asked for it IMHO, so don't even consider apologising for it.

If you are spoken to on Monday then just explain how you have been provoked and goaded into it. Then leave it at that. She needs to learn boundaries.

ohtheholidays · 18/07/2015 10:36

She sounds bloody exhausting and no YANBU but she was,have you heard anything from her since?

HeisenbergSaysHello · 18/07/2015 10:38

Good on you, i would have told her to fuck off aswell

1wokeuplikethis · 18/07/2015 10:41

Nope. Totally reasonable. Some people have no idea how offensive they can be through this seemingly new approach that 'being honest' is the best thing ever. Although saying that she just sounds like a cow. A good effing off needed.

I had a friend once who kept calling me 'little rat' as in, hello my little rat. Oh shut up Rat! I told her to fuck off and it worked. Not spoken for years ;)

MrsBigginsPieShop · 18/07/2015 10:45

It was outside the office, YANBU. And don't apologise to her on Monday!

BabyFeets · 18/07/2015 10:50

It's because she is insecure. I had a 'friend' like this and she always use to make 'fat' comments to me even though she was blatently bigger than me. Even other people said to her she was bigger than me yet she didn't believe it she was just insecure

IceBeing · 18/07/2015 10:51

I think I would have simply said 'I do not want to hear your opinions on my appearance - it is unprofessional' any time she mentioned it at work.

If you meet outside work then she can say what she likes and you can tell her to f-off with impunity.

pictish · 18/07/2015 10:51

Ywnbu - she asked for it.

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