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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this is a bit shitty

64 replies

Bonkers1 · 16/07/2015 23:14

I've been given a great opportunity to temporarily cover a vacant position at work since someone left. The job is a promotion for me and I am aware I need to be interviewed for it to become a permanent position, however I am in a very good place to get the job since I've been covering it for a couple of months.

I was telling a colleague from a different dept about this, I know her well, we're always having coffee and lunch etc. I was saying how much I'd love to get the job permanently and she knew how important it was for me. I find out today that she's applied for the job at the eleventh hour. It's not even a promotion for her, it's a sideways step. There are no other applicants.

I know she is perfectly within her rights to apply for the job, I just feel really pissed off about it and think it's a shitty thing for her to do. I would still have needed to pass an interview to get the job but now I have competition and pretty stiff competition she is too as she's better qualified than me. I know it's dog eat dog out there. Maybe I've been naive.

OP posts:

Fatmomma99 · 16/07/2015 23:20

Smash her!

You've been doing it for months, you know the role.

Good luck!

cuntycowfacemonkey · 16/07/2015 23:21

Maybe she always intended to apply for it but was just last minute at getting her application in? Maybe she's unhappy in her current role? I think when it comes to jobs you just have to apply for stuff if it's right for you, you can't hold back just because someone else you know has applied.

I can understand your disappointment though but on the upside you are one the currently doing the job and they wouldn't have given you the opportunity if they didn't think you capable. Also if they give her the job then they will then have to fill her old job it may not make sense for them to move her sideways to another department.

Good luck

Lweji · 16/07/2015 23:22

I suppose it will have to be a lesson to you in relation to work colleagues.
But she may have her own motivations and it may be important for her too. Is she happy where she is?

DoreenLethal · 16/07/2015 23:23

Learning curve. Never ever tell anyone what jobs you are applying for. Then if it goes wrong, you dont have a gazillion people asking you if you got it or not. And things like this dont happen.

ilovesooty · 16/07/2015 23:24

It sounds as though you are a strong candidate but she has as much right to apply as you do.

LilyMayViolet · 16/07/2015 23:26

Ouch, that's not good! A lesson indeed. I really hope you get the job. I don't blame you for feeling annoyed. She is within her rights but it does seem underhand.

ilovesooty · 16/07/2015 23:28

If the job was openly advertised why is it underhand?

FadedRed · 16/07/2015 23:28

Well, actually is she 'better qualified' to do this job? You are already doing the job, she isn't - which gives you the advantage at interview - a proven track record that you can do it.
Your second advantage is that if she is given the job, they will then have to get a replacement for her current job, with all the expense and faff that requires.
Third advantage is that as it is a promotion for you, then you will have more motivation to work hard, whereas she won't have the same motivation.
Fourth advantage - if a sideways move for her, she will have to have explain why she wants that -is she bored in her current role? has she a problem with other people or whatever?
Yes, you can be a bit disappointed, but you need to concentrate on giving your best at interview, and try to put this distraction out of your mind.
Best of luck.

UrethraFranklin1 · 16/07/2015 23:29

Shes a colleague, she isnt even a friend? Anyone w ho wouldnt apply for a job they wanted so as not to upset a colleague who is less qualified for it is quite mad. Its not a shitty thing for her to do at all, its an entirely normal thing for her to do, and there is no reason at all for you to be pissed off with her.

Anon4Now2015 · 16/07/2015 23:29

If someone posted saying "there's a job I really really want. It's not a promotion but a sideways step but it's a job I'm really interested in and would love to have. However my colleague also wants the job. Should I apply?" I'm sure you'd tell them to apply; everyone would.

Try not to feel bitter about it. Nobody (usually) goes through the job application process unless there's something about the job they really want, she hasn't done it to have a go at you.

Good luck!

FlatWhiteToGo · 16/07/2015 23:30

Pretty crappy of her not to say something to you. People amaze me! Just really really swot up on the role and think about what you may be asked and how you can demonstrate you're the person for the job. Be confident in the interview. FX you get the job over this meanie!

Bogeyface · 16/07/2015 23:30

I know several people this has happened to, me and H included. Now the only people we discuss job applications with are each other.

I know we should all think it was coincidence but lets face it, it probably isnt. Some people get off on this kind of shit, they dont do it because they want the job/house/child that you are trying for but because they want to win over you. Pathetic but true.

I really really hope you get it but beware, it could happen that you get offered it and she tells you she was offered it first but turned it down. That happened to me too. I knew it wasnt true and my manager confirmed it, but it was horrible to realise just how nasty she was.

Original poster

Bonkers1 · 16/07/2015 23:31

Oh I know, I know. I didn't think for a moment she would apply for it too as I thought she'd have no reason to, it's a sideways step for her and I thought she was happy, but clearly not. I have learnt a lesson!! I thought it was a done deal for me but it's not now. The worst thing is, if she gets the job I'll be pretty much working under her and I'll have to hand over alot of work to her and support her in the transition. Fuck!

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 16/07/2015 23:31

Good points from Faded

Accept that she has every right to apply, prepare well for interview and don't get distracted.

StupidBloodyKindle · 16/07/2015 23:34

It is shitty. If she intended applying she should have said over lunch: hold it right there Bonkers, need to tell you I'm applying...but she is now sold on it because of your enthusiasm over lunch. Bit like not being interested in someone til they say they fancy you, or not wanting to purchase something until it is the very last one or someone else wants it, or not wanting an ex but suddenly being interested if someone else makes a play. The job wasn't on her radar, you expressed an interest, hey, presto, suddenly she's applying? as a sidestep? in a different dept? a job you are doing? without a word to you over lunch? It is shitty.

UrethraFranklin1 · 16/07/2015 23:35

You think people change jobs, buy houses and have babies not because they want to but to get one over on you? Wow, you really think an awful lot of yourself! It must be hard being the centre of the universe.

Anon4Now2015 · 16/07/2015 23:36

The worst thing is, if she gets the job I'll be pretty much working under her and I'll have to hand over alot of work to her and support her in the transition. Fuck!

If she gets the job, apply for her old job

ilovesooty · 16/07/2015 23:36

She may always have intended to apply. She's not obliged to say anything to anyone.

AdeleDazeem · 16/07/2015 23:37

I agree with cunty

If they give her the job they have to find someone for her current role. It makes sense to keep you on in the role permanently.

Best of luck with it.

Original poster

Bonkers1 · 16/07/2015 23:37

Those are good points Faded. I will put on my professional hat and sell myself and will not get distracted. In reality if I'm good enough I will get the job no matter who else applies. I will have to keep telling myself that until the interview next week!

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 16/07/2015 23:38

Good luck!

Anon4Now2015 · 16/07/2015 23:39

If she intended applying she should have said over lunch: hold it right there Bonkers, need to tell you I'm applying...

As per the advice further up this thread, I never EVER tell people when I'm applying for jobs. Sorry Bonkers but if I'd have been in her position I'd have squirmed all the way through lunch but I wouldn't have said anything either. (And I always submit applications at the last minute too - it gives me chance to edit them if I think of anything to add)

wafflyversatile · 16/07/2015 23:41

It is a shitty position to be in. She may be doing it out of malice but more probably she has reasons that are to do with her situation, not you.

Good luck.

StupidBloodyKindle · 16/07/2015 23:42

If she does get the job over you, you need to be dignified, beyond reproach, hand everything over with a rictus grin and, former friend or not, start a log of any changed behaviours/e mail trail stuff as she might not be the best line manager, having to manage someone who was after 'her' job. (Am well aware of how bitchy I sound, but there may well be a feeling there that you are a threat, whether she 'won' or not. And stand by my 'it was shitty' comments, given that she applied at the last blinking minute).
Good luck OP . If she does get it, can you apply for her current role?!

Original poster

Bonkers1 · 16/07/2015 23:43

I don't think I'm the centre of the universe and I agree she didn't have to tell me anything. I just think if it were the other way round I would have at least have said that the job really interested me too and I had been thinking of going for it.

OP posts:

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