Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To rant about attention hogging 5 year olds at school drop off?!

61 replies

Imsooverschool · 14/07/2015 10:19

Yes, I'm genuinely annoyed by a five year and need to get over it!

Crap morning for DS1, tired and upset over everything after a bad nights sleep. At the school door there was the usual group of mums having nonessential conversation with the teacher. And a little boy crying who often does -with both teachers fussing over him. He often does this and then gets to sit with the teacher for register. I know I should have compassion but I know this child well. He loves attention and being fussed over. Its part of his morning routine. He's horribly precocious and knows exactly how to get attention.

My tired little son squeezed past everyone, no one said so much as a good morning. He never fusses no matter how bad he's feeling but he looked so glum. I want to go to school and give him a hug.

DS loves affection but can't engage the teachers as easily as other kids.

OP posts:
StonedGalah · 14/07/2015 10:21

Yes yabu.

Hth.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/07/2015 10:22

kids should NOT have to push through crowds of parents to get to class.

definitely say something about that. so not fair and extremely terrifying fir many of the really small kids.

StonedGalah · 14/07/2015 10:22

Actually that was a bit harsh. It's shit but you should ignore it. All 5 year olds like affection.

nattarji · 14/07/2015 10:23

Agree get the mums out. We drop in playground no parents allowed in school in the morning

WorraLiberty · 14/07/2015 10:23

So you waited until the teacher had finished talking to the other parents, and told them your DS was tired and upset, right?

ReallyTired · 14/07/2015 10:23

It's the end of term. I expect that they are all tired and grumpy. It's not easy being five. There is little point in being angry with any five year old. All the children in reception will find year 1 a shock. So much more is expected of them.

WorraLiberty · 14/07/2015 10:25

All the children in reception will find year 1 a shock.

Why? Confused

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/07/2015 10:28

completely irrelevant anyway.

If parents need to speak to teachers make an appointment or position yourself so kids don't have to push through the parent wall.

We had cones in the play ground that the parents had to stand behind.

It's selfish and inconsiderate.

Icimoi · 14/07/2015 10:30

Seriously? You know all about the 5 year old and know that he only cries to get attention? You are professionally qualified and know for certain that, for instance, he doesn't have a social communication disorder which makes it particularly difficult for him to cope with transitions? Really?

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 14/07/2015 10:31

From a parent that now has a child that cries at drop off, I dread the school run cos every fucking morning its the same tears I even said to my mum that I think he does it out of habit and I have run out of ideas how to change it. I wish I could go back to taking him in leaving him happy instead of this drawn out drop offs.

midnightvelvetPart2 · 14/07/2015 10:32

I have this with the parents, our teacher comes out when the whistle is blown to lead her queue of children to the classroom but always, & I mean every single day, the same 3 mothers run to accost her & have a long conversation so the kids are standing outside in a line when all of the other classes have gone inside & us other parents have to stand around like lemons until they have gone in. A letter was sent out last term about making an appt to see the teacher after school as there isn't enough time in the mornings but nothing has changed.

LashesandLipstick · 14/07/2015 10:35

How do you know the reason he cries? You're being horrible OP

Aberchips · 14/07/2015 10:35

Sorry your son wasn't happy this morning, but I think you are blaming others for your unhappiness with the situation. All reception kids are tired at this time of year, hell I'm tired & I'm 36!!

Your son will be fine once he gets into class & with his friends. Spoil him a bit this afternoon and then make sure he gets an early night.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 14/07/2015 10:44

Eh, I don't think you're being that horrible op - I still remember 'that kid' from my days in primary school. Tears when they wanted attention, it does come over rather baby-ish to us with a little less compassion and patience for such behaviour. Although, you're a tiny bit precious about your own son here as well, he's had a bad morning, it's life unfortunately. At least he's good enough to get on with it - a trait some adults I know have difficulty doing (including my partner this morning, who did a fine impression of a teenager when asked to get up three separate times and still failing Angry).

EatShitDerek · 14/07/2015 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spartans · 14/07/2015 10:49

Yanbu. Especially about the parent wall. Reception class door (same door as the nursery) was always blocked by parents. We couldn't get it or back out, if you happened to be there first. Causes so much chaos on a morning the reception parents were told they are allowed in and caused much moaning from the parents.

Even if the 5 year old is genuinely upset. It shouldn't take 2 teachers to sloth him. That's ridiculous.

EatDessertFirst · 14/07/2015 10:51

I would be very proud of your son for just cracking on when he is so tired. Let the other boy and teachers get on with it. I can't stand simpering parents who hang around waiting every day to talk to the teachers about nothing.

I don't believe parents should be anywhere near the classroom unless they have an appointment. In our school, the teachers don't come onto the playground in the morning and if they approached by parents in the afternoon they insist on an appointment if it looks to be turning into a massive conversation.

Branleuse · 14/07/2015 10:54

I have one of those children that cries at drop off, and teachers have to be quite creative in making it easier for her. Shes 7, but shes stressed. Sometimes its attention seeking, sometimes i wonder if shes got herself into the habit, but shes 7. Dealt with properly and sensitively now will help it not become a bigger issue with school. Your son goes into school without a problem, so whats your issue. All the children are tired now, and im sure the other 5 year old boy isnt sitting there rubbing his hands and cackling about his powers

ReallyTired · 14/07/2015 10:58

"All the children in reception will find year 1 a shock."

I think that the transition from reception to year 1 is tougher than the transition of starting school. Reception is play based and year 1 is the proper national curriculum. So much more is expected of them. There is very little play and its so much more formal. Generally children are expected to be far more independent and there are few staff to give hugs. Parents are not allowed in the class and my daugher is expected to her stuff on her peg and do her hand writing practice independently.

Be glad that your son will have the necessary emotional maturity to cope with year 1. A five year old whose emotional control is so bad that he requires the attention of two teachers will find year 1 complete hell. In your position I would feel sorry for him, rather than angry.

PerspicaciaTick · 14/07/2015 10:58

Forget about the kids and focus on the parents who don't have the nous to leave space for the children to get into class - it sounds quite intimidating if you are only up to the thighs of most of the people in the doorway scrum.

I see parents like this everywhere (school, swimming lessons, playground) - so busy looking out for their own children that the other children end up squashed or distressed.

Heels99 · 14/07/2015 10:58

" excuse me may I have moment of your time, ds is tired and grumpy this morning, he may appreciate sitting with you while you do the register" I assume you said this.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 14/07/2015 11:03

Whatever your issues about how parents shouldn't chat to the teacher about the things you deem 'non-essential' and general drop off gripes, you are so mean and unpleasant about a five year old who cries at school in the morning.

YABU OP.

Bunnyjo · 14/07/2015 11:13

YABU, OP, and very mean about a 5yo boy. At DCs' school there are those parents who try to monopolise the time of the teachers, but unless I need to speak quickly with the teacher, I don't let it bother me. If you needed to speak with the teacher then you should have told him/her that you needed a quick word with them.

As for children crying - it is the end of term; tempers are frayed, children are tired and some of them need a little more comfort than others.

FWIW, I did want to speak to DS's teacher this morning about him (DS's teacher is also the HT), but she was incredibly busy with another parent and child. As their friends, I know the family concerned have just had their lives turned upside-down and my worries and concerns were nothing compared to theirs. Oh and most of the school parents know nothing about this; why would they? It's none of their business!

What I am trying to say, in a thousand words instead of a few, is that you have no idea why the child is particularly clingy or needy. So, yes, you do need to get over it!

HamishBamish · 14/07/2015 11:15

YANBU. It's always the same parents, time after time. To be honest, I think teachers should collect their class at the door and parents shouldn't be allowed near the classroom at all. This would also benefit those children who require extra attention to settle. There wouldn't be hoards of parents to negotiate around and the teacher could get down to the business of settling them without their parent fussing.

mumofthemonsters808 · 14/07/2015 11:20

I agree Hamish, children should not have to push through a group of adults to go through their classroom door.