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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About DP and hot drinks?

72 replies

tiredtothebone · 12/07/2015 10:12

Every single time DP makes a hot drink for himself he leaves it on the side with the handle hanging over the edge. Every time I ask him to move it to the back out of reach or I do it myself. Our toddler is very mobile and all it would take is for her to pull it with her hand and she'll be badly injured, not to mention scarred for life.

I don't think I'm being a nag or unreasonable to ask. I scan every situation for possible hazards as I think every parent would.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredtothebone · 12/07/2015 10:14

I should add, he is the same with pans of boiling water hanging over the edge of the cooker. He thinks I am neurotic to even consider this a danger - I think it's just being sensible.. Please tell me if IABU?

OP posts:
EnjoyTheSimpleThingsInLife · 12/07/2015 10:15

I agree with you, it would only take a second for her to grab it. He could at least move it further away from the edge.

YeOldTrout · 12/07/2015 10:16

doesn't matter where handle is, if it is still truly hot then it shouldn't be anywhere she can even climb to. yanbu.
Plus she'll make a mess knocking it over everywhere.

Funkingownit · 12/07/2015 10:16

Maybe find something online to show the dangers? Personal stories ,pictures etc.
YANBU I'd be extremely annoyed with my dh if he did this .

SweetAndFullOfGrace · 12/07/2015 10:16

Why would you take the risk? It's easy to avoid and the consequences could be disastrous. It seems weird that he's arguing against it.

Original poster
tiredtothebone · 12/07/2015 10:19

I know, I too don't see why he takes the risk. He's a bit arrogant and thinks he knows best.

OP posts:
TheOriginalWinkly · 12/07/2015 10:19

Why would he do this? Why?? Is he normally an arsehole that loves to prove you're wrong? Ffs it's not hard to push a cup back from the edge!

GotToFTFO · 12/07/2015 10:19

Scare tactic is needed, does he really want be responsible if his dc is scarred for life.
he should be using the back hob too.

My dd is 5 and has luckily never been burned but just last week while I was standing at the cooker with front hob on she decided to place her small toys right next to the hot pan/hob.
she was lucky by a cm.

Original poster
tiredtothebone · 12/07/2015 10:20

Funking yes that's a good idea.

OP posts:
Twowrongsdontmakearight · 12/07/2015 10:21

Just keep reminding him or move it wordlessly. If he argues then tell him he might be right. However if he's wrong your DC could be scarred for life so it's not worth the risk.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 12/07/2015 10:23

Why is he arguing against this?

Every parent I know is careful with hot drinks!

Is he stubborn/ selfish/ difficult generally?

If not, and this is a one off aberration, I would look up some stories online about toddlers who have been injured online, and show him how easily she could reach it with a cup of water.

If he is generally stubborn and pig headed and digs his heels in, I really don't know. I suppose you will have to lay down the law.

If my dh did this repeatedly I would pour his hot drinks away without warning until he learnt.

Get a baby gate for the kitchen though as it is safest and easiest to keep baby out when you are cooking, and a pan of boiling water injury could be horrific.

Bunbaker · 12/07/2015 10:23

"I should add, he is the same with pans of boiling water hanging over the edge of the cooker."

My default cooking position on the hob is using the back burners. I have done this ever since DD was little and now it is just habit.

Your DP is being an ignorant twat.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 12/07/2015 10:23

I had this 'discussion' continually with DP for ages... I was dismissed as being neurotic... Until our neice pulled over cup on newly made black coffee over herself...thankfully she has no memory of it and scars no longer show. Luckily, for us, it wasn't one of our cups...

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 12/07/2015 10:25

Or better still pour his hot drink in his lap! If he thinks hot drink injuries aren't worth worrying about

GothicRainbow · 12/07/2015 10:25

Unplug the kettle and put it away until he agrees to be more sensible.

Also agree with the baby gate, we have one and it's come in very useful as my DH is quite a messy/scatty cook and it's easier to just close the gate than try and baby proof the kitchen while he's in there.

SkaterGrrrrl · 12/07/2015 10:26

I did a baby first did course and was surprised to find a hot drink can burn a baby or toddler as long as 20 minutes after its made - their skin is so thin.

Preciousbane · 12/07/2015 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scoopmuckdizzy · 12/07/2015 10:26

I know a DC who is scarred for life after she got hold of a cup of boiling fat. I only allow my toddlers in the kitchen when they are eating.

wheresthelight · 12/07/2015 10:27

My friends little girl managed to get hold of a cup of boiling coffee even when it had been pushed back and poured it lol over herself. She had to have lots of treatment and was in complete isolation for 8 weeks. My friend is still having therapy now even though it wasn't her drink and they had made all precautions possible.

Your dp is being thoughtless and an idiot to not even attempt to protect his child

Original poster
tiredtothebone · 12/07/2015 10:30

Thanks for the replies, it's actually a relief to hear that I am not the only one who thinks this is dangerous as I just couldn't understand why he wouldn't just adjust the position of the cups - better to be safe than sorry is my motto. He doesn't see things that way.

There are other things he does that I have asked him repeatedly not to do and he ignores me. He walks around with baggy jogging bottoms on with no socks and it is very easy to get your feet caught up in the bottom. When DD was a baby he would wear these while carrying her down the stairs. I have seen with my own eyes someone fall down the stairs due to their toe getting caught in their baggy clothing, I asked him to wear different clothes but he continually refused.

He keeps adding salt to meals that he cooks (we all eat the same thing) even though I have clearly told him why babies and toddlers shouldn't have added salt, again I am ignored.

OP posts:
HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 12/07/2015 10:30

Just last week my toddler followed me into the kitchen and was playing happily on the floor whilst I cooked. She had been v grumpy all morning and I was feeling worn out so I let her. Our counter was quite crowded with washing up and as I moved things around I almost nudged a pan off the hob. It is so easy to cause avoidable accidents in the kitchen. So now we have a strict stay out the kitchen when cooking policy. Please don't let your dh get away with this careless behaviour. Keep reiterating that it is dangerous and unacceptable. I would turn off his cooking and tip away his hot drinks, he will think you a pain, but without any negatives to him he probably won't change his behaviour.

PuntasticUsername · 12/07/2015 10:30

Tell him if it's not a real threat, he'll be happy to get down to toddler level, reach a pan of boiling water on the stove and pull it all over himself to demonstrate that it can't be done and doesn't even hurt, won't he?

No. Thought not. I know a child who pulled a cup of hot coffee over himself from a table in a cafe. No negligence at all on the parents' part - just one of those things that happens in the blink of an eye. He was badly hurt, airlifted to a specialist children's hospital, had several skin graft operations and still has the scars today. Your DH is being an idiot.

grabaspoon · 12/07/2015 10:31

My mum was burnt by a cup of tea as a toddler and had to have skin grafts :(

PuntasticUsername · 12/07/2015 10:31

Dp, sorry. He's still being an idiot though Wink

Lweji · 12/07/2015 10:33

Start with the photos and stories of hurt children. Show him the statistics.

Maybe fake an accident with a narrow miss and don't say I told you so, but be very upset.

If nothing else works, tell him that you will divorce him and go for no contact for negligence if there is ever an accident.