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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to do childminding

96 replies

kennyp · 05/07/2015 10:24

someone i know but i'm so not friends with asks me "what days could you look after my children after school"

i am NOT a childminder
i don't want to be
i work anyway
i am not a fan of her kids
i live opposite the school which i suppose is why she thinks it's okay to ask me

should i say
a. i'm busy/working/etc and can't do any afternoons
b. i don't do childcare.

this has been pissing me off for AGES (she's "waiting" to hear back about what days i can do(!!!!)) and i can't decide what to say. she's not a friend so i've got nothing to lose

OP posts:
InQuiteAPickle · 05/07/2015 10:26

Shock What the hell has made her think that you'd be willing to look after her kids? Cheeky cow!

Nolim · 05/07/2015 10:27

-what days could you look after my children after school
-none

Walk away

dancemom · 05/07/2015 10:27

A random parent asked you what days you would look after their kids and is waiting to hear back from you?

Why didn't you reply when they asked?

Saying "eh none!"

Why would they assume you would?

GlitterTwinkleToes · 05/07/2015 10:28

Type a list up with your hourly rates and any extra chargers for food.

She'll most probably piss off then Grin

GemmaTeller · 05/07/2015 10:29

b

yellowdinosauragain · 05/07/2015 10:29

Wtaf didn't you say none when she first asked?

Salmiak · 05/07/2015 10:29

You could be blunt and reply with the above reasons, however I think a simple 'sorry, I won't be able to have them on any days after school, good luck finding childcare - I hear the after school club is brilliant/xxx sends her kids to this childminder and they have space' would suffice.

Justmuddlingalong · 05/07/2015 10:31

Ask her if she's mixed you up with someone who does do childminding. It might be a mistake on her part, or she may be a presumptuous, cheeky mare!

Original poster
kennyp · 05/07/2015 10:32

i keep avvoiding her. i was thinking i was being passive aggressive (i obviously read this page tooo much!!) thinking i could say to her "i dont do childcare" but obviously it's not (hooray!!)

or will do a list. per hour £5. cereal bars £2 each. water £1 a glass. toilet roll £2 per square. flushing £3. having to open the back door £4.

OP posts:
Original poster
kennyp · 05/07/2015 10:33

i was so taken aback when she asked me to let her know what days i could do (!!!!!!!!!!) ---- she wasn't expecting an answer straight away so i didn't say anything. (will go on assertiveness training course)

OP posts:
Penfold007 · 05/07/2015 10:34

Just be clear and say none.

Scoobydoo8 · 05/07/2015 10:34

In theory it is 'playmates' for your DCs and a helpful thing.

In practice the new DCs are tired after school and cause squabbles and your DCs play up as you can't punish /deal with your them as firmly as you would normally as there are others in the house.

A total pita.

Don't do it.

ladygracie · 05/07/2015 10:35

Oh no, that's way too much faff. A straight £100 an hour should cover all of those things.
I agree with the others - saying you don't do childcare is totally reasonable. Wonder why she asked you though - could it really just be that you live close to school? Are her children the same ages as yours?

elderfloweriver · 05/07/2015 10:36

Smile sweetly and say 'I'm sorry, I can't commit to having your child after school.'

Cheeky swine!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 05/07/2015 10:37

I don't do childcare and won't be in the future, what on earth made you ask such a question?, that would be my response.

CrystalCove · 05/07/2015 10:39

There's a lack of assertiveness and a lack of assertiveness....,really don't get why this has been upsetting you so much, and why you just didn't say no immediately.

SchwarzwalderKirschtorte · 05/07/2015 10:39

What makes you think that I'm a childminder?

Fluffyears · 05/07/2015 10:42

Just laugh hysterically and walk away. She'll think you're a loon and stay well away.

gobbin · 05/07/2015 10:43

Anyway, childminders have to be registered.

"I'm not a registered childminder, so I can't mind other people's children."

TheseSoles · 05/07/2015 10:44

I'm really baffled that you didn't immediately say "sorry, you must be confused? I'm not a childminder!"

Surely, since you're not friends, it's way more likely that she's made a genuine mistake than anything else?

80sMum · 05/07/2015 10:44

Just say "sorry, I don't do childminding" and leave it at that.

Original poster
kennyp · 05/07/2015 10:45

it's been pissing me off becuase the more i think about it the more i think why the HELL would i want to look after her kids? i was just shocked when she asked me. she's not someone i would even speak to in the playground. insane.

her kids are not friends with my kids in any way. i just know her from school.

OP posts:
TinyManticore · 05/07/2015 10:46

I can't imagine ever thinking 'X lives near the school, she'll undoubtedly be delighted to look after someone else's random offspring despite giving no indication that this is something she's remotely interested in or involved with.' Confused
What on earth makes her think you would do it in the first place? Some people are insane.

80sMum · 05/07/2015 10:46

Maybe someone told her you did childminding. You just need to tell her that you don't!

AuntyMag10 · 05/07/2015 10:48

Did we not have this exact thread a few weeks agoConfused