Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to not want to do childminding

96 replies

kennyp · 05/07/2015 10:24

someone i know but i'm so not friends with asks me "what days could you look after my children after school"

i am NOT a childminder
i don't want to be
i work anyway
i am not a fan of her kids
i live opposite the school which i suppose is why she thinks it's okay to ask me

should i say
a. i'm busy/working/etc and can't do any afternoons
b. i don't do childcare.

this has been pissing me off for AGES (she's "waiting" to hear back about what days i can do(!!!!)) and i can't decide what to say. she's not a friend so i've got nothing to lose

OP posts:

CrystalHaze · 05/07/2015 17:32

Why didn't you set her straight OP?
Because it is well known that AIBUs about outrageously entitled childcare requests garner a lot of "how very she?!" responses.

A childcarezilla, if you like

Original poster

kennyp · 05/07/2015 18:00

i was so "wtf????" when she asked me that i didn't remotely think to say "i'm not a cm" - she's back at work in september (when school starts) so that's why she's not in a mad rush to know if i can look after her kids.

i am not nor have never been a childminder. she had my number five (seriously - five) years ago when our kids were in the same class. she's not someone i see at all apart from at school - i'd deleted her number. god knows why she'd kept mine.

thanks for the replies :O)

OP posts:

MrsBobDylan · 05/07/2015 18:42

I just can't understand why this has been pissing you off for ages. OK, perhaps you were so shocked by being asked you forgot to mention you are not a childminder though I find that odd, but leaving it for ages and not knowing what to say is just weird.

Rather than avoiding her, next time you bump into her just say 'I'm not a registered childminder so I can't look after your kids.'

I doubt she was looking for free childcare and even if she was, you don't even like her or her kids, so it's not going to happen.

hibbledibble · 05/07/2015 19:15

I'm not sure I understand all the frothy answers.

It sounds like this mother is confused and thought you were a childminder. Just tell you aren't a childminder and leave it at that!

WipsGlitter · 05/07/2015 19:25

So she sent you a text message? She may have got the wrong end of the stick and was told / thought you were a childminder.

Just text her back!

and catch a grip

Concordial · 05/07/2015 19:33

So she's asked you by text message?
I reckon she's confused you with somebody else. Just text back with a 'sorry but I think you have text the wrong person, I'm not a childminder!'

silveroldie2 · 05/07/2015 19:38

WTF! Don't preface your response with 'sorry' since you aren't. Just reply "None - I think you must be confusing me with someone else"

Do it soon or she'll think you're thinking about it.

mistymeanour · 05/07/2015 19:38

Just say I'm not a childminder and I don't have the time. Is she cheeky enough to think you could mind them for free - I have had that (since I was a SAHM) one tried on me.

FuckitFay · 05/07/2015 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LapsedTwentysomething · 05/07/2015 19:44

Given that the woman has known OP for a minimum of five years, I think it's a fair bet that she knows OP isn't a childminder. So OP, just say no to her.

SayThisOnlyOnce · 05/07/2015 20:43

She probably thinks you organise the after school club.

Bavmorda · 05/07/2015 20:52

Some people put others on the spot because they know a lot of people find it hard to say no. This has happened to a couple of friends, and both times the person requesting the childcare was trying their luck - catching them off guard made them feel obliged to at least go away and think about it!

rollonthesummer · 05/07/2015 20:52

I'm really confused.

She has text you out of the blue and asked you what days you can have her children? You haven't replied, so she has text again saying she's waiting to hear what days you can do?

Are you just ignoring her texts??

I'm baffled by how you've got yourself in this situation?

I work with children-in a school. Nobody has ever assumed I want to look after their children before or after school. If they did-I would say, no-I have a job, thank you.

hibbledibble · 05/07/2015 20:53

lapsed op has been clear that she barely knows this woman. As the message was sent by text it is quite possible it was intended for someone else as well.

tobysmum77 · 05/07/2015 20:57

Yes I am with the mistaken identity theory.

So in which case op you just text back and say 'sorry, I thought you'd texted me by accident I dont do childminding, I think there's been a mix up' sorted.

WayneRooneysHair · 05/07/2015 21:07

I thought that she asked the OP face to face but the woman actually text the OP, seriously why is it so hard to text back either saying that you are not a childminder or that she has mistaken you for somebody else?

FuckitFay · 05/07/2015 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DinosaursRoar · 05/07/2015 21:40

ok, search her out tomorrow, big smile and say, "you asked if I could have your children after school any nights from September, unfortunately I'm not going to be able to have them, but if I hear of any childminders with spaces, I'll let you know. Sorry, got to dash, hope you get it sorted!"

Then rush off. Leave it like that, you dont have to say "but I'm not a childminder" if she's mixed you up and then her say "but why didn't you say so?" (and make you look a bit silly). You've given her no reason why you cant have them, so there's no problem that can be fixed and you don't need to lie about being somewhere else.

CrystalHaze · 05/07/2015 21:43

seriously why is it so hard to text back either saying that you are not a childminder or that she has mistaken you for somebody else?

Exactly! The fact that the OP seemingly cannot do this as "i can't decide what to say" despite the fact that "she's not a friend so i've got nothing to lose" makes the whole thing sound rather implausible to me

CrystalHaze · 05/07/2015 21:47

I wonder if there's a post on a forum somewhere asking 'AIBU to expect a response from the childminder I contacted about looking after my kids?'

WayneRooneysHair · 05/07/2015 21:50

I'm a bit at posters who post threads in AIBU about topics that can be resolved quicker than typing out the topic took, especially when the solution is quite fucking simple.

Flip

1 2 3 4