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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my DD out of school for a week or so

71 replies

Haily111 · 04/07/2015 07:40

A bit of background info:
Had a DS 10 weeks ago. He is lovely, but is hard work in so far that he feeds little and often and is a very unsettle baby. I also have a DD 9 years old and DS 2 years old.
I moved from Germany to UK when i was 18 and have lived here ever since. My parents and sibling still live in Germany. I miss my mom and dad so very very much.
I suffer from anxiety and depression and have been on Sertraline for quite a few years. In the last month i have felt extremely low, to the point when my other half comes home i am in tears every single day ð??? I am just not coping.
I want to be able to give my other half a break, but also need support, which i could have with my mom and dad for a week.
There is probably a load more info, which you need, but i cant think straight x

OP posts:
Icimoi · 04/07/2015 07:42

Please, OP, go back to your doctor urgently.

But, ideally, don't take your dd out of school. Could your mum over to help you?

Original poster
Haily111 · 04/07/2015 07:47

Thank you for replying. I have been back, spoke to them yesterday. They have increased my tablets from 50 to 100. So i know mentally i should be ok in a couple of weeks. But as it stands at the moment, i am being intolerable as a mother and partner,as feel so flipping low x

OP posts:
Original poster
Haily111 · 04/07/2015 07:53

My mom works part time. She came over when DS2 was first born for 2 weeks. I have asked her to come over again and again, but she has no leave ???? x

OP posts:
paulapompom · 04/07/2015 07:55

Sorry you're feeling low op. As Ici said it would be great if your mum and dad could visit and help. Your gp may be able to help, tiredness and hormones will be taking their toll and you could ask if Dr thinks increased dose of sertraline might help. I take sertraline and my dose has been increased due to hormonal changes.

Could you speak to your health visitor? Or Homestart? Does your partner have family that would help out, maybe just with the school run?

You are coping with a lot, it's no wonder you are feeling low and exhausted. Flowers

Tooooooohot · 04/07/2015 07:55

Jeez, take them out for a week, at 9 yes old it really won't matter, especially now as all they do is watch videos and draw shite. Having a happy healthy mum is far more important, and it sounds like you could do with some family time where you have support. Go pack your bags now!

paulapompom · 04/07/2015 07:56

Sorry x posted with you xXxX

ihatethecold · 04/07/2015 07:56

I think you should op.
The kids do bugger all work at this time of year and 1 week in the grand scheme of things isn't going to harm her education.
If your mum has no leave available will she be able to help you in Germany?

Mrsjayy · 04/07/2015 07:57

Could you go just you and the baby and your toddler and leave your dd to finish school? When does her holidays start

MadauntofA · 04/07/2015 07:58

Could your DP manage with your 9yr old for a week and you go to your mums with your two LOs? I'm really sorry you are feeling this way.

Original poster
Haily111 · 04/07/2015 08:00

They have put me in touch with home start but no one suitable just yet. Also with the summer hols coming up they have said it may take a bit longer.
I do have friends and DPs family close. But DPs mom works in a care Hone so does shift work. When she is around she is extremely helpful bless her.
My mom only works until 1 so i know she would be able to help in the afternoons as that is when i am the worst. I just feel like i am crap at all this. I am relying on DD to help me with the two boys which isnt fair on her ????

OP posts:
TheCowThatLaughs · 04/07/2015 08:00

I would take dd out of school
She won't miss much at this time of year
You could ask the teacher for some work to take with you

Tooooooohot · 04/07/2015 08:05

Please take them out of school otherwise you will continue on a downwards spiral.

Mrsjayy · 04/07/2015 08:05

You know what just go to your mums ask the school for authorised leave say you are ill and are going to Germany

Original poster
Haily111 · 04/07/2015 08:13

I think her holidays start on 22/07.
My DP works full time and is the only one in the company, so if he doesn't work then no money comes into the business. He has been extremely supportive of me and i have phoned him in tears and he has come straight home. The business wont be able to cope with this for much longer tho. My DD finishes school at 3.20 so it wouldn't be feasible to get him to pick her up. She would also be heartbroken if i took the boys to Germany and not her.
I think i may take her out then. Thank you for all your support and advice x

OP posts:
hiccupgirl · 04/07/2015 08:21

Normally I'd say no you shouldn't take your DD out of school, but at this time of year and for the reasons you say, yes I think you should.

They will be playing games, watching DVDs and generally not doing a massive amount of school, especially if the heat continues. The only concern is if it means your DD misses out on meeting her teacher for next year but this may not be a problem for her.

Georgethesecond · 04/07/2015 08:25

I agree with hiccup. And your DD probably already knows who the teacher is. Settling in sessions aren't massively important if a child isn't changing schools.

Normally I would never take a child out of school, but at this time of year and for these reasons, maybe you should. What does your DH think?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 04/07/2015 08:25

Bollocks, just take her. It's not like you're trying to save £50 on a cheap break somewhere, this is important.

Tooooooohot · 04/07/2015 08:27

I think youaresllbunchofbastards sums it up nicely!

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/07/2015 08:32

Don't even think about it. just go. see your family, and some rest from the whole school run thing and let family coo over the baby and hardly see baby as a result Wink

then when you come back go back to the drs and see what else they can do for you.

sarahandemily · 04/07/2015 08:35

Just go - being with your mum will do you and your family the world of good

Finola1step · 04/07/2015 08:37

Take her. And I say this as an Assistant Headteacher of a primary school. But tell the school why you are going. Tell the that you are very unwell and you need to return to your parents for a month or so to recuperate. Tell them that you will make sure that your DD is back in school for the first day of term.

Etak15 · 04/07/2015 08:45

I would defo take her out of school, explain to school the situation or ask your dp to do it if you don't feel up to long chats with the head teacher! and get yourself off to your parents. She won't miss anything these in the last week, and it will do you the world of good, the meds increase will hopefully have made a difference when you return but also being away and looked after a bit will do you the world of good.

Penfold007 · 04/07/2015 08:51

If you can get the support you need with your parents in Germany could you go a week or so before terms ends and stay for a few weeks?
On a practical note will you be able to cope with three children on a flight.

lilacblossomtime · 04/07/2015 08:52

I would, it is not long till the holidays and a lot they are doing at school is just fun stuff. You can do a bit extra reading and maths puzzles and teach her some German while you are there.

LarrytheCucumber · 04/07/2015 08:53

Depending on the school they might put it down as an unauthorised absence so OP does need to send an email or letter explaining the situation.
On the other hand the chance to visit relatives in another European country is definitely educational.