Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3

AIBU?

To take my DD out of school for a week or so

71 replies

Haily111 · 04/07/2015 07:40

A bit of background info:
Had a DS 10 weeks ago. He is lovely, but is hard work in so far that he feeds little and often and is a very unsettle baby. I also have a DD 9 years old and DS 2 years old.
I moved from Germany to UK when i was 18 and have lived here ever since. My parents and sibling still live in Germany. I miss my mom and dad so very very much.
I suffer from anxiety and depression and have been on Sertraline for quite a few years. In the last month i have felt extremely low, to the point when my other half comes home i am in tears every single day ð??? I am just not coping.
I want to be able to give my other half a break, but also need support, which i could have with my mom and dad for a week.
There is probably a load more info, which you need, but i cant think straight x

OP posts:

Report

Dearagatha · 04/07/2015 13:00

You could go to Germany just with your newborn and toddler and your dp can bring your 9yr old when school is over?

tomatodizzymum · 04/07/2015 13:04

can your OH and DD stay in the UK. Can you get a childminder to do the school run etc. Is that a possible option? I only say that because the last thing you need is letters from the council about school absence, but it really sounds like you need to go to Germany.

tomatodizzymum · 04/07/2015 13:05

I forgot it's nearly the end of term in the UK, silly me, go!

SuburbanRhonda · 04/07/2015 13:07

I agree you should take her out of school if she's happy with that.

However, I don't agree that taking time off school because it's the right decision for your family should automatically go hand in hand with rubbishing schools, as per winter.

It is not a peculiarly British notion that good attendance at school is important. It is the law in most countries that value education, and in the UK it is enforced by government.

OP, do you have Home Start in your area? Could you ask your HV to refer you?

MiscellaneousAssortment · 04/07/2015 13:08

It's in your Dd interests to have a functioning mummy.

I think people sometimes forget the priorities in the 'no missing school' under any circs obsession...

BeyondTheWall · 04/07/2015 13:11

Just another vote to go from me. I hope you feel better soon

SuburbanRhonda · 04/07/2015 13:31

miscellaneous, I've never heard anyone, either on here or IRL, who thinks children shouldn't miss school under any circumstances.

I think what many of us who work in schools feel irritated by is the "they do nothing in the last few weeks of term" brigade who always make an appearance on these threads.

I manage attendance in my school but I've said I think the DD should go if that's what she wants to do. But for her family, not because any misconception about how schools spend the last few weeks of term.

Mrsjayy · 04/07/2015 13:35

Rhonda she has been in touch with Homestart think they are trying to get her a volunteer but with school holidays coming up and other things it might take a while

mmollytoots · 04/07/2015 13:39

can your mum not ring into work sick for a few days and come over.

I would if you were my daughter and needed help.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 04/07/2015 13:39

Oh I completely agree that 'they aren't doing anything useful in the last few weeks' is wrong.

My child is very small and is still doing important things each day in school, and I'm baffled where all these schools are that just do films and jigsaws for the final weeks.

I do think that sometimes though there is a knee jerk 'no way' to any school absence though. Not all the time, but sometimes.

And the OP sounds so fragile that she could get really upset if that happened to her (in rl primarily)

Lolimax · 04/07/2015 13:47

Go! Get you better. Better mummy makes for a happier family all round. Having suffered PND many years ago I'd say pack and get on the first plane going. Good luck and please let us know how you are feeling!

SuburbanRhonda · 04/07/2015 14:27

Thanks, mrsjayy, I missed that.

Haily111 · 04/07/2015 14:47

Thank you all, i do appreciate you all being so kind.
My DD does have good attendance and i am aware that she will probably still be doing school work up until the end of term.
I dont know why my mom hasnt phoned in sick,mi may ask her that.
Will let you all know how it goes x

OP posts:

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 04/07/2015 17:17

However, I don't agree that taking time off school because it's the right decision for your family should automatically go hand in hand with rubbishing schools, as per winter.

Please pay attention before quoting people. I rubbished peoples attitude to schooling, not schools at all.
This bizarre system of fines and attendance and endless rules and paperwork you've got yourself signed up to is crazy. It doesn't even work, like most of the stupid systems the British establishment keep endlessly extending until everyone drowns in a sea of rules.
These huge fines are insane. I live in a country that recognises that as a parent, day to day decisions regarding my child are mine. There are systems in place to identify and support those that have poor attendance without any of this nonsense.

OP's family needs are more important than a nine year old missing a few days of school, end of story.

DoreenLethal · 04/07/2015 17:41

Oh OP - you poor thing.

My best friend was struggling at 10 weeks, I went to visit and she practically threw the baby at me and cried for around 2 hours. A week later she had turned a corner and had got her head together.

I don't think it is fair to ask your mum to call in sick though. She could lose her job over that.

nikki1978 · 04/07/2015 17:47

Be prepared to get a fine though OP. I took mine out for a week and got fined £120 for each child. They tend to fine if you go over 4.5 days so a full week may incur one depending how understanding your Head is.

mygrandchildrenrock · 04/07/2015 17:54

I really don't think a school would fine you because you are not having a holiday, you are ill and going home to your parents to recuperate.
Good luck with it all, and I hope you feel better soon.

Haily111 · 04/07/2015 19:10

Thank you for all the replies. Spoken to DP and parents. Apparently Eurotunnel is having issues at the moment so i may delay it a few days x

OP posts:

Shapebandit · 04/07/2015 19:44

If your mum can't get time off work to help you will you not be in the same boat over there? Just waiting for her to come home from work each day rather than waiting for your dh to come home each day here? Plus you'll have an extra child yo look after as your dd won't be in school

keepitsimple0 · 04/07/2015 20:09

It is not a peculiarly British notion that good attendance at school is important. It is the law in most countries that value education, and in the UK it is enforced by government.

yes, but I think it's only the UK that equates taking a child out of school to treason. there is a difference between valuing education and the UK's draconian attitude to school attendance.

@OP: go. do what you need to do.

Haily111 · 04/07/2015 21:01

Shapebandit, she only works until midday so i would have her in the afternoons when i am at my worst. My dad would be home late afternoon too x

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.