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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fobbed off with a dairylea triangle

76 replies

Fletcherl · 28/05/2015 19:52

We have been on holiday this week. DH is chatting to the B and B owner who knows us as we are regulars. The owner asks DH how he is replies that he is doing much better as he has come into some money from an inheritance. This is news to me.
Later on I ask DH about it. He tells me a relative died and left him £70000. He also tells me he has partitially cleared a debt with it. I knew he had a debt but no idea of the magnitude. I just felt stunned.
I went out today and then DH texts that a close friend and neighbour has died. I am driving home to be with our friends. I have just arrived home and rung to say I am home safely. DH says he is sorry I am having a difficult time getting to grips with his financial news and the bereavement and to cheer me up he has brought me some diarylea triangle!
I love my husband but I am beyond words.

OP posts:
Fatmomma99 · 28/05/2015 19:54

Confused.... Shock.... Angry on your behalf.

CookieLady · 28/05/2015 19:55

Shock Has he explained why he didn't tell you about it?

Wombat22 · 28/05/2015 19:55

He inherited such a large amount and didn't tell you Shock
He can go to hell with the Diarylea
Wine

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 28/05/2015 19:59

You've got much bigger problems than a cheese triangle.....

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 28/05/2015 20:02

He inherited £70k which he didn't tell you about but freely tells a b&b owner?
He partially pays off a debt with it - you didn't know how large the debt was (how frigging large was it if £70k only partially clears?!?!).
He buys you dairylea to comfort you when bereaved?

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

Leeds2 · 28/05/2015 20:03

He inherited £70 000, and didn't tell you? Who from?

gamerchick · 28/05/2015 20:03

Time for a come to Jesus meeting imo. I would want details and paperwork put in front of me.

OhEmGeee · 28/05/2015 20:04

Wtf?

editthis · 28/05/2015 20:07

Have some Wine to go with your cheese. Sounds like you might need it.

Original poster
Fletcherl · 28/05/2015 20:10

DH is non uk. He had mentioned that he might be left some money when a relative died last year. The whole inheritance seemed complicated involving international law and complicated family trees and traditions.
He just said he might get money, no idea if he would or how much. We talked for about 30 seconds about it months ago. He now says the relative would have wanted him to pay his debts which does seem likely.
However however, I can not imagine how he omitted to mention this.
I feel as if I can't really matter that much.

OP posts:
carabos · 28/05/2015 20:12

Sorry this has made me laugh out loudBlush. I know this is a massive deal for you and for the dairylea alone you need to ltb ddq.

Nessalina · 28/05/2015 20:12

Good god, how the heck did that not come up in conversation???

cuntycowfacemonkey · 28/05/2015 20:14
Shock
Thisismyfirsttime · 28/05/2015 20:19

Did he openly tell the B&B owner knowing you were right there and knew nothing about it?!
I'd be getting to the bottom of this debt right now. This second. Could he have meant he used it partially to pay a debt off (smaller debt, left over money)? Either way it seems you need a very serious conversation!
I'm sorry for your bereavement Thanks

BolshierAyraStark · 28/05/2015 20:21

Sweet jesus, you've got big big problems love, sorry.

Also Laughing Cow are waaaay better, just saying...

OldBeanbagz · 28/05/2015 20:22

I'm Shock on your behalf. How big is the debt if he didn't pay it all of it off with the inheritance?

I think this would flag up massive warning bells to me. What kind of husband doesn't tell you this? And to console you on the loss of a friend with a Diarylea triangle. That's just massively insensitive.

I unexpectadly came into some money recently (nowhere near £70k) and the first thing i did was tell my DH.

fhdl34 · 28/05/2015 20:22

I shouldn't laugh but ... Dairylea!?!
How could he not tell you about £70k, it's a huge amount of money!

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 28/05/2015 20:23

WTAF?!

gaggiagirl · 28/05/2015 20:26

He must think nothing of you. Sorrys he's such a ball sack.

Original poster
Fletcherl · 28/05/2015 20:26

It wasn't intentional that I found out because he hold the B and B owner it was hapless. He had remembered the fragment of conversation then gone from there.
It was sort if ' if we get the money we could clear some debts or start a pension or a meal out if it's not much,depends'
The debt I think is related to a business. He is angry and upset.
He has now texted to say he has also bought a flake for me!

OP posts:
WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 28/05/2015 20:29

Why is he angry and upset?

Unexpected · 28/05/2015 20:30

Does your husband share anything at all of importance with you? He didn't tell you about the inheritance yet remembered to mention it to a random acquaintance, he cleared a debt with it that you seem to know nothing about and you don't even know to what the debt relates?

FlabulousChix · 28/05/2015 20:30

But as his wife half that money is yours. I'd be really fucked off with the deceit. It's lying by omission

LuluJakey1 · 28/05/2015 20:30

Take the flake (never turn down chocolate) and then have it out with him. £70,000 and he didn't tell you! DH tells me if he wins a tenner on the lottery and spends it on us!

Sconejamcream · 28/05/2015 20:31

Your dh is a fucking knob. Unbelievable. I couldn't trust him after this.