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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I must be a very lax parent?

52 replies

ImNameyChangey · 04/05/2015 20:27

DH has a load of wooden pallets in the garden...he'd piled them up to use later in the week on a project.

He realised as he piled them that DD aged 7 would definitely climb up the pile so he took care to make it into a safe pile...sturdy and solid...not wobbly...then he put a bag of sand at the base for her to jump off onto.

We never invited her to climb on it...we just knew she would. Sure enough later on I saw that she'd discovered it and was climbing up and jumping off...it's not a high pile...comes up to her waist tops.

Anyway...looking out of the window I head the next door neighbour calling out over the fence "Ooh don't do that! Don't climb up on that! Ooh you'll get splinters!"

So I called out "it's fine...she's ok" and the neighbour said "Oooh I don't know how you cope!"

So I said "What do you mean?" (even though I knew what she meant)

And she said "Well...she's a rogue! Always climbing!"

So I said "And? She's not made of glass...she's ok....Carry on DD!"

WIBU? AIBU to let her do things like that?

OP posts:
Cassie258 · 04/05/2015 20:32

She's a rogue! Love it!

I can't say if you're lax or not but I can say that I would have done the same but I wouldn't have been thoughtful enough to put the sand there (probably)

Screw your neighbour. I'm sure you're DD is happy and healthy, regardless of the splinters Wink

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 04/05/2015 20:32

Not at all. You made it as safe as possible, probably safer than climbing trees etc. Kids need to explore.

Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 04/05/2015 20:33

She didn't get any splinters...

OP posts:
KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 04/05/2015 20:33

Nah, I'm the same.

We go to our local White Horse a lot which is covered in sheep dung. Other parents seem to spend the entire time saying, 'Mind the poo! Mind the poo! Careful, there's poo.'

Hmm

DS just stands in the poo. Meh.

Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 04/05/2015 20:34

Lol Joffrey Some people are a bit ott. I do understand fear of roads or strange dogs...but piles of wood? Meh.

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 04/05/2015 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

keepsmiling2015 · 04/05/2015 20:36

Yanbu

Isabelleforyourbicycle · 04/05/2015 20:38

My parents used to let us clamber over piles of wood ( we had a woodburner) and explore in a safe manner. This put me in good stead when I was slightly older, out by myself, I.e with friends but not parents, on dartmoor, where I could naturally risk assess.

Go tell your NDN to get bent.

BeachyKeen · 04/05/2015 20:38

I think kids need a healthy amount of risk, and this sounds just right. She wasn't climbing in some builder site under cover of darkness, she was safe and supervised.
Dirt, splinters and scrapes (even the odd broken bone) are a normal part of growing up.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 04/05/2015 20:42

Hahaha! "always climbing" - what a bloody nightmare, how DO you cope?!

SurlyCue · 04/05/2015 20:42

Grin my mum is forever having a heart attack at my dcs running too fast or if im not standing over them for a minute. I asked her yesterday if she remembered my childhood at all? "Of course i do" she said. "So, you'll remember that DSIS and i disappeared for hours at a time in the countryside, played in rivers, swam under bridges through tiny tunnels, played in and on the ruins of old farmhouses, climbed the roof of the hay barn, jumped off the top of the stacks of straw to the cobbled floor and plenty more.?" She blushed Grin

Ughh · 04/05/2015 20:52

There is a playground somewhere in Holland which not only consists of palettes & bits of wood, but provides hammers & nails so that kids can build their own stuff. Now that's my sort of playground!

RatOnnaStick · 04/05/2015 20:55

DS2, aged 2, would be at the top of that.

Nervo · 04/05/2015 20:56

I remember playing in the foundations of the house being built next door when I was around the same age. Haven't a clue where my parents would have been.

Claralikessage · 04/05/2015 20:59

Great parenting! giving them confidence. I think we are the only family I know whose children have a trampoline without a cage net.

Sparklingbrook · 04/05/2015 21:00

Nice of the neighbour to be concerned about your child's welfare.

Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 04/05/2015 21:04

Not to the point of saying something! Whilst DH was there. He didn't even take it in tbf but still...if there's a parent present then it's rude to butt in. Unless he was dangling her over a balcony or something!

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 04/05/2015 21:07

My mum has a turn every time my children do anything mildly perilous. She wasn't like that with us, it's something that kicks in with other people's children. It's hard not to be protective when you don't fully understand the child's abilities.

I probably wouldn't be able to stop myself saying something if I saw what looked like an opening scene on Casualty in the neighbour's garden.

howabout · 04/05/2015 21:08

YANBU. Not sure it is really your neighbour's place to be commenting on your decision to let her climb - no problem with calling her a rogue though. My DD3 answers to toerag. DD2 aged 12 climbed a 30 foot tree when out with her Granny today - not sure how I feel about this but at least like yours she has been developing climbing skills from a young age!

meglet · 04/05/2015 21:09

uggh there's a wild playground in North Wales too I think.

Me and a friend were talking about how we need one in our town.

The dc's and their mates play in the woods after school. They carry sticks, drag abandoned litter and furniture out to make their den and bash things. Another parent (who was new to the set up) came up to me appalled that they were "carrying sticks!!". I was Hmm.

Coyoacan · 04/05/2015 21:13

I always believed that a few bumps and scrapes wouldn't do my dd any harm. She was actually a very cautious child and not a climber at all, much to my chagrin, but at least she has grown up knowing how to handle herself and know how to take care of herself.

meglet · 04/05/2015 21:15

It's Plas Madoc in Wales, there's a lovely guardian article about it. They're allowed to saw wood and light fires. Mine would want to move in Smile.

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo · 04/05/2015 21:16

It's kind of her to be concerned.

Dh and I grew up on farms as did our children. We knew (as our children did) what machinery not to go near, what barns not to go into and how to keep ourselves safe. I used to ride on the trailer bringing hay bales in from the fields as a child - on the top of the hay. Our children were brought up stepping in cow/horse/sheep shit and sitting on DH 's knee from around 2 "driving" the tractors. They all could ride quads by themselves by age 8 going up the fields. By age 11(ish) they could all drive the smaller tractors. By age 15 they could easily tow trailers with livestock in them. They all could milk and deliver calves and lambs by age 14(ish). They climbed trees, swam in rivers and swung from the top of hay bales from a rope. They had a tree swing over a small river and used to jump off into the water in the summer. If you're a lax parent Op we must be fucking awful ones Grin

DisappointedOne · 04/05/2015 21:16

Yup. This is how I am with DD (aged 4). She even climbs on the coffee table in SOCKS.

Sparklingbrook · 04/05/2015 21:17

It doesn't say in the OP your DH was there.