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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find the phrase "He took me out" a bit....something...

74 replies

MrsTawdry · 15/02/2015 22:05

I know it's the way people describe a partner taking the initiative and perhaps booking somewhere...or arranging an outing...but I find it annoying.

I just read on another thread "She got taken out for a meal and a walk by the canal"

And I thought...like a dog!?

This isn't a thread about a thread because this phrase has annoyed me before.

"He took me out"

"He never takes me out"

What's up with "We don't go out much" or "He's never arranged a night out for us!"

Do men say "She took me out for a meal"

???

OP posts:
hijk · 15/02/2015 22:07

I think it depends who plans and pays. Mostly I take DS out. Occasionally he takes me out.

hiddenhome · 15/02/2015 22:08

'Taken out' means murdered in my book Grin

It's a bit infantile, because dogs and children are 'taken out' for walks and trips. To say it in an adult context is submissive, childish and subservient.

Joyfulldeathsquad · 15/02/2015 22:09

Yes I see your point.

It's not a phrase I use but never really thought about it.

EatShitDerek · 15/02/2015 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarpeJugulum · 15/02/2015 22:11

Generally I used we went. However, if DH has organised it all as a treat, or vice versa, then I will say he took me to.

SoupDragon · 15/02/2015 22:12

To say it in an adult context is submissive, childish and subservient.

No it isn't. It simply standard phrasing.

Not everything has some warped hidden meaning.

MajesticWhine · 15/02/2015 22:14

Yes, it sounds kind of old fashioned and sexist. Maybe it's ok if it's obviously a treat for one or other party i.e. "He took me out for my birthday".

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/02/2015 22:14

Depends if you're "taken out" or "taken out out" , a la Mickey Flanagan Wink

okeydonkey · 15/02/2015 22:18

Like taking the rubbish out

usualsuspect333 · 15/02/2015 22:24

My DP sometimes tells people he is taking me out for dinner.

It does annoy me when he says it. I just give him the look.

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 15/02/2015 22:26

We don't say it. DH and I...we say "We went out" or "Tawdry and I went to the theatre last week" or in my case "DH and I decided to go for a drink or 9"

You know...because he doesn't "Take me out" anywhere! We go together.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsTawdry · 15/02/2015 22:26

Usual why don't you just tell him not to say it...he's probably never given it much thought...

OP posts:
usualsuspect333 · 15/02/2015 22:28

That's how I feel when DP says it.

usualsuspect333 · 15/02/2015 22:30

I have told him, he just gives me a look Grin

I don't think he means anything by it, it's just a turn of phrase to him.

Still annoys me though.

CinnabarRed · 15/02/2015 22:30

Did anyone see the episode of "The Comic Strip Presents..." where Ade Edmonson and Rik Mayall were somehow mistaken for assassins and paid to take our Nicholas Parsons? They took him to the fair, the seaside..,

CinnabarRed · 15/02/2015 22:32

Mr Jolly Lives Next Door it was called.

molyholy · 15/02/2015 22:40

Yanbu. I asked my colleague if he had any plans for the weekend as you do. He said he was going to take his wife out for a meal somewhere nice, out of town. I said ooh lovely, how much will that set you back in a taxi. (Only because i fancy going myself, not because I'm a nosey bitch. He said his wife would be driving. I was abit Hmm. Surely they were just going out for a meal together? If anything she was taking him.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 15/02/2015 22:45

Yes, I know plenty of men who use the same forms with a women doing it, I do agree that the threads where it happens tend to use it in a passive sense, but then the people complaining on AIBU about that would be the submissive type who want / need their partner to do it without prompting.

Of course they really need to take their cue from real submissives and talk about that need with their partner and how to incorporate it in a safe and easy manner for them both - rather than just hope the partner will "get it".

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 15/02/2015 22:50

Well I thought you'd all tell me I was being unreasonable! But I am glad that it's likely I'm not. It's just so bloody twee!

OP posts:
TwinkieTwinkle · 15/02/2015 23:03

Going to be awkward here but I think you are totally unreasonable. It's a turn of phrase! Why get het up over something so silly?!

GingerLDN · 15/02/2015 23:09

Really? This thread has made me Confused What on earth is wrong with he took me to... etc? If we are just going out somewhere I say we are going to/we went to. If it's his treat I say he's taking me/took me to. It means something different. I find it really strange that this would bother anyone!

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 15/02/2015 23:13

I feel I need to say hello Grin

Samcro · 15/02/2015 23:15

wow
do people really get their arse in a knot about this stuff.

HopeClearwater · 15/02/2015 23:19

Language tells you a lot about cultural attitudes though. You can't just say it's got no deeper meaning.

I hate that 'fell for a baby' phrase for just that reason. 'Fell'? It's like the fall from grace in the Garden of Eden (remember that was Eve's fault, not Adam's). The verb 'to fall' is often used metaphorically. How the might are fallen, and all that.

HopeClearwater · 15/02/2015 23:19

*mighty !

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